Leon,

I think you shouldn't even be trying to argue with her on this.
Whether non virgins can marry at church is a non issue, but keeping your selves for each other until after you marry will be the best thing you do for yourselves.

By doing so you protect your conscience and give no room for guilt to mar your enjoyment of each other after marriage.

It may seem trivial, but it is important.

Your gf is misquoting Jesus in Matt 7:13-14

Enter through the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and spacious and broad is the way that leads away to destruction, and many are those who are entering through it. But the gate is narrow (contracted by pressure) and the way is straitened and compressed that leads away to life, and few are those who find it. [Deut. 30:19; Jer. 21:8.] (‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭13-14‬ AMP)

The correct statement should be "few WILL make it to heaven."

Salvation is for all, Grace is free but not cheap.

Remember the parables of the merchant and the pearl of great price, and the treasure in the field?

Each parable describes the kind of sacrifice made to acquire the pearl or treasure.

I am not talking about having to follow a set of rules and regulations.
I am talking about having a real relationship with God.

We were fallen people and though we are new creations in Christ (2 Cor 5:17) we are constantly refined from glory to glory (2 Cor 3:18)

Sadly it is this refining process that many cannot take and they opt out, whether knowingly or unknowingly.

Some openly leaving, others staying but.....



Why am I replying to this?

There are many in danger of mistaking Grace as a passport to living a self centered life.

Am I saying we must be ascetics?
No, but I am saying that every Christian knows what God is dealing with in their own life and it is to their own benefit that they cooperate with God.

I don't,
I just know Jesus says.
But the gate is narrow and the way is straitened and compressed that leads away to life, and few are those who find it

Maybe i am mistaken to equate "life" with "heaven"

De1929

I just like to ask you a couple of questions.
I appreciate if you can answer as simply as possible.

1 Who is Jesus Christ?
2 how does a person get saved?

That's what I want to know from you.

I appreciate if others don't answer or comment on the answers.

Thanks.

Thanks

I am not sure which century your mindset of a real man is from but I can assure you your woman won't be happy.

A break up is always difficult.

Is it possible to give the whole relationship thing a rest for a few months and focus on building your career, or your other interests? It will help distract you from the hurt.

De1929

The context here is Paul talking about food offered to idols.

Do you realize the danger of just asking the HS without taking into consideration the Word?

What we hear might not be the HS but our own heart and because we already want to hear a particular answer, we will likely "hear" it. Jeremiah 17:9 says "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" NLT

This is why we have to cross reference our answer back to the Word of God. It is there for a purpose, to keep us on track.

Holy. Spirit will not contradict what bible teaches, if He does, then what assurance do we have that what the bible says is really true?

If the Holy Spirit contradict the Word then how can we be sure salvation is truly by faith thru grace?
How can we be sure that God so loved the world that he sent Jesus to die for our sins?

Do you understand?

I empathize with you.

Know for sure it's not sinful to want a life partner.

Like I said earlier, break up hurts. It's natural to feel bad about it.

Do you have a buddy you can talk to about this?
Go out with your friends for sports or makan.
Your church may have a counselor you can talk to, ask about it. Even if they don't have a counselor some of the deacons or elders may be able to talk to you.

It will take time to heal but you will survive.

This post has been edited by yaokb: Jan 19 2015, 01:43 PM

When I read your answer I get an impression you don't really believe in the omnipotence of God.
You do not believe that God can overcome every obstacles no matter how impossible it seems, so you have to use the way of the world to "help" God.

Don't you know when you use the way of the world, you give the enemy a foothold to attack you?

Note I say attack You, not God.

Friend, You are walking on very dangerous ground.

I really don't like to answer you on this, basically you have both wheels of the Christian faith ie Recognition of who Jesus is and how we get saved,
so all these are extracurricular issues that do not affect our salvation.

I will try answer one by one

a) specifically on church building, since when does preaching the gospel get stopped by lack of church buildings? it does not compute. there will come a day in our land, no it is already here, when even churches in shoplots will be dis allowed. does it mean we stop meeting because there is no church building? certainly not, right?

b) please stop referring to Bill Wilson and his ministry. I do not know exactly his circumstances are and what he actually does to over come them. I have the greatest respect for his street sunday school work and I am strongly against the insinuations you are making.
However, to satisfy you with a biblical example, please remember what Sarah did. By trying to help Abraham obtain a heir, Ishmael was born. look at what happened today because Ishmael is born.
My point is this, the ends DO NOT justify the means, because whatever the root is, the fruit will be.
Even if there is temporary good from the ways of the world, we cannot foretell what the actual consequences will be in the end.

c) I agree under God's will there will be no foothold for the enemy to attack. Your recommendation to make sure it is 100% under God's will is excellent.
How then do we make sure it is 100% under God's will? The answer from the HS must correspond with the instruction from God's Word, and we must have the witness in the spirit that it is right.
Even then, there is no 100% certainty because we still have to exercise Faith.
If we are only to depend on what we hear when we pray then the highest probability of it being God's will is 50% at best. (actually this is a terrible example. you cant be 50% right but i can't think of a better way to put it in mathematical terms)

You have your heart in the right place.
You have to let your brain catch up.

Stay strong kron_ka,
this will pass in due time.

it feels like the end of the world, but your heart will keep beating.

the pain will lessen with each passing day.

it will lessen faster if you occupy your self with other activities and not brood over your ex.

if you are not working, you could think of going to Kelantan to volunteer in the clean up effort. how about that?

DT,

You seem genuine in your effort in accommodating your Christian GF in wanting to find a compromise to the situation you face.

If your GF is knowledgable in her faith, then she will never be able to be comfortable in agreeing to the temple ceremony. She might relent in the end but she will not be happy with it.

As a married man, let me share this nugget with you,

HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE

Since you say you are agnostic, you may want to reconsider your stand for the sake of long term happiness in your married life.

Now on to the discussion on inclusivity, the essay you referred to actually addresses the topic of the Revelation of the knowledge of God rather than the way to salvation for mankind.

Although the essay argues for inclusivity, it actually provides the reasoning why believing In Jesus is the safest choice one can make!

The excerpt I refer to

Imagine that you are just about to climb a high mountain, and you stand at the mountain base and look at three signs that points to three different paths, and each sign tells you that that particular path will take you safely to the top. Three guides come up to you and each of them gives you different advice. The first guide says that only one of the paths will take you to the top, and if you choose one of the other paths you will surely fall down the mountain and die. The second guide tells you not to listen to him, assuring you that all the paths are equally safe and will take you to the top. The third guide enters the stage and agrees with the second guide that all paths will take you to the top, but one of the paths is easier to walk and is furthest away from the danger. Which guide would you expect telling the truth?

This story illustrates the three different views of revelation held by contemporary theologians; the exclusivist, relativist (pluralist), and inclusivist view.

Of course the essay goes on to expand the 3 views which I will not touch on here.

Take another look at the story again.

If you are a logical thinking person, which guide will you trust to bring you safely to the top?

Let me simplify
A,B,C
A says route 1 only.
B say all can
C say all can but 1 easiest.

Logic,

If all can, then all 3 guides can lead u to the top
If only 1 can, then A is right and B and C are wrong

In all 3 scenarios, only A is always right! Agreed?


At the risk of appearing dogmatic, the reason why Christians hold on to an exclusive view is that the very Person we choose to put our trust in said in John 14:6, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Therefore, if I truly believe in Jesus, do I take Him at His word or do I take the world's feelings and reasonings into consideration?

The argument

Christians believe that God will go, and has gone, to any lengths to bring human beings to know and love God. How then could God ignore millions of human beings in primal societies, and fail to reveal anything of the Divine to them?[12]

Is flawed because we don't know if God failed to reveal the Divine to these primal societies.
God is omnipotent and omniscience. He know exactly how to deal with each individual human being when it comes to the matter of salvation.

De1929

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read your comments.

You like a trumpet in God's big orchestra. And you love to play.

You play whether it is your turn or not.

Sometimes you play the wrong song , sometimes you play out of tune , on the rare occasion you actually sound quite all right"

And by playing out of tune, you irritate the other instrument players.

The players complain loud and long but you ignore them.

You think they are wrong and you are right.

Don't you know in life nobody is right all the time?

The problem with you is that you refuse to stop and check if there really is some truth to the complaints that your teaching is off balance. You behave like a donkey, stubborn and ignorant.

Some of your sharing is completely wrong but you refuse to use your brain to think it through.
You use the bible when it suit your convenience and ignore it when it does not align to your so called "new technology"

When confronted with biblical evidence your teaching is wrong, you basically say I go my way and you go yours.

I prayed about this before posting.
Know this, God does love you, but if you persist in continuing the way you are, you will have to reap the results of your actions.

Actually your so called teaching is not new. Jesus actually referred to it in the book of Revelations. 2:6, and 2:14 onwards.

I would advise you to pray AND read your bible.
Maybe, just maybe you might learn something.



Peace to you.

DT,

It is important to recognize that we humans are finite beings trying to understand an infinite God.

At best we are like the 4 blind men feeling an elephant, each insisting they are right without realizing each of them is only partially correct.
Among Christians ourselves, we also have disagreements about which doctrines are right.

Having said that, how can we Christians be so insistent in our view point?

Simply stated, the view we take is not only from our prophets, which all religions have, but from the very Person of God in the form of man, Jesus Christ.

So, what if I am wrong?
Then, I am wrong la!

Why, you may ask, am I so willing to take this risk of being wrong?

Referring back to the story from the essay in your earlier post, does Christianity not present the most logical approach in the face of a plethora of religions each claiming to be the right way?

Consider this.
Every religion says "Do Good" and you will reach heaven.
Christianity says "Trust God and you will do Good, but it is the trust God that takes you to heaven.

If then in trusting God, I end up doing Good should I not still qualify for heaven under the rules of the other religions?
Whereas, the reverse is not true for the other religions because they fail in the "trust God" condition.

In fact, one of our prophets Isaiah states "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." Isaiah 64:6 NIV

I will go on to say that it is not only the logic aspect of it that convinces me that Jesus is the only way, I have had my fair share of personal encounters with God including occasions when I was delivered from death and injury because of the intervention of God.

I have experienced miraculous provisions when in need, obtained favor that cannot be logically explained away both big and small.

I have personally heard God's voice speaking to me, answering deep questions about the validity of my faith in Him to the point that if you were to place a gun to my head and say unless I deny my faith in Jesus you will shoot me, I will still not deny Him.

Am I an extremist?
If believing in Jesus and his teaching of "love The Lord, your God with all your heart, mind and soul. And. Love your neighbor as you love yourself, is extreme, then I guess I am. Yet we must note that there is no good law in the world that the teaching of Christ violates.

Another aspect of Christianity I wish to bring to your attention is that every real Christian experiences a personal relationship with Jesus. It is not an imaginary relationship but one that we actually sense His presence and "hear" His voice.
Granted it is not all the time, but it's often enough to keep us going in spite of all the opposition and difficulties we are facing.


Finally, the beauty of Christianity lies in the acknowledgement of Man's free will to choose his own destiny.

God in His mercy provided a way of salvation for man through the death of Jesus on the Cross. That sacrifice is sufficient to cover all the sins of every person on earth for all time.

Yet, as to not violate the free will of man, God leaves the choice of accepting this provision of forgiveness to every individual. He will not force it on us.

That to me is the ultimate evidence that this God I believe in is truly omnipotent.
He has no need of us, but He chooses to love us and care for us.

We can philosophize all we want but at the end of the day we have to face God ourselves after we pass on from this life. Only then will we know for certain the truth of our beliefs.

This post has been edited by yaokb: Jan 21 2015, 03:23 PM

You know what?

I was just frying "ngaku" while pondering about DE 1929.

Suddenly I recalled Paul's teaching that the body is made up of many parts, not all will be the eye, or ears.

Some will be like DE. They have a place in his plan.
If God can use a donkey, there should be no problem using DE, maybe as a sharpening iron on the rest of us.

It is also possible his ranting actually reach some of those reading here, who knows?

I almost laugh out loud!

Then God reprimanded me, who am I to call him a donkey?, so DE, I apologise, even if in my mind DE stands for Donkey Extraordinaire.

Who knows your reward in heaven is bigger than mine???

Kron_ka,

Stop thinking about what went wrong with your Ex.
Nothing you do now can change it.

Focus on moving forward.
The pain will be bad but you WILL SURVIVE and become stronger.

Did you call the number UW provided?
They can provide much more than we can here.

Good suggestion,
Kron_ka, go enjoy!

DE, be very careful........

Matt 12: 35-37
…35"The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. 36"But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. 37"For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."



No doubt there is more to the Word of God than just what is written in the Bible,

And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen. (‭John‬ ‭21‬:‭25‬ NKJV)

HOWEVER the word of God should not conflict what ever is taught in the Bible
If it does, then all we believe in is suspect.
I don't know if you truly dont't understand or you are just winding me up.

I feel sorry for you.

Anyway, I'm done giving you attention.

Since you really can't stop thinking about your ex, I might as well try help.

It is good that you already recognize some of the areas in your life that turn her off, eg insecurity, not totally honest, no chemistry.
Also now there is the problem of her new job overseas and it's very busy.

Before you fly nilly willy over there to see her, you prepare her so she is ready to see you, even if just as a friend.
No one likes to be unpleasantly surprised by an unwanted visit, especially from an ex.
She already says she is busy and have a demanding boss. Take note of it.

she says she has no chemistry with you.
What do you think she means?
Does it mean you don't excite her?
Gary Chapman in his book, the five languages of love describes the various ways one can show and receive love. Go get that book and read it, it may help you understand a little how you can express your love for her in a manner she can accept.

After knowing her for about a year, can you tell what she likes, what she dislikes?
Do you know what makes her happy?

If I were in your situation, this is how I will look at it.

1) is this the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?
2) I have already lost her, am I willing to do anything (within good taste) to try win her back?
3) if I fail to win her back, will I be content I have done all I can?

If the answer to all 3 is Yes, then I will set out my plan.

1) sit down and recall everything she likes.
2) recall everything she don't like
3) recall all the good things I have done for her and she show appreciation
4) recall all the bad thing I did and she dislike
Write down la.


Take note that the human mind has a natural negative bias according to neuropsychologist Paul Howard
People tend to remember the negative rather than the positive. For every negative action you have done, you probably have to do 10 positive actions to make up for it. Do you begin to see the magnitude of the task ahead?

If I am still in contact via text or what's app messages then it is easier. This is because she likes to read.

1) Start out by wishing her good morning every day. Via text. If the time difference too big you can wish her good day when u wake up in the morning.
It doesn't matter if she does not reply.
After couple of days,
Put nice inspirational pictures with your morning greeting. Some funny, some cute. Just vary it day to day.
Keep doing it and when she begins to wish you back, you can move to step 2.

2) Ask her about her day.
If she don't reply nevermind.

3) When she begins to respond and tell you her problems at work, tell her you pray for her. Of course pls do pray for her la. Can text prayer also so she see what you pray.

4) If she ask how was your day, tell her.
Don't be afraid to share your problems but be light on your feelings.
Remember step 1? Keep doing it.

5) if you remember her birthday, send her a gift. A book of course. (Gary chapman'so book? )

CNY is coming, is she coming back? If I have started the plan today, I have about a month. If she is coming back, I can offer to pick her up at air port. If she say yes, yahoo. If she say family picking her up , ask can visit her during CNY.

After CNY over, continue with the above when she has gone back to work.

The aim is to win her heart even from a distance.
You shouldn't worry if she has met someone else, based on your time of one year you have not been intimate, so the chances of her being intimate elsewhere is slim.

I wish you success.