I've been to Sydney Mohede Concert, Awesome too.

He's Indonesian in case ppl don't know.

Aww man, you mean I need to bring my own beer?
Nein problem. True that but jumping a lot makes me thirsty.

ALL breakups are heartbreaking, both for guys and girls.

It's because you put in all your emotions and vulnerability into it.

Let me tell you la brother, there's no such thing as perfect human being. When you give your all to a person it's like giving up your life to a flawed source of place to hang on.

What you see in the movie about lovey dovey couples are fakes. In real life relationship takes a lot of effort. Will have lots of quarreling, stress and stuff like that.
At the end of the day, is the effort and the determination to work out the relationship is what matter.

Both you and your GF probably don't know how hard is it to work out in a marriage. If at this stage already like this, my advise better don't go into life time commitment because the tendency then for breakup will be high.

That's why earlier I told you, you should give your all only to God because He is one who will never hurt you. Let him bring you the right need, rather than you go scavenging all over in the wrong places.

Yeah its kind of frustrating.

Do you think christian girls are more particular? because i never notice stringent requirements from my non christian dates.

My 1st ex, that time I used to be a young immature christian. While she was way more mature than me. I sometimes go bad mouth other people to her, so she wasn't very happy about that, because it shows my sinful self. She eventually broke up with me.

Then my recent ex, I was kind of impatient with her. She didn't reply me for 1 day, so i told her off that for me i will reply her even when i am driving, why can't she do that? And she could not stand my impatience. I guess I have to learn from this painful experience.

If you are ever with non christian it is a lust since you both don't think the jesus' feeling, you both think about your own ego

I will go if it is brandon heath concert.

Too Tired. lol. Work Work Work. Sigh.

Yes this is not CC, but we are talking about christian relationships, so for me, it counts as part of fellowship discussion.

Many christians yearn for relationship with one another. Sometimes we sacrifice our own relationship with God and not place him in the center. I am very guilty of that and I struggle over this sin. Its a good discussion.

I sometimes am tempted to go for non christians because they don't put boundaries and unreasonable expectations on me. Yah, like you I also not understand why christian girls are not open to dating guys at church.

Its very difficult to be balance when you are in a relationship. Thats why Paul suggest not to be in if you want to enjoy full relationship with God. Women are very complicated and unpredictable beings. Most christian men want to reason things logically through their brain power, so they always get it wrong with their own women most of the time. Even my cg leader, who is a respected businessman with 4 kids, almost underwent counselling and a potential divorce because of arguments with his wife, another devoted christian.

UW, i am not sure if you are married or single but if you have been in one, perhaps you can understand what I mean. No woman is without complication, they are always difficult to their men. We will swing out of balance for sure, important thing is know how to swing back, but the problem is, I don't know how to swing back. I struggle with this. I used to see sunny and dark skies, these days, even on a sunny day, I feel dark because I feel heart broken. In any relationship, one opens his heart to the girl, if its broken, one will feel the pain. Even Jesus felt the pain of rejection, when Peter denied him 3 times and ran away on the day he needed Peter the most. When the cock crow the 3rd time, Jesus turned his head and looked at Peter. Bible didn't say exactly how Jesus felt but I believed Jesus felt the pain. I have to admit, I struggle to response how Jesus responded when he was rejected. I struggle with this sin.

I texted to her and apologised to her. Her reply was that she struggled with my insecurities. She is very stressed up overseas and can't reply me on time. So my big fault because I told her if there is another guy also talking to her. So she felt the relationship has no trust and stress with me. Part of it also my fault. These are the lessons I need to learn to mature.

Other than that, she got a liking for me but the feelings are not strong enough, she's not confident the relationship would work. She doesn't want me fly over there to visit her, because she is afraid I may waste my money to visit her but I am taking my chances. I tell you, 100% of the time, you need to fight for the relationship or else it won't work. Its a real challenge for a christian to commit to other things and struggle to put God in center. Yes I wasn't able to strike chemistry partly because she is quite quiet and reserve personality. She doesn't open up to people very easily. Coupled with her struggles with her demanding boss at her newly promoted transfer job overseas. I felt anyhow, any other person would have struggled to produce chemistry with her because she's so quiet. But I got feelings for her, I think too long to write here.

Thanks for your prayer.

I have gone out with a non christian before I met my ex. I found the divide really huge. I am not saying I am a saint but me growing up with christian values, I just cannot find anything in common with a non christian, I suppose these are the draw backs.

The fact that bible says do not have unholy yoke with unbelievers (i don't know the exact verse), by marriage with one is already a sin. But I suppose dating is ok.

Thats what I been thinking, if "the one" comes along, I will make my move...seriously its been 10 years at church, I have not encountered this. My 1st ex, I encountered her at a supermarket, we were classmates at college, lost touch in 3 years due to working. My 3rd ex was recommended by a friend, because I went asking around. So I have never ever encountered any girl i like at church. I only encountered one lady that I didn't like, went harassing me all over the place. I have one flaw, I don't very easily like a girl. In my heart, the bar is set quite high, I need to have physical chemistry, or else, I cannot like a girl. Yah, I sound bias, because I ain't no handsome guy but its the way it is for me. I don't seek pretty girls, my 3rd ex is a but plum but I like her looks because she's adorable and sweet.

I did pray about it. I ask my frens, but they have advice me to forget about it.

But for me, its really telling myself at least I done all I could instead of given it up.

I want to look back and said to myself, I didn't give up, I tried my best.

I am not sure if i could go over there. Because she told me that she is unsure about me, she is afraid that i waste all my money going there to visit her, then she felt that I am not the one and call it off, wasted all my money.

Find girls at church also, they are very aloof one. I saw a lot of guys tried to go after them, but kena rejected. Then the girl bring a guy from outside to church, all the guys heart broken.

For me, best advice is what we think is best for us. I am glad I have some friends who are supportive and call me up to ask how I was doing. I am just giving a shot at trying to mend back with my ex. I dunno if it will work. I pray for the best, whether yes or no, I will come out stronger. I also pray for God to help make my life more exciting, mores stuff to do and I will eventually find the right girl, whether it is my ex or not.

Since you really can't stop thinking about your ex, I might as well try help.

It is good that you already recognize some of the areas in your life that turn her off, eg insecurity, not totally honest, no chemistry.
Also now there is the problem of her new job overseas and it's very busy.

Before you fly nilly willy over there to see her, you prepare her so she is ready to see you, even if just as a friend.
No one likes to be unpleasantly surprised by an unwanted visit, especially from an ex.
She already says she is busy and have a demanding boss. Take note of it.

she says she has no chemistry with you.
What do you think she means?
Does it mean you don't excite her?
Gary Chapman in his book, the five languages of love describes the various ways one can show and receive love. Go get that book and read it, it may help you understand a little how you can express your love for her in a manner she can accept.

After knowing her for about a year, can you tell what she likes, what she dislikes?
Do you know what makes her happy?

If I were in your situation, this is how I will look at it.

1) is this the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?
2) I have already lost her, am I willing to do anything (within good taste) to try win her back?
3) if I fail to win her back, will I be content I have done all I can?

If the answer to all 3 is Yes, then I will set out my plan.

1) sit down and recall everything she likes.
2) recall everything she don't like
3) recall all the good things I have done for her and she show appreciation
4) recall all the bad thing I did and she dislike
Write down la.
Take note that the human mind has a natural negative bias according to neuropsychologist Paul Howard
People tend to remember the negative rather than the positive. For every negative action you have done, you probably have to do 10 positive actions to make up for it. Do you begin to see the magnitude of the task ahead?

If I am still in contact via text or what's app messages then it is easier. This is because she likes to read.

1) Start out by wishing her good morning every day. Via text. If the time difference too big you can wish her good day when u wake up in the morning.
It doesn't matter if she does not reply.
After couple of days,
Put nice inspirational pictures with your morning greeting. Some funny, some cute. Just vary it day to day.
Keep doing it and when she begins to wish you back, you can move to step 2.

2) Ask her about her day.
If she don't reply nevermind.

3) When she begins to respond and tell you her problems at work, tell her you pray for her. Of course pls do pray for her la. Can text prayer also so she see what you pray.

4) If she ask how was your day, tell her.
Don't be afraid to share your problems but be light on your feelings.
Remember step 1? Keep doing it.

5) if you remember her birthday, send her a gift. A book of course. (Gary chapman'so book? )

CNY is coming, is she coming back? If I have started the plan today, I have about a month. If she is coming back, I can offer to pick her up at air port.  If she say yes, yahoo. If she say family picking her up , ask can visit her during CNY.

After CNY over, continue with the above when she has gone back to work.

The aim is to win her heart even from a distance.
You shouldn't worry if she has met someone else, based on your time of one year you have not been intimate, so the chances of her being intimate elsewhere is slim.

I wish you success.

Dankeschon.
Why must take her out to romantic place near your house? So that you can "score" with her?  JK dude.

Nah, I didn't go, I had a dinner date last night.

women like romantic things and we should be forever young dude 

Not so lucky guy coz I kicked him in the nuts.

You need to go out more and party like a Christian.

Wait, how a Christian party? 

Sorry bro, my heart a bit mellow tonight. I can't take loud music.

Birthday party is alright.

Clubbing is really worldly imo.

OIC.

Yes, we leave our past behind since we have embraced Christ's love.

Wow, it must have taken years of discipline to do what you do.

Well, I don't smoke but I still occasionally drink beer. 

Still trying dude...

I like this hymn.

Generally, don't really like dinosaur music.

I'm more into contemporary. 

Weird right? I don't really like social partying but I'm okay with modern mysic, you guys are ok with social parting but prefer old music.

What a weird world.

He's referring to modern contemporary Christian music.

Umm, right UW?



I like this song. Sorry, I know this is not Christian music.

I try to listen to all kind of music genre, ie, classical, pop, techno, slow rock, etc.

Its hard not to listen to Beatles, Bee Gees, Elvis, when my parents play them every single day...  

So you're into like.... P.Ramlee music ..

Who's P Ramlee?

Yeah my parents are awesome, so awesome that my dad have Taylor Swift song as his ringtone, while my mum ringtone is from Maroon 5. 

PRamlee must be a legend then. So what kind of movies does he do?

You mean this is P Ramlee?

Here's a dinosaur music era, the very first white boy rapper before eminem.

Sorry, they don't have HD camera back then.

What?! I thought Eminem was the first white rapper. 

Who's this poser Vanilla Ice? 

He sounds so corny.
OIC.

Okay...Last one..hahaha...

Life was full of shitty problems before you meet God. I wish I knew God earlier, but hey, at least I'm not too late.

I don't why I turned to God when I was feeling at the lowest ebb of my life, but I did.

There's nobody to turn to besides Him?

I was desperately seeking for answers for my own life problems.

On top of that, I got tons of unfinished work.

But now, I'm glad I did found God. I'm glad I stumbled upon this forum.

Thank you God for turning my life around.

You know. If only the journey to seek God is as exciting as the life of a curious archaeologist or an explorer (preferably space).

Yeap, reading the bible. But I sometimes feel like an injured animal still limping.

I am still in a state of shock. In just a matter of 2 weeks everything changed. No even an indication or early signs of what happened.