Hi guys,

I don't know if someone already posted about this, but I think I really need many opinions regarding this issue of mine.

I have dated my GF for more than 4 years already and decided to marry her next year. The main issue is money. I think that by June/July 2015, my saving can only reach RM5k. Actually I started to work since I was 23 years and now I am 27. I can say that I should actually able to save more than that. However, because life in Klang Valley is like an "ecstasy" to me, um, I mean the entertainment and other "money wasting" activities are hard to resist, so that is the reason I cannot save money. And one year ago, the fact that my mother is just 50-50 about accepting her, had also weakened my moral to marry my GF. Now still not 100% but I am confident that I can "pujuk" my mother.

When I think about my future, I am sure and definite that I want to marry my GF. All of my friends, which some of them just met his other half maybe less than 1 year but married earlier than me. I admit that I feel ashamed a bit but I know marriage is not about what people say, it is about we are ready or not.

So, with humble, I would like to ask your opinion should I marry next year? If I want to, then how about money? I have calculated that my new salary (I just got a new job) can only cover for less than RM200 if I want to borrow money. For my siblings and parents, I don't really want to borrow from them. Side income? Now is nothing. Still planning, but not started anything yet. Others, I have a car and my condo will be completed by May 2015.

Please help!

no money no marry
nt susahkan anak orang.

1st, marriage is not a race, there are no winner or loser on who marry first. I heard wedding is very expensive ( im not married yet ) the photoshoot alone cost more than 5k. If you wanna save cost, maybe can just go register and legally you are husband and wife. Those ceremony, kenduri, photoshoot is not compulsory, but everyone sure will nag and ask you why....

Girl got money?

IF girl got_money=no problem
ELSE
find_girl_with_money
ENDIF

How much is your salary? Range? 3k+ 4k+ etc.
'Hard to resist' doesn't mean can't resist. You have to control your self, whenever you are going to spend on some none-compulsory thing, remind yourself, what is the thing matter most to you. A happy wife or the temporary 'ecstasy entertainment'?
I started working at 23 too, 26 now and I'm having near 50k funds including my saving plan, investment etc. I able to do so simply because I'm determined enough to understand what i really seek for in the future. Not to show-off, just to let you know, u need have a clear picture in your mind of what future u wanted so u could be determined enough to resist all the unnecessary fancy entertainment spent.

i started to work 18 months ago. during this time, i save a lot of my money for my future. now i have savings around 40k not including my asb. but then, i still sayang my money to spend it for marry. haha

I will advise that don't get to rush to marry... I started work at 23 also and I saved rm50k also n occassionally I did bring my gf go for travel as it was her wish... Married is not cheap just photo shoot I spend also nearly rm10k but she liked it so no choice... Dinner can cost more than rm30k so think twice and marriage not a race... Some of my frenz married and have children already....

it actually depends on you can convince your family and your woman's family to accept who you are.

I'm married with debts around my neck and only have 4k in saving.

so only nearest family, no professional photographer, no pelamin and stuff. just straight come and eat kind of event.

5k I gave to my wife, and tighten the belt for around 800 for my own event. gotong-royong kind of stuff, old school style to backup catering for only 2 types of dishes.

total cost about 5800.

so you have to live moderate life, no showy stuff (fancy cars etc) that will rob more money from your pocket.

This post has been edited by malayo: Oct 30 2014, 07:51 AM

You have money to feed yourself, she has money to feed herself, why when you 2 come together suddenly don't have enough to feed both of you ?
Getting married cost less than RM50 inclusive of the commission of oath signature, you only need 2 witness (any 18 years old will do).

i sign my paper and only after 2 years later i did my wedding photo and dinner stuff ...

Wedding dinner is not a marriage, you are not marrying her parent nor are her marrying your parent. This is all irrelevant stuff.
Anyone acceptance/objection do not make your marriage success/failure, its just the both of you.

Any reason your mum just 50-50 accepting her?

no money no talk bro... i suggest put a ring on it first since u are sure she is the one (girls get nervous when they reaching 30), then save up to marry her and have a small ceremony ( every girl dream to have a wedding, if u really love this girl make her dream come true even if its just a small dream).

I cant imagine you have worked more than 3years but your saving only 5K.
It's ridiculous ..... with 5K you hope to have a proper wedding , i bet not really easy.
Even a simple engagement ring(without diamond) ady few hundreds, a pair of wedding rings around 1k (cheapest, lightest, 916 gold), still talk about wedding photo shooting, it would at least cost 3K. If want to have simple buffet as wedding, also nit to have some budget, including your fiancee's gown , your coat suit and hair styling etc.

The truth is always cruel, no money no talk.
Either you borrow money from parents, take personal loan ( but i think your financial planning is in super serious problem, so it's bad idea to loan from bank, you might apply for bankruptcy very soon) , or you save up slowly.

And why does your parents disagree you both to marry? There're must be some problems, solve them before you get married. Or else, everything will turn into complicated case once you have married. Think twice, before both of you sign on the registration form.

Every gals also dream to have a nice wedding event, although it's a simple one but it can be meaningful. But too bad, within 5K, nothing much you can do, as I said, everything are related to money.

depend on ur gf la actually,
if she can, just normal ROM sign paper, no need huge dinner, just family dinner settle,

but i think all girl dream to wear wedding gown so photo must take lo ( which cost about 2-4k estimate u need to prepare)

and how about hantaran ( chinese or malay also need to gip money to girl parent ma). u at least need to prepare lo.

and last.. what u wanna do after marry? do u have house? rent a house? ( u need to calculate everything la)

ur waifu must help u.. if u think she cant then susah liau

This post has been edited by yahiko: Oct 30 2014, 04:40 PM

Thank you my friends for the opinion. Below, I elaborate further...

My GF is from Sabah, so my mom just afraid of two things. One is my GF culture and practices maybe some of it not aligned with our religion (actually my family and GF family are all in same religion). Secondly, she afraid that I will only follow my GF and focus on GF family only and soon forgets her. However I managed to convince my mom that this won't be happening. But the last time I spoke to her, I can still feel a bit about this "trauma" of my mother. So I can conclude that she is just not completely accepting her yet.

My new salary would be 4k only. I already brought a condo that will finish its construction in May 2015. Got to pay RM1250 for that soon. Also RM600 for car. Not to forget the education loan, investment, utilities, internet, phone, allowance for mother, settle credit card, petrol, grocery and balance for lunch/dinner for a month. Before this, I always enjoy my life without thinking to save money. And now I regret it. Deep in my heart I just wish I can turn back the clock. But I know I can't and that is why I predicted that I can achieve a saving of 5k only by mid of 2015.

Suggestion from you guys to just sign the paper and do the wedding dinner later also had been considered by us. But because in our tradition, it is heavily required us to do the wedding and dinner altogether. We are in headache thinking about this...

As I grow older, I can say that 96% of my friends are currently already married. So, during weekend most of them are very difficult to hang out. As I don’t know who else to be with, so I go to my GF. Then I think that if I always going out with her like that, it is better for me to marry her straight away. In addition, I will not be alone and bored anymore. Furthermore, actually during 2nd year with her, I already promised to marry her. But it didn’t happen. Then in 3rd year I promised again. Didn’t happen as well. Now we are just entering 5th year. So how? I know that I was stupid to promise her like that. But the pressure continues.

In conclusion why I want to get married is I am living alone and looking for someone to take care of me and someone for me to take care. I am ready emotionally but financially still not there yet.

This post has been edited by violet_slayer: Oct 30 2014, 11:57 PM

Okay, you know u have a problem which is 'you spend money on unnecessary activities". To be straight to the point, I hope your activities do not include vice activities.

so do something about it, stop such activities.

Marriage is not just about marrying someone - there are commitments to be made.

Can u afford your monthly loan instalments
Can u afford to have kids

Having Cash reserves is important once the kid comes along.

As to whether u should marry, it depends on whether u love your GF and want to spend the rest of your life with her.

You seem to want to do so - the next step is to organise your finances

Please visit AKPK website for some tips

seems like u r not just financially not ready, but other things are not ready as well (family, your mindset...).

This post has been edited by PeowYong: Oct 31 2014, 10:33 AM

Then no need to have a wedding dinner, just sign and you're married technically. The 5k for a photoshoot and a simple dinner with all the relatives.

The problem will alwyas be the girl side whether she can accept this. If she loves you she will accept it, if not too bad.

If you have been with her for 4 years and find her suitable then marry her quickly.


I have friends who drag too long and the girl run away with another boyfriend ! Do you want this to happen?


I have friends who waited until 40 yo because they don't have money like you to marry. Now no young girls want to marry him. Do you want this to happen to you ?


Financial problem can be controlled by cooking at home. Husband and wife work together sure no problem.

Just make the wedding simple , don't have to invite so many people.

You're getting married and not your mother.

This post has been edited by jalsrix: Oct 31 2014, 11:19 AM

Marry someone doesn't mean you need to buy house. I've many friends who bought their first house only after 35 years old.

of course, myself also bought house at late age but TS says he got Car and new House going to be ready soon, so I assume he will want to stay there instead of renting out.

So important to be able to afford the loan payments

So many advise which is constructive.

At the end of the day, due to limited saving, TS will need to learn to compromise.

If you do fancy stuff and taking personal loan for it, the loan interest at 8% per annual will be a extra burden for you for years to come.

My advise is to ask your gf opinion and come clean with your situation to her. If she understand and still want to get marry, then lucky you. if she look down on your because of this and leave you, also lucky you.

In the end, you win.

If you can buy a house, you're not considered poor.

Worse come to worse, sell off the house and stay with parents.

I think TS expects a rich man life, just like that Singaporean movie 'money not enough'

Agree, as they said "ukur baju badan sendiri"...

Sign it and consider married...
Remember, do not take loan for married.
Married, you will have heavy burden already, do not add more burden to your self.

i also just sign the paper and go honeymoon+photo taking only.

Few thing that can reduce the cost of wedding,
1. Buy the wedding gown at China, just cost around USD120 to 150 including fedex shipment. The gown is custom made to the body size.

2. For prewedding photo, find those friend who like to take photographer. Do the job.

firstly, cut your bad spending habits! if you continue, you will get into more trouble in future with or without a wife

then only get married when you are both really ready. not just because your dd dont like to wear the rubber or because you have been together for xx years. fyi, i dated my wife for 9 yrs.

as for the house, I've sell it off and rent a cheaper place instead for a start. if you cant effort the installment dont hang on to it and get yourself in trouble.

and lastly, marriage is between you 2. you care how long your friends have married or how many kids they have, this is not a competition and there is no prize for the winner.

is you decided to proceed on getting wed, then both sit down together and plan what is affordable.

TS, u can register 1st, photograph and dinner can come later. But u need to compromise with your gf and her family 1st. I knew a girl who register 1st and host her 2-3 years later. IMO, dont go for loan. Else more burden will come after u get marry. 4k is decent earning, but u have installment for car and house, after epf deduction, roughly 1.7k left. Try your best to save at-least 700 - 1k a month. If u plan well, u can cover back your dinner in KL with angpao money. And your gf is from Sabah, so hosting a wedding dinner there would be much more cheaper. Register 1st, dinner after 1.5-2years later. With RM700 -1k per month shud have no problem. Another tips, don't SPEND ALL your bonus. I understand people like to reward their self after working hard for a year, but please do save half of your bonus up, it help a lot. Compromise with your gf, tell her what's in your mind, at-least let her know that why you are cutting down activity budget for.

This post has been edited by ragk: Oct 31 2014, 05:08 PM

Dear friends,

After reading all of your advise, I think I should talk to my GF and my mom about signing the paper first. And I think it also more wiser not to take loan at this moment. Maybe when ready, will do the ceremony. Yes, I agree marriage is between me and my GF and not the other people. But I guess I am gonna start a BIG argument with my mom..

Regarding the house, both of us are thinking to live there after married. Other than new, the location is also excellent and near to my work place. Perhaps after we can own a landed house, that condo will be up for rent/sale. I know it will be hard for me to live soon. Not to mention if we are having kids. But we also feel really want to "smell" a new house for once. So it would be really hard for us to let go and rent cheaper house elsewhere.

Actually after thinking a lot, before this, my life is "live easy life first, let the difficulties come later". So I am going to change that now reversely, to live hard first and happy comes later. Yes I regret my life before. But there is still one small problem.. how to completely change? How to get discipline every day? Do you guys have some specific ways?

p/s: By the way who is TS??


You are really motivating me to marry her now man!


Hmmm.. maybe you forgot to mention the cost of flights to Sabah. Let say from my family (who needed to be there and who also want to be there) that I have to sponsor is 5 pax. Including the accommodation, my GF and I counted, it would be almost RM4k already. And my GF told me that to host the dinner, it should take RM6k++. So total up everything, wedding dinner in Sabah could be more than RM10k... But it is ok, I take your advise about the salary bonus. In my head right now is I want to save, save and save.

why not try to get a few empty jars and start putting money into them. let say u start with 3 jars. label first jar as credit card, second as marriage savings and third as study loan. everyday put some money say RM2 in them and let it grow. this method will provide u a start somewhere.

discipline is hard. i don't know what temptation of activities u r into but u can try to do this way. every time u wanna indulge in ur WANTED activity, say, hang out in a cafe n buy a cake n coffee that cost u rm 20, take that amount of money and put it into ur jar or an account. at the end of the month, see how much u spend unnecessarily. distract urself from spending.

investing in unit trust is also a good method to maximise ur savings but if u wanna marry... it's too late to invest for such purpose... for now, try to invest for ur retirement la n ur wife la. make sure that u have personal health insurance.

can u also ask ur gf to help pay for the wedding bill? split into half? or she pay the least stuff?

u can try working part time or freelance too. just don't enter those skim cepat kaya...

all the best.

Maybe you need to split the wedding expenses into half or some portion, which is paid by your gf.
For example, hair styling for herself & her mom/sis, bride maids ang pau .... etc.....
Or she help to pay your housing loan so that you can save more for the wedding(but make sure you will marry her, if not , it doesn't make sense if she pay the housing loan without her name in SPA or "touch wood" break up b4 ROM)

wow! what job u have do bro??hahahaha

Be frugal and you might be able to save rm5k per year rather than just a bit over 1k.

I seldom heard of people seriously plan to marry but ignorant on the saving part.

We're much older than you so we've lots of experience and mistakes.

A lot of my friends regret delaying marriage, now they are more than 50 years old and still single.


Marry her !

Marry can be cheap just depend on how you wanted to have your wedding. I have friend that dare not say out to girl they like then now they still single even they already 30plus ald...

1) buy a cincin and propose first.
2) shoot wedding photos.
2) next register marriage.
4) last only wedding dinner (can delay to next year).


just my 2 cents.

This post has been edited by ronron: Nov 4 2014, 11:55 AM

Well, marriage can be expensive or inexpensive. What you really need to do is some planning and a bride that is willing to accept your financial situation.

What you actually need is just a room for you two, with new furnitures. Money for photoshot and simple wedding ring. Also need to set some aside for dowry. If you can do it the simplest way, then its not going to be expensive at all.

As for dinner, you can actually find a reasonably priced restaurant, instead of spending lavishly. Most of the time, if you keep it within affordable range, the angpao will mostly cover it without much problem.

Personally I spent around 20K for all these, and as for dinner, its all on my dad as he's the one who wanna invite his huge friends' list and also clients. As for me, I only invite 10 of my very best friends and make a table.

I knew some people who can spent 3K per table for dinner. Personally I dont really know why people nowadays wanna invite everyone they knew. I think you need to take into account how much angpao you can get for each table to ensure that you dont overspent.

Seriously, why would you do that?

Work out that marriage agreement first before signing the paper. Get everyone to agree on the terms, or otherwise if anything goes wrong, you will be in a big trouble. Dont rush into rash decisions.

1) every month put 50% of your salary for fixed deposit, then spend the remaining salary like usual.

2) buy a property that you can afford, say rm1000 installment. it's like a forced saving. you can sell off the property when you need money. usually a good property somehow will earn a bit.

Communication is key to any marriage; you have to start early with it.

Talk and plan with your gf. And all these conceptions about "time"/"age"/"length of relationship" is just in your head/peer pressure. At the end of the day; only you guys will live your lives, not anyone else.

I only married my gf after being together for 8 years; but we agreed with our timelines due to our differing circumstances. When we started planning for the wedding; I decided that based on our plans, we would need at least RM30k for the wedding's cost. However, as I had about 2 years to budget, it was easier for me to save for it. So every month I saved a reasonable amount (sometimes more, sometimes less) and put it into a FD account that could not be touched (this was under her name and care as proof of my commitment).

Along the way, we looked into alternatives for all the items we would need for the wedding. We got a great deal for my wife's wedding gown (RM1k for a quality gown); decided the themes of the wedding early so we could buy all the props early (spent about 3-4k on this). The benefit of doing all this early - as I had gotten used to saving for that 30k budget, I bought these items WITHOUT touching the 30k wedding budget. The same repeated itself when the dates got nearer; I somehow managed to buy the rings (about 3k++ for all 3 rings, was lucky - the diamond stones were a family gift), photographer (3k++), angpows (can't remember), and etc. costs WITHOUT again touching the 30k wedding budget.

Also because we planned carefully; we chose a wedding dinner that was (at my calculation) very affordable (about RM700 per table) but at the same time; not appearing to be "cheap". We were lucky that the angpow collection from the wedding dinner covered the entire cost of the dinner; plus minus abit here and there.

So; now we were left with a 30k surplus that became our honeymoon budget instead (we had no plans for honeymoon as we were relocating and $$$ was very tight still). Also; our $$$ gifts from our families were put into some investment funds as well (to be used as the kids' future study funds). As I had been used to saving $$$ by now; I just allocated $$$ from each month (that was to go to the previously-wedding budget) into a new fund for the honeymoon. In the end, we went for the honeymoon trip (that was more like a backpacking trip) without touching the honeymoon budget. So; the 30k now ended up as our 2nd honeymoon budget/kids budget.

Sorry for the long-winded post. My point is this; start early and with a focused goal and a clear target. Then devote yourself to it with the right mindset and discipline. Make the hard decisions/costs EARLY and do not POSTPONE your $$$-decisions (especially by taking loans). It'll be scary and daunting (all change is at the beginning); but if you're FOCUSED, you'll get used to it.

Good luck.

This post has been edited by glozz: Nov 4 2014, 04:59 PM

It's important that you get a stable income flow first before you decide to take up a bigger responsibility which is after marriage.

Based on your story, I would recommend to stay off the plan to get married first as I foresee financial burden ahead. Don't just because of face value that you get urself into more trouble. Do what you have within your means at the moment.

5k mau kahwin...
sudah lah.

6 years ago im married only use 6k for all.heehh.

just fresh grad engineer. every month save around rm1k-1.5k. no enjoy. very sayang money haha

Single or got girlfriend? If it's the latter, mad respect.

This post has been edited by S_SienZ: Nov 6 2014, 12:15 AM

Don't go for loan. Temptations, you know that it's hard to resist but you still can resist it. Self-control. Like what others had mentioned, would you want your spouse/kids to suffer later or you just have to control yourself now for a better future?

Better get your priorities straight before deciding to marry and build a family with the girl. If you can't do it, your new family including the kids that you might have later would suffer.

HAHA ... no enjoy ha..i push every month to saving 1k per mont..plus enjoy sikit2 la.hahahah

You dont try to spend the money which you think you are going to get.
Money doesn't always work as what you have expected.
Plan with what you have at this moment, not with what you are going to have in the future.

Even in a small town, if you do it chinese style, you need to have at least 10k ~ 12k in total for everything.
In big cities, be prepared to fork out more.

This post has been edited by kons: Nov 6 2014, 06:58 PM

My suggestion is talk to your gf about your current financial status. Communication is the keys to marriage. Do not take it all your own. Prior to R.O.M, at least you need RM1-2K (maybe less, I saw Poh Kong sell nice diamond ring less than RM2K for couple) to buy engagement ring and then fix a date (perhaps 6 months from your proposal date) followed by wedding dinner date (2years after??, discuss again with your spouse about this). I guess, 2 years after will be just nice as you will have ample of time to prepare for your marriage.

Sorry guys for late reply. I was in hometown for 1 week. No internet access. Btw, your advise is really useful to me, especially about how to save the money.

On the other hand, I already spoke to my GF regarding to sign the paper first. But she really want the wedding dinner altogether. The reason is she is the eldest in her siblings and want avoid some sort of disrespect to elders/parents in her tradition. So now I guess we need to proceed with this plan. Regarding the expenses, only after married she told me to help with the house loan repayment. For now she also has no saving at all to support the wedding!!

Maybe one of the bright news for me right now is that my mom is finally willing to welcome her in our family. Just awaiting to discuss the next stage. But she also concern that I don't have savings. Aiyaa..

Recently one of my best friend is married. He advised me to start prepare this year as the price of ring and the rest will be more expensive next year. Then later when GST come, much more expensive. Matila. So in conclusion, my BIGGEST enemy right now is MONEY.

If you have a steady job, it is still not the end of the world yet.
Swipe the whole amount into your cc and do balance transfer for 12 month or longer period repayment?
If all else fails, I have seen couples taking personal loan for doing a wedding dinner.

Money is NEVER your enemy.
When you look past all that, it is merely just a tool.

Thank you kons. It was a brilliant advise.

Congratulation Violet Slayer..
Yes, gold price is increasing (approx. 20%).. I remembered the solitaire ring (D&P) price I bought less than a year was now 20% expensive (with almost same 4Cs spec).. Better buy it and you can opt to pay instalment with zero interest for 6months or 12months.
This is out of topic, I saw you in Aker Solution forum.. you now in O&G industry?

its is better to work out finances before getting married as it is a hugh commitment

Marry her and manage as you go by. A lot of things can get sorted if you both willing to compromise sensibly.

Hurmm..thus I should buy it now isn't. I will try to work out on this. Maybe will buy or no.

Oh really? It was a long time ago.. actually I just 3 days working in a new company now. As for now my role focusing not in O&G. But future may have. My current company business is diverse (as it is a worldwide company).



Yes. True enough.



It will be challenging. But this is the option I think the best right now.

Bro, nothing is impossible.

I also had major worry about finances. That time tunang, I thought maybe still got at least a year to save and prepare. but relatives on both sides pushed for fast wedding 4 months later! So even with about 1k savings monthly, still had to korek here and there for extra funds.

my wife from sabah too. there can find pair of gold rings for under rm800. also we did kenduri in kampung so jimat a lot since org kg gotong royong and saudara bantu here and there like sponsor wedding cake, etc. this is where communication and social skills play a big role. if you manage to get on everyone's good side and people like you, you will start seeing favours come. even if not immediately, at least with more guests chances are more angpow that can cover some costs like sewa penginapan and transport or for honeymoon. make an effort to build positive relationships even if you are not the kind or feel shy. trust me.

some ways of korek-ing for money:
1. sell any unnecessary possessions on LYN, Mudah, etc. identify things that take up space or simply not used. We sold unused or under-utilised mattress, laptop, table lamp, mini bar, table fan, handheld massager, portable car seat massager, dumbbells, extra vacuum cleaner. of course, be prudent but a little goes a long way.

2. Find cheap photo studio or ask friend or family who are photographers to help. Jalan ipoh got a lot cheap photo studio package comes with album, photo frame, wedding gown/suit rental. We paid only rm1500 coz got promotion. Results not bad also.

To change habits is difficult, but not impossible. If u are a smoker or drinker, quit. I did so and started focusing on fitness. Every free time, go to taman for jogging and other exercise routine, maybe swimming/cycling if you like. First thing is it's FREE and importantly get yourself focused away from negative lifestyle plus get you in shape for the wedding. i read somewhere that it takes about 21 days to a month to make or break a habit.

Regarding finances, if your gf is prudent with money, let her handle it. I passed some financial decisions and money to her as she's better at managing money while I focused on finding other avenues to find money or focus on work when i had to. Cook and eat at home. If can't cook or lazy, learn and stop being lazy. Mind over matter. Exercise frugality and best way is to avoid temptation like go window shopping or browsing internet for happening events and gadgets. my spending at one time was quite bad also, but now I only go to the shops when i have to.

lastly, if you are a person who believes in God, then don't stop your prayers and hoping. you can do it. BELIEVE but also be WISE by taking ACTION.

This post has been edited by PrideNeverDie: Nov 12 2014, 08:38 PM

In what company now Bro Slayer?

Suggest you to consider drag the wedding plan to 2 yrs and discuss with your gf to both start working together to save for the event. You are just 27yrs old, right? Not too late to save for few more years to gain financial stability to build a family.

Work out a monthly expense budget plan. And strictly following it. Avoid using credit card if you cannot monitor your bills properly. Reduce going out, if possible eat in during weekend. Bring her home to eat with your family. Save, save, save.

As for the wedding, be as simple as possible.
- no fancy ring, go for simple gold that carries value. Since $ is tight, gold can be recycle when your finger size "grow" after become aunty/uncle.
- no need wedding photo. Just take some memorable nice pictures during the event itself. Studio photos is too fake. I had mine because my mil wanted it (but on our own expense).. now the album hide deep inside my drawer, untouch.
- normal chinese wedding dinner usually can be balance by angpao. During my time, I didn't hold the reception putting upfront that we don't want to have the dinner and told both parents they can do the reception themselves, if they insist. So, both side parents did organise the wedding dinner, and they took the angpao and pay for the restaurant. The bride & groom only be the puppet and be there to let them hold the wedding dinner. The only unfortunate thing is that my hubby parents have a lost over the wedding dinner due to they invite the whole kampung and asking us to pay for the balance.

- talk to your gf to discuss the $ hantaran.. ask her reduce as much as possible.. if cannot.. you can only drag the wedding even further.

I had to admit your idea is the best so far. Not only you are recommending places but also activities that save money! And yes, as for now, I already reduced 30% of bad spending habits since mid this year. Thank you as well for the tips of "21 days". I think I should try it! Lastly, you are right, I need to continue my prayers. Hopefully when the time is right, my GF and I can get married.

I don't really want to mention the name here. But it is a US-based company and located in Shah Alam. Why? Are you searching for a job?

Hi, thanks there for the advice. But I think we both can't wait for too long..

~ keep the guest list small

~ cut the bridal party - as a UK bride,the attendants attire falls on you to pay for (unless they don't mind paying for their own - in which case,keep the cost of the outfits to 100 or less)

~ make your own wedding stationary.google wedding invites for inspiration.keep them simple,avoid bulk adding embellishments such as bows and do your RSVPs by phone/e-mail so you don't have to pay return postage

~ skip the photographer if it just isn't in the budget - don't go with a cheaper photographer,you will end up burned.instead,ask your friends to take pictures (most people have digital cameras these days)

~ buy some plain,white iced sponges/fruitcakes from a supermarket and decorate with fresh flowers/buckles and ribbons/a topper and save a couple of hundred on your cake

~ a buffet may be cheaper than a sit down meal

~ skip the favours - nobody will notice you don't have them

~ cut the alcohol or serve another sparkling wine instead of champagne (nobody will notice).add elderflower cordial to make it go a bit further.cash bar is fine in the UK

~ swap skills for gifts - know anyone with a nice car?see if they will drive you,or your grandmother could make your cake and your hairdresser friend can do your hair

~ buy flowers in season and wholesale and make your own bouts and bouquets - plenty of masterclasses on line

~ buy your cheap wedding dresses from a sample sale,from a former bride or a wedding fayre.check out the cheaper designers and hit the high street - stores like BHS,coast and debenhams have some beautiful dresses that wont cost the earth.same goes for future hubby - he can rent a suit or buy a decent one on sale.george and matalan have some great suits for under 50

Getting married now these days very hard. me also want to get married but financial not stable yet.

want to get new home to married also cant as bank only give out 70% loan that i need fork out other 200K. How in the world KL people can fork out RM200k cash as down payment.

Me and my GF dating for 10 years already. very sad.

Bank allow only 70% loan because this is your 3rd property..

same situation also...
every months money fly....

why 70% loan?...

high commitment?

many ppl nowadays married without buying a house... all stay at parent house... 2 frens of mine married like that this year.

Do with you have and live with it

I think you have bigger issues in your life man. I read bit and pieces of your post. One of them said that you mind as well marry her because your friends are married and you have nobody else to hang out with but her?? Seriously???

On a really serious note. get your act together even before marrying her. You have car and housing loans coming up. I thought you were servicing your loan already, which was why you only have 5k which is actually okie but it seems like you were wasting your life away. What are you gonna do when you get the keys to your house? Reno?? With 5k?? You can barely get a couch with that. Don't drag her along in this if you can't straighten yourself out first.......

Yes, having enough money to start your life together is important. If your savings are 5k then thats what it is and you have to work with that and consider if you really need a fancy or costly wedding? Getting married is after all signing a paper and committing to each other in that way. The answer to this also depends on your GF and her expectations, what you both want out of your lives and whether you are both willing to work hard to make it together. I wish you well.

Hi,

Understand that your situation. Is really a hard if because of the financial issue. So many Malaysia are facing the same!!
but maybe you can come to our wedding fair to understand more detail? let the professional to advice from your budget as well.

beside, you may try to join our Contest to win a Designer wedding gown worth RM5880, not only that, you may also Win the other exclusive Prizes such as Staying in 4-5 star hotel with your loved one or buffet dinner at 4-5 star hotel as well. then you may can have a sweet time to proposed with you loved one!! issit good idea? but of course, you may need the LUCK!!! hehe

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see you there!! cheers

I believe it's possible ! Who says wedding you need a real gold or diamond ring? Who says you need to make wedding such an extravagant expensive thing? Who says you need to buy or rent expensive gowns or hold a crazy big party of celebration ? It's the market and society nowadays that label and make wedding such an expensive thing. Well, if you have a women that really loves you and wouldn't mind a light budget wedding, it would be possible ! Marriage is about love and commitment. Not about money. Think about those olden days how they get married. You don't need to follow the society's trend, you create your own as long you both are happy. =)

My 2 cents here as a husband and a father ....

* sit down with her and work out your wife-and-husband life journey (what both of you plan to do, work, income, holidays, kids, etc etc etc).

* forecast your $ needs (house, car, holidays, kids, etc) and see if you have enough. Adjust if possible to suit. Need both parties to agree on the sacrifices. Write these down and keep it.

* need money for the marriage life. BUT that is only a part of a happy, successful, rewarding, peaceful, satisfying marriage. Answer these 2 questions - why do you want to get married now? Why do you think she will fill that void in your life?

* similar character, likes and dislikes? Don't expect her to change to your way after marriage. Small differences which both of you can accommodate now as BF & GF but the same small differences can ignite arguments in marriage life!

All the best to your new life chapter!

Marriage definitely needs money. And it needs 2 hands to clap. Your other half needs to fork out as well

Exactly.....

I know a couple who just did their ROM with Swaroski Chrystal Ring, and have a nice lunch after that with both parents, family and friends. Tea ceremony on the spot and be happy with it. Total cost. almost RM0 not including the dowry. But with proper understanding and discussion, everything is discuss able. They are not selling their daughter for God's sake.

Most of the friends and family knowing that this couple is not that wealthy but have a heart to commit to each other, the friends and family are simply to generous on their ang pow and gifts.

The key is BUDGETING BUDGETING BUDGETING......... A Grand Gring Grong wedding will not promise you a good and healthy marriage.

You think a wedding will nuke your wallet. Wait till you have babies.......

But that is just the nature of life.... Life goes on......

As a bride,wedding dresses is necessary.
A wedding with few money,you can save at all aspect,e.g wedding dresses ,wedding accessories.use the least money,hold the perfect effect.

if she expects fancy dinner and wedding ceremony, u can totally forget about it
otherwise, just register to secure and ceremony can be much later

If you are not 100% certain, don't get married. Divorces are hard on everyone.

That simple?

Woah so nice..

ur gf how old? 27 consider young marry, wait 3 more years, when you prepare enough money then marry lar, ask her wait lar...

Nice for man. But the ladies might not like it.

For women 27 is perfectly good timing. Infact if better can get married earlier especially if planni.g to have more kids. The elder a women gets, the higher the risk of a complication in pregnancy.

Cheers.

i bet most of ladies will oppose it. sometimes the opposition didnt come from your wife, but from ur mom or aunties lol

money management skill is the problem

busted lol.

What's the hurry? unless you want kids.. but then there are many unwanted children in the world, you can always adopt.

Just do what you can afford. After married life need more money. Think for the future. Do not waste a lot of money at the weding day.

I think kids are on the way, that's why they can't wait too long.

Will true love give them the courage to battle all things evil that comes their way?

Basically you need to change your lifestyle. If you can't change, you will go to no where.

yes, definately correct.
against all odds, hopefully we can get marry by this year.
our family going to set a date soon.

Good luck to you

I think to be more practical you need to think ahead of the finances... new house needs renovation, that will have cost too.

My best advice, you need to be honest with your future wife about the finance and what to do moving forward : the house, furnitures, wedding preps, so that both of you will make the most and happy about the process. If not done well, it's not gonna be smooth post day 1 of marriage.

I just recently got married after being with her 7 years. Things shouldnt be in a rush especially if you are cash tight. You should think carefully what's best. Delaying another 12 months to get finances in order is not a bad thing to do either.

so getting married soon? yeah!! congrats

Hi friend, i will be getting married next month, let me share some of my experience.
I'm also 27 this year.
Before this as a normal income guy i knew that marriage is not easy but , it is much more tougher than expected. I'm a chinese. So before even talking of marriage we need to prepare 3 things, house, car and cash for wedding.
I invest in 1 2nd hand small house when i was 22( just graduated) and i sold it then i bought a new bigger house. Its was all good.
Until I start paying the loan for car and new house which decrease my savings, i face so much stress, house renovation cost me so much that i even need to borrow from my family.
We talk bout wedding dinner, u want live band..add money..you want flowers..add money..that add..this add...and the best thing they will tell you is...its once in a life time, dont you want your bride to have a beautiful wedding? ok...they win....

So what i advice is please please be prepared financially, even if you dont have, make sure you have some alternative way for emergency. Marriage is not easy for our generation. Once you step into a marriage life, you need to take big responsibilities for your wife and kids future because you are the man of the family.

Congrats to you and may you have a great marriage