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 Dating your friend's ex

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TSshyey
post May 21 2014, 07:05 PM, updated 5y ago

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Me;
Single, never ever been into any r/s.
Been having a really damn long crush with a girl i know about her since we're been in the same kindergarten, secondary & uni institution.

Story;
A friend of mine, my housemate also, was into a r/s with her for about 2 - 3 years, and they have broke up a year ago.

Well, it's been a year already. And i still have the same feelings for her. It's been 18 years already.

I already once told to our female friend about my secret crush. She didn't expect about my little secret, so i guess i'm good at hiding my crush to all my friends. Our female friend told me my crush still have this little light of feelings about him. I was taken aback what she said about it.

I still meet my crush during our lunch hours at the uni cafe', we also in the same couple of class. We talked, we meet, we smile and greet to each other every time we get to meet at the campus.

Sometimes she send me confusing signals, like smile and greet not the normal kinds... like a whisper from 1m distance kinda thingy, which i seldom do it to other girls.
Or when we're sitting with our friends during lunch hours, saw her take a quick glance at me. When i caught her, she tried to look away but she knows that i saw it.
Or we sat at different tables with our friends and we smile at each other randomly, which i never do it with other girls as well.

I'll finish my studies in a year while she still have 2 more years to go.

Still having doubts whether to approach her or not.

I heard there's a saying 'you should never date your best friend's ex'
Should i muster up my courage? Should i have a talk with my friend first?

Any advice from the ladies or gents?
Anyone had the same situation?

This post has been edited by shyey: May 21 2014, 07:06 PM
dav3
post May 21 2014, 07:11 PM

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Why not just try to approach her and confess to her directly?
At least you know the answer.

Just my opinion
zheng88
post May 21 2014, 07:12 PM

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Just go out with her and find out if she is worth it, nothing ventured nothing gained
elimi8z
post May 21 2014, 09:01 PM

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Dude,the least you can do is have a closure for yourself,18 years,how many more 18 years you have?
TSshyey
post May 21 2014, 09:06 PM

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Thanks all.
But what about the guy? Should i go talk to him first?

All this years, i've been rejecting to girl's confessions be it directly or indirectly. I always gave them 'i'm with someone' answer, in fact i'm not.

This post has been edited by shyey: May 21 2014, 09:08 PM
elimi8z
post May 21 2014, 10:13 PM

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QUOTE(shyey @ May 21 2014, 09:06 PM)
Thanks all.
But what about the guy? Should i go talk to him first?

All this years, i've been rejecting to girl's confessions be it directly or indirectly. I always gave them 'i'm with someone' answer, in fact i'm not.
*
Boy,you yourself are responsible to your own happiness
Why base it on a permission of another individual to give you the green light to make a move for your own happiness?

And,Watson,they've broke up,that's all that matter

And,of course there bound to be some lingering feelings,it's expected when 2 person spent a few years together

KoChun
post May 21 2014, 10:19 PM

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QUOTE(shyey @ May 21 2014, 09:06 PM)
Thanks all.
But what about the guy? Should i go talk to him first?

All this years, i've been rejecting to girl's confessions be it directly or indirectly. I always gave them 'i'm with someone' answer, in fact i'm not.
*
You scared of the fella is it? LOL
He is your fren. You know his character.
If he is violent and vengeful, then u oso wont fren him that much rite.

If he is not, then go teh tarik with him,
cicak cicak ask him if he is married.
who is his most memorable gf.
what about that broad...

If u still haven't found your balls then just let him know
yur this ex- dating some fella from kampung botak.
see his reaction. Then u can let him know you are the botak fella.

Serious, if u date my ex- and come ask me... I collect dowry from you. LOL

danielmckey
post May 21 2014, 10:27 PM

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You not even put one foot in-front, how do you know you will fail?
Why you care about your friend feeling when they already breakup?
What to lose?
How many 18year to have in you life?

You will one day regret if you not do it now...
You will not regret now if you have tried...
SUSsokiahlee
post May 21 2014, 10:43 PM

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Of course you have to talk to your friend.
Bro comes 1st before chicks. Chicks are everywhere but real bro is more important.
If you're honest, have integrity. Go to talk to him.
I couldn't believe you have 18 year-feeling to her, that seems f***in long. if any thing happens, move on bro
kelvin_87
post May 21 2014, 11:40 PM

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Talk to your friend first.
This doesn't mean u are afraid of him, but is it a sign of respect between you and him.
elimi8z
post May 21 2014, 11:50 PM

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QUOTE(sokiahlee @ May 21 2014, 10:43 PM)
Of course you have to talk to your friend.
Bro comes 1st before chicks. Chicks are everywhere but real bro is more important.
If you're honest, have integrity. Go to talk to him.
I couldn't believe you have 18 year-feeling to her, that seems f***in long. if any thing happens, move on bro
*
QUOTE(kelvin_87 @ May 21 2014, 11:40 PM)
Talk to your friend first.
This doesn't mean u are afraid of him, but is it a sign of respect between you and him.
*
They broke up,why is there need to talk with him?
Has she became a property of the ex?
It's not that he's spanar-ing or being a third party,both are adults enough

TSshyey
post May 21 2014, 11:53 PM

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So you don't talk to your friend first?
... to avoid the awkwardness between best friend/friend?

6216
post May 21 2014, 11:55 PM

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Just do it. Its about you, not your friend.
louisrko93
post May 22 2014, 12:02 AM

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it would be pretty awkward between u n your bro....
elimi8z
post May 22 2014, 12:03 AM

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QUOTE(shyey @ May 21 2014, 11:53 PM)
So you don't talk to your friend first?
... to avoid the awkwardness between best friend/friend?
*
Awkwardness? No
I'll ask him the reason of breakup though
As I say,it ain't spanar or being a third party

Another advice,you better get your game plan asap or else you'll be banging your head on the wall when another friend of yours which happens to be a housemate too is one step ahead of you

This post has been edited by elimi8z: May 22 2014, 12:11 AM
SUSwhitesabre
post May 22 2014, 09:40 AM

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QUOTE(shyey @ May 21 2014, 08:05 PM)
Me;
Single, never ever been into any r/s.
Been having a really damn long crush with a girl i know about her since we're been in the same kindergarten, secondary & uni institution.

Story;
A friend of mine, my housemate also, was into a r/s with her for about 2 - 3 years, and they have broke up a year ago.

Well, it's been a year already. And i still have the same feelings for her. It's been 18 years already.

I already once told to our female friend about my secret crush. She didn't expect about my little secret, so i guess i'm good at hiding my crush to all my friends. Our female friend told me my crush still have this little light of feelings about him. I was taken aback what she said about it.

I still meet my crush during our lunch hours at the uni cafe', we also in the same couple of class. We talked, we meet, we smile and greet to each other every time we get to meet at the campus.

Sometimes she send me confusing signals, like smile and greet not the normal kinds... like a whisper from 1m distance kinda thingy, which i seldom do it to other girls.
Or when we're sitting with our friends during lunch hours, saw her take a quick glance at me. When i caught her, she tried to look away but she knows that i saw it.
Or we sat at different tables with our friends and we smile at each other randomly, which i never do it with other girls as well.

I'll finish my studies in a year while she still have 2 more years to go.

Still having doubts whether to approach her or not.

I heard there's a saying 'you should never date your best friend's ex'
Should i muster up my courage? Should i have a talk with my friend first?

Any advice from the ladies or gents?
Anyone had the same situation?
*
You have 1 yr to go before completing. Why not confess now. Got nothing to lose. You may get her, you may lose her. My answer, go for it. You may get her if you try. However, the signals she gave to you is perfectly normal. You may not do your part to others, but I bet she definitely do to others. To her, friendly gestures. Don't think so much, go for it.

fattchai
post May 22 2014, 10:09 AM

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Just try and error, you will regret if you dont try to ask her..

Damian
post May 22 2014, 10:17 AM

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Sometimes doing something is better than doing nothing and regrets it.
You big enough to make own decision, no need others people approval.
Just go ahead.
TSshyey
post May 22 2014, 12:54 PM

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A BIG Thanks for all of your replies!
Well i'm willing to go but i really do need to talk to him first right?

Anyway to talk to him so we can avoid any misunderstanding in the future or any heated arguments?


munkeyflo
post May 22 2014, 01:11 PM

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Date only la. People come people go. We can't please everybody.

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