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 My wife is a yandere, what should i do?

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TSnickykee
post May 2 2014, 02:33 PM, updated 12y ago

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After being married for a year, the frequency of being violent has gone to a stage that i have to worry about my safety.

Worst case is she is pregnant(4 months old) and bearing my child. She could not control her temper even her parent is around staying in our house...

Past case: breaking things, throwing things at me, using fingernail scratch my face, put blame and everything on me..., not allowed to even see my own parents and etc.

and then She keep saying she loves me?

I have given many chance and put it up with it and be patient with it, but it has reach to a dangerous stage.

I thought "yandere" girl only happen in anime/manga, in this case, it really happen in real life...

should i ask her to go back and live separately? or continue put up with it?
elimi8z
post May 2 2014, 02:34 PM

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Mood swings due to hormone imbalance?
otua
post May 2 2014, 02:35 PM

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for the sake of the baby, find solution not avoiding it by living separately, she need all of your support now.
xKrissy
post May 2 2014, 02:38 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:33 PM)
After being married for a year, the frequency of being violent has gone to a stage that i have to worry about my safety.

Worst case is she is pregnant(4 months old) and bearing my child. She could not control her temper even her parent is around staying in our house...

Past case: breaking things, throwing things at me, using fingernail scratch my face, put blame and everything on me..., not allowed to even see my own parents and etc.

and then She keep saying she loves me?

I have given many chance and put it up with it and be patient with it, but it has reach to a dangerous stage.

I thought "yandere" girl only happen in anime/manga, in this case, it really happen in real life...

should i ask her to go back and live separately? or continue put up with it?
*
most prolly cause she jz gave birth? but well; do talk it out with her. no communication = more misunderstanding
TSnickykee
post May 2 2014, 02:38 PM

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QUOTE(otua @ May 2 2014, 02:35 PM)
for the sake of the baby, find solution not avoiding it by living separately, she need all of your support now.
*
it reach to a stage that she can physically hurt and kill me. I was ironing my clothes the other day and i was talking to her mum,

she came over and start roughing up with me physical while she is carrying our baby...

started throwing things at me and thrashing things up apart later after i avoided her grabbing in front of me.

This post has been edited by nickykee: May 2 2014, 02:40 PM
asmia
post May 2 2014, 02:39 PM

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maybe because of the hormone during her pregnancy stage. mood swing etc.. u need to consult someone who expert bout this.
xKrissy
post May 2 2014, 02:43 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:38 PM)
it reach to a stage that she can physically hurt and kill me. I was ironing my clothes the other day and i was talking to her mum,

she came over and start roughing up with me physical while she is carrying our baby...
*
damn. son... you need help. fast.
arepit
post May 2 2014, 02:44 PM

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what is yandere?
kira_88
post May 2 2014, 02:47 PM

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QUOTE(arepit @ May 2 2014, 02:44 PM)
what is yandere?
*
meaning mentally unstable/deranged/koo koo/gila/, usually used in anime/manga to describe a charactert
arepit
post May 2 2014, 02:51 PM

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QUOTE(kira_88 @ May 2 2014, 02:47 PM)
meaning mentally unstable/deranged/koo koo/gila/, usually used in anime/manga to describe a charactert
*
thank you brada
Drian
post May 2 2014, 02:51 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:33 PM)
After being married for a year, the frequency of being violent has gone to a stage that i have to worry about my safety.

Worst case is she is pregnant(4 months old) and bearing my child. She could not control her temper even her parent is around staying in our house...

Past case: breaking things, throwing things at me, using fingernail scratch my face, put blame and everything on me..., not allowed to even see my own parents and etc.

and then She keep saying she loves me?

I have given many chance and put it up with it and be patient with it, but it has reach to a dangerous stage.

I thought "yandere" girl only happen in anime/manga, in this case, it really happen in real life...

should i ask her to go back and live separately? or continue put up with it?
*
Are you a typical nice guy? It sounds like she wears the pants in the house if you even need permission from her to visit your own parents.


SUSTyler__Durden
post May 2 2014, 03:28 PM

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If there's anything one need to learn from Amanda Foong saga, is to get your camera's ready whenever she's in the mood swing. Amanda uses camera to her advantage, you should use it as well.

You need to collect evidence and keep a journal, else she'll might just throw out any excuses that you're abusing her even when most of the pain were self inflicted.
Saitama
post May 2 2014, 03:36 PM

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pregnancy making her lose her mind. this sound beyond just mood swings. better take her to the hosp and strap her down.
k3lvinNdad
post May 2 2014, 03:42 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:38 PM)
it reach to a stage that she can physically hurt and kill me. I was ironing my clothes the other day and i was talking to her mum,

she came over and start roughing up with me physical while she is carrying our baby...

started throwing things at me and thrashing things up apart later after i avoided her grabbing in front of me.
*
you need serious help and must be fast type...you do not want your baby born without father...
irienaoki
post May 2 2014, 03:48 PM

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get an expert opinions bro.
it s dangerous to stay put in this kind of situation.

MichealTan
post May 2 2014, 03:51 PM

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My suggestion is listen to what she wants for now and don't accelerate her emotions, try to calm her down as quick as possible. When women had pregnancy especially her first birth, mood swing occur sometimes.

Sometimes it goes away after birth, sometimes it doesn't. Is better for both of you to find counselling if things get out of hand. Good luck.
xgenomer
post May 2 2014, 04:06 PM

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I think this is what malay people call "meroyan".. very dangerous.. send her to doctor a.s.a.p.. or tabib..
D10yrspain
post May 2 2014, 04:15 PM

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I don't even know what positive things to say to you but she was like that in the past and i wonder hmm.gif how the hell she got preggo if she always treated you like this ? Is this child even yours?
This is soooo weird, hormone has to do with some minor thing during pregnancy but as you mentioned she already like that in the past, there isn't
a way to solve this because this has been going on wayyy past during your early marriage? You guys have some unresolved issue way too long shakehead.gif
SUSmoko123456789
post May 2 2014, 04:17 PM

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hahaha...kecian
loui
post May 2 2014, 04:25 PM

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Why marry her in the 1st place

If you knew it earlier, you should have avoid her in the beginning

Personal safety is more crucial then lust
morpheuzneo
post May 2 2014, 04:32 PM

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QUOTE(xgenomer @ May 2 2014, 04:06 PM)
I think this is what malay people call "meroyan".. very dangerous.. send her to doctor a.s.a.p.. or tabib..
*
this is not 'meroyan' .. this is what we call - ke'saiko'an..

I think she's a saiko bro..

pity you lah..

think deep a bit - are you sure you want to stay in this marriage having to face all the rage every now and then?

you life will be reduced to counting days.. - days of which day you didn't have a fight and she didn't gone kuku..

like what others said - keep a journal.. keep all evidence.. if possible buy few hidden camera.. go and record it. it might save you later on.. , you don't know what going to happen next..

rclxub.gif
Jackofree
post May 2 2014, 05:08 PM

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Consult a bomoh. She might be possessed by a evil spirit
Quazacolt
post May 2 2014, 07:18 PM

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QUOTE(arepit @ May 2 2014, 02:44 PM)
what is yandere?
*
QUOTE(kira_88 @ May 2 2014, 02:47 PM)
meaning mentally unstable/deranged/koo koo/gila/, usually used in anime/manga to describe a charactert
*
please http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_anime_and_manga#Y
QUOTE
Yandere (ヤンデレ?)
A Japanese term for a person who is initially very kind, loving, caring, and gentle to someone (or at least innocent) they really, truly like and care about a lot before their purely intense romantic love, admiration, and devotion becomes mentally destructive in nature, often through overprotectiveness, violence or brutality. The term is derived from the words yanderu (病んでる?) meaning a mental or emotional illness, and deredere (でれでれ?) meaning to show genuinely strong romantic affection. Yandere characters are mentally unstable, and sometimes are incredibly deranged and are not mentally sane, often using extreme violence and/or brutality as an outlet for their emotions. The usage of the character type has led to criticism over the amount of violence in works such as School Days, a classic story of a romantic love triangle gone dangerously wrong. Although the character type has been used in anime and manga since Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam in 1985, conscious use of the term only began to be around the turn of the millennium. A classic (and rather extreme) example of yandere is Yuno Gasai, from the manga/anime Future Diary, who is prone to kill anyone who may interfere with her obsessive passion for the series protagonist Yukiteru Amano (or just even be near him without any romantic contact). For example Kurumi Tokisaki, from the anime Date A Live, who is prone to kill people and loves the series protagonist Shido Itsuka even after knowing that she will die but still she chose to continue her date with him for the last time .Yandere are usually, but not always, female characters, and are usually depicted as villains, but sometimes anti-heroines as well. For example Rolo Lamperouge from the Code Geass series can be considered a yandere for his ruthless devotion to the series protagonist Lelouch (who himself rises in arms against his father and his empire to create a better world for his little sister), as his affection grows to the point he will attempt to kill even those who are close to Lelouch in order to not be replaced. More good (and otherwise Anti-heroic) examples would be Belarus from Axis Powers Hetalia, Hatsune Miku and Megurine Luka in the song "Scissorloid", or Nu-13 from BlazBlue. Western/non-anime or manga characters that are similar in concept to a Yandere such as Annie Wilkes in Misery fall under the Abhorrent Admirer trope. Sometimes, they can just be played in a comedic, usually exaggerated, context.

Quazacolt
post May 2 2014, 07:23 PM

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QUOTE(Jackofree @ May 2 2014, 05:08 PM)
Consult a bomoh. She might be possessed by a evil spirit
*
this?
user posted image
nicktaylor
post May 2 2014, 07:31 PM

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QUOTE(xgenomer @ May 2 2014, 04:06 PM)
I think this is what malay people call "meroyan".. very dangerous.. send her to doctor a.s.a.p.. or tabib..
*
yeah.. +1 .. i've heard bout this case also before.. apparently there's some women , after given birth will have an unstable mind and crazy mood swings. Did these situations started since her pregnancy, or she always like that since u known her? .. if this not her or totally different character of her since you known her at the beginning. Better go consult with doctor or therapist.. there's a high possibility of mental illness.. my 2 cents..
SUSStationMonkey
post May 2 2014, 07:58 PM

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i've heard hormon imbalance can really make people go insane one... bring her go doctor and ask la if these are after-effects of pregnancy.. i've heard wimmen being extra-irrational cause of hormones tapi takdela sampai to the point wanna attack and cause physical harm one sweat.gif
SUSleonhart88
post May 3 2014, 10:15 PM

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but why guy still live in in law house.
ymc2303
post May 3 2014, 10:49 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:33 PM)
After being married for a year, the frequency of being violent has gone to a stage that i have to worry about my safety.

Worst case is she is pregnant(4 months old) and bearing my child. She could not control her temper even her parent is around staying in our house...

Past case: breaking things, throwing things at me, using fingernail scratch my face, put blame and everything on me..., not allowed to even see my own parents and etc.

and then She keep saying she loves me?

I have given many chance and put it up with it and be patient with it, but it has reach to a dangerous stage.

I thought "yandere" girl only happen in anime/manga, in this case, it really happen in real life...

should i ask her to go back and live separately? or continue put up with it?
*
the problem is, can you put up with a wife who use violence on you due to her mood swings? if can, how long can you sustain in those mood?
your wife is well pampered even before marriage or you pamper her until this stage?
kinjiokia
post May 3 2014, 10:51 PM

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give love la...
take good care of her...
is ur wife...
i want a gf oso hard cry.gif

This post has been edited by kinjiokia: May 3 2014, 10:52 PM
kinjiokia
post May 3 2014, 10:53 PM

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QUOTE(leonhart88 @ May 3 2014, 10:15 PM)
but why guy still live in in law house.
*
if really no duit...
what to do...
wait got money liao ma buy a house la...
if married liao must moving outside meh?
is must? doh.gif
beederbest
post May 3 2014, 10:58 PM

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QUOTE(nicktaylor @ May 2 2014, 07:31 PM)
yeah.. +1 .. i've heard bout this case also before.. apparently there's some women , after given birth will have an unstable mind and crazy mood swings. Did these situations started since her pregnancy, or she always like that since u known her? .. if this not her or totally different character of her since you known her at the beginning. Better go consult with doctor or therapist.. there's a high possibility of mental illness.. my 2 cents..
*
postpartum psychosis...
SUSleonhart88
post May 3 2014, 11:38 PM

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QUOTE(kinjiokia @ May 3 2014, 10:51 PM)
give love la...
take good care of her...
is ur wife...
i want a gf oso hard  cry.gif
*
current phone note 3 but still live with in law.
elimi8z
post May 4 2014, 12:23 PM

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QUOTE(Michael2020 @ May 4 2014, 10:46 AM)
If me...the moment she rough me, I will repeatedly slap her until she come to her sense.

U hit me 1 time, I will hit u worst 10 times.
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Fighting fire with fire is not really a good advice
tholana
post May 4 2014, 01:57 PM

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QUOTE(nickykee @ May 2 2014, 02:33 PM)
After being married for a year, the frequency of being violent has gone to a stage that i have to worry about my safety.

Worst case is she is pregnant(4 months old) and bearing my child. She could not control her temper even her parent is around staying in our house...

Past case: breaking things, throwing things at me, using fingernail scratch my face, put blame and everything on me..., not allowed to even see my own parents and etc.

and then She keep saying she loves me?

I have given many chance and put it up with it and be patient with it, but it has reach to a dangerous stage.

I thought "yandere" girl only happen in anime/manga, in this case, it really happen in real life...

should i ask her to go back and live separately? or continue put up with it?
*
Hi,

How was she before you guys married?

I would suggest you to check this link to see if she fits the criteria.
http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm

If so, did you go through this phave of your relationship:
http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm


Then i would suggest you seek medical help so that you can be there for her and your unborn child. Hope the best for you.


kcmy
post May 4 2014, 02:25 PM

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QUOTE(loui @ May 2 2014, 04:25 PM)
Why marry her in the 1st place

If you knew it earlier, you should have avoid her in the beginning

Personal safety is more crucial then lust
*
there are some mens who r like that bro, even when they know the girls are only after their money also they dun care, wat is most important is the sex.
TSnickykee
post May 4 2014, 02:37 PM

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Hi All, thank you for some of the comments and advice.

I will seek professional/expert help, Thank you.

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