Ur router should have a private ip address whereby u can manually set the connection to the internet automatically enabled whenever u start ur com. Check out the router manual for the ip address.

As for ur lagging n d/c problems, there is no miracle software 2 settle this. My advice is to either get another phone line n activate streamyx with it n u use it. The cheaper alternative would b 2 set a time allocation btw u n ur frens as 2 who would b have access 2 the internet at an agreed period of time, this way no need 2 fight over the limited bandwidth.