QUOTE(jdreamer @ Sep 22 2006, 07:41 AM)
Thanks..
But sorry that I cant give much advice to u about ur problem. I failed my relationship so Im not qualified to.
Please don't say so la... anyway thanks for reading my posts....
QUOTE(miyoko @ Sep 22 2006, 09:54 AM)
thanks a lot for your wish. me and my dear didnt only back to normal. actually, i feel both of us have moved to another level in our relationship. previously there's some kind of barrier when we are to talk of certain things but now, it's no longer there. we are more close to each others and i strongly believe there's a future for both of us. currently, we are working together to furnish his house (our house)
In my opinion, everyone have a different sets of "ga jik goon" or "yan sang goon". this is definitely unavoidable. me and my dear also different. i guess, in this kind of situation, RESPECT and COMPROMISE is EXTREMELY important. well, i hope that the things that i will say will not offend you. if i ever do, let me apologize first.
i somehow feel you ought to respect your bf's choice. dont put your thought or opinion is more previledge than his thought or opinion. both's opinion should be at the same level. there's no superiority in relationship. try not to put yourself as the superior here. try to put yourself in his position and dont think so negatively. he must have his own reason to wanting to have his own business. try to respect it, ok? as to why i say not to put yourself in the superior, is because when you put yourself in superior, you will tend to think that only your idea works while his idea is not as good as yours. yes, i understand that you are from Hong Kong and you would know the culture there more than him and you believe that working for others is a better start than to straight away start his own business (if he is to go to Hong Kong). However, there are cases where a foreigner is success starting business in a foreign country. have some faith and confident in him. try not to worry about it too much and create tense between both of you.
yes, i do know that you would want him to be financially viable to finance your family (i mean the family that both of you will build together). but you gotta understand that the family belongs to both of you. so both of you gotta work together to finance it and to make it a happy family. yes, the responsibility lies higher and heavier on the man's shoulder, but the woman behind him acts to support him in case if the burden is too heavy.
try to understand the reason to why he wants to start his business. frankly speaking, having own business is indeed a better way to earn money. and frankly speaking, it doesnt only take 1 year for a new starting company to earn money. it will take at least 1.5 or 2 years to break even and start to earn money. so i believe, time and support is what he needs now.
take myself as an example. i'm not the type of person who always like to take risk. so when my dear tell me he's starting business, i'm kind of worried. moreover, his ex-company (that time his company) have just promoted him and there's salary increment and there's also some counter offer when he resign. i thought that it would be safer to work for others because if lost money also, still the money is the other company's money. so, i kind of not that supportive. but when he told me that the reason why he wanna start his business is because he wanna have his own career and to earn more money for his future family (me and our family), i decided to fully support him. because if i love him, i have to love all of him. we'll be there for each others to support each others through ups and down.
then, now, he has got really little time for me. i was sad and kind of angry about it and we got some argument and cold war for 1 day (one day only, hehehe... cos i couldnt stand pretending to be angry but actually care about him - such a torture for me) then eventually after i think about it, i come to understand that no matter how i angry or cold war or scold him, he couldnt do anything about his time because he just couldnt fork out the time. and when i get angry about it, it only made both of us unhappy, so, eventually, i learn to accept it and deep down inside me, i know that he will definitely spend time to accompany me if he's available. and that's just what he do. so happy about it. he always try to arrange his time to be there for me when i need him
anyway, enough about my part. northasian, maybe you ought to talk it with him. ask him the reason why he want his own business. dont jump into conclusion that he want his own business just because he wanna be boss and dont wanna work under people. remember one thing, even if he have his own business, he still work under other people, and that other people is his CUSTOMERS. well, i guess i wrote too long. hope that it's of some help. all the best to you, yeah.
QUOTE(miyoko @ Sep 22 2006, 02:59 PM)
yeah, northasian, try not to push too much about getting married and having family and things like that. as you said, currently, his business is not so well. i would advice you to be supportive, and try not to over pressure him with family and marriage or migration kind of thingy. maybe talk nicely with him and discuss for a solution agreeable to both of you. all the best, yeah.
Miyoko,
Thanks for your advices and suggestions....
I just feel like losing sense of security and stability after he started doing business, and somemore I am running out of my time. You know girl's time is precious, this is why I become kinda pushy and demanding. I didn't mean to be superior over him on making the decision of where is the best place to live, and yea, I know I am wrong for not respecting his own wish. When I have to respect his wish, should he also respect my wish? We're now talking on the email about this problem, and seems both of us standing firm on our point. Now he said he WILL NEVER come to HK and wanna concentrate on his business... so what could I do now? Give him time to succeed and wait? or just let go the relationship? For sure I am "ng seh dak" to let go it...... almost 2.5 years together...
Wanna find a place to hide and cry as hard as I want.......
QUOTE(max_cjs0101 @ Sep 22 2006, 02:50 PM)
Wahlao eh miyoko,what a long post..haha..anyway,northasian,i think you should give ur partner some time before deciding..I mean,if you keep on pushing him,he will feel stressed and difficult..Maybe talk to him about this and make plans with him..
Thanks max, I am talking to him on email now.... still no outcome...
Jul 14 2006, 12:54 PM
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Will visit there again for sure, and will try jungle trekking next time! 
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