Again Miyoko's big name came in

u marry fast2 la and stay together with ur family and wife. one big happy family..... no more miss anybody

good afternoon everyone..

Afternoon~

Being emotional. I now tense to get angry very easily, I even do not know what I am doing. I even can just walk off and don't care about her(I went to Singapore and look for her, we quarrel there also). I really don't know what I am doing. How can I change? I really really really need a patient heart to talk to her, if not I will really screw up our relationship.

On LDR since the day we are together. Next month 21st will be our 2 years together already.

Try to change. But I dunno how much to change.

Thx.

try and create a new way to talk to her...
dont be emotional.
when emotions defeat logic, u are on the losing end.
when u talk...both of u must be calm.

Tell her...."As u already know, lately all we do is fight. I still want this relationship to work. If u wanna try also, lets put our emotional cap down....and talk rationally.
Lets find the source of this problem."

Tolerate each other. Give and take. Admit it when u r wrong.
Do what u have to do. Listen to each other.

Hey suiteng,maybe next week i go pudu and take ur mmc can ar?Coz maybe i wanna buy fishes..haha
Alamak,off topic..

When argue time, I am the only one have to put my emotional down, I have to. If I put my emotional cap high, for sure she won't put her emotional cap down also, and for sure she HAS to WIN no matter what.

Last time, I have my total patient on her. I always keep everything in my heart, and I really really don't like it and really suffer for it. I will never throw it to her or tell her, all I do is share with my friend(my only solution). Soon later on, my friend ask me to talk to her, discuss with her, and etc. I follow, but in the end what? Arguement.

Anyway, does you guys think age younger is another problem or what? She always think that I have the childish thinking.

Thats why i call it a "talk" not an "argument". U have to tell her before the talk, to relax, dont be emotional. Control urselves.
like i said, both sides must be calm. Tell her.
I dont want this talk to end up with a fight.
Lets try to be cool, and express what we feel logically, rationally, not emotionally.

The thing is, to me, most of the probs can be settled by talking to each other. Hearing out what the other has to say. Compromise. Tolerate.

The problem here is, at least what i think here is..U guys cant have a decent talk.
Make her understand how important it is to keep cool and rational to try to solve the probs u guys are having.

I think, the way u guys have a talk is wrong. Sorry, but from what i read, i think u are a bit childish. Or maybe just too impatient? Problems cant be settled just with a blink of an eye. We have to work for it. It takes time and patience. Be cool. A man shud be cool. Matured. if both sides are emotional, then u wont achieve anything.

Control urselves during the talk. Dont blame it all on her. Think of ur GOAL. To be happy together. Keep that in mind.
Think back now...what goes wrong everytime u guys discuss?
Try to avoid doing it again.

And lastly, if all things fail...i suggest u use a mediator. Someone u both can rely on, to be the middle-man.

Good Luck

Absolutely same in my case..If not sure gaduh til break up 1..Been there,done that dunno how many times adi.And she always say im immature oso..Im younget than her 2 months..

hahaha.. juz older by month.. maybe we should learn anger management.

The problem with most couples is, they think they own their partner.
They want their partner this and that and other sorts of thing.

Yeah, in romantic novels they say 2 hearts become one, 2 become 1 etc etc.

But then again, basically they are 2 different persons. Each has their won wishes and desires....

Sometimes people try to change other people. Especially when the other party is our partner.

so far, all my friends long distance relationship have fail..

every person want their partner be what they want.. stop dreaming about perfect partner and prince/s charming.. me too... huhuhu

Haha.. okok. Let me know earlier la. Now MMC turun harga again

What kinda childish thinking oh? Are you talking to her within her topic or out of scope? I get that a lot... then kena gek sei...

Dun la like that.. at least mine succeeded.

Correct... just learn to accept your partner's merits/demerits.

hi guys, good evening. sorry that i reported in late.

joshua,
quiksilver has pointed out some very important points there. to tell you frankly, me and my dear quarreled a lot lately after he started business. eventually, both me and my dear realized the changes in our relationship and it's unhealthy. so, recently, we had a talk rationally and calmly and the situation is resolved. dont be emotional when you face problem. who said relationship is easy? it's never easy and it's not always rainbows and butterflies. remember the song? --> "it's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that move us (in this context, relationships) along".

being emotional will not help to solve problem, actually, it will create another bigger problem. dont let your emotion controls your brain, but instead, let your brain control your emotion. in your case, if you find that talking on the phone or face to face will not work for both of you, find another alternative. sms or e-mail, maybe? one benefit of sms and e-mail is that, you can re-read after typing and edit if there's any inappropriates. you see, sometimes, when we are emotional, we tend to says things which hurts our partner or might accidentally says things that triggers to our partner being emotional. the key here is having good communication. absolutely no shouting and blaming each others. when one problem and the cos of the problem is found, your objective will be to work together to solve problem cos both of you is together. not put the blame on another party and let the other party settle it themselves. the key is "TOGETHERNESS". dont blame. when there's a hole in the wall of your house, you dont dig the hole to make it bigger, instead, you work together to close the hole.

points to ponder ---> "Relationship is about giving WITHOUT expecting anything in return".

I found that from the things that you said, you mentioned that only you trying to be patient while she just lose her temper. well, you shouldnt be expecting her to not lose her temper just because you keep your temper (NO EXPECTATION). however, you can be patient and show her through your action that keeping cool and calm and controling temper is the key of solving problem. or i should say ---> set good example, start it from within yourself.

"two wrongs doesnt make a right"

all the best, yeah.

i wish you all the best, yeah.

oh yes, as what Quiksilver said, real relationship is nothing like romantic love movie, drama or novels. i found those things entertaining, but sometimes misleading. hahaha... self-help books are better

This post has been edited by miyoko: Oct 13 2006, 04:29 PM

Those bold word is what I learn from u. Thanks
Okok. I understand already.

Why always your reply so long 1? But your point is always meaningful, no choice but to read.

Ok, point is almost the same as quiksilver, I know what to do next and how to control the situation.

I almost misunderstood your 'Relationship is about giving WITHOUT expecting anything in return' I wanted to say why can't she just learn to be patient too?

opps, sorry that my point is long

i'm glad that you understand about the giving without expecting anything in return part. hahaha...

Long but good point you have ar!!!

Thanks to you guys....

Ya,i agree with tat coz couples always think that she/he is mine..

miyoko experienced 1..Must listen carefully..