Yup, but guys also will try to understand 1. But sometime, it just happen SUDDENLY, very sudden. Is like, very ok, then all of the sudden, don't know what happen, straight moody Doesn't give any hints also.

I always kena buta2.

Yup. She working full time and studying part time in Singapore

Anything special ar? I really bankrupt already, plan to give her hand-made card. Cheaper and more meaningful. Plan to celebrate with her again in Singapore. Christmas in Singapore really happening.

That's why we have to understand quickly, understand the situation.
I am just unhappy that it happen all of the sudden and kena buta2.

Ooohh... You now staying at Singapore. Yeah.. I last been been to Orchard road during the christmas eve, I bought 1 box of snow spray and bring in to Singapore. 8 of us, 3 full snow spray of bag went for 'war of snow spray' in the Orchard Road, seriously, it is FUN.

Dinner together? Your treat? Anyway, see how lar. Keep in touch. PM me your contact number.

Haha. She is cute

If you did something bad, really really bad, which hurt your loved one... What should you do? Your loved one couldn't forget bout it, keep on mention about it... What should you do?

I am facing this case.. I told her, that if she couldn't forget it no matter what in the future, asked her to give up our relationship. She really really couldn't accept what I have done and really really couldn't forget about what I have done. I am heartache to see her suffering like this.

Need advise

I know... But still life must carry on.. as You did it successfully

My case... Sigh... Very very long story.... Kinda of lazy to tell....
Ok.. Let's start....

Last 2 year ago, very soon after I and my gf being together, I 'adopted' a god-sister, let's call her A, since she didn't have a brother before. Then.... problem start...

During new year 2005, I and my gf were sleeping in a room, and my god-sis sleeping another room... At 3am, A sms me saying she had a nightmare and can't sleep. So, I went over to her room and look for her. She still can't sleep, so I ask her to sleep with us(I and my gf). So, I and my gf sleep on the bed, and she sleep on the mattress on the floor. But still, she can't sleep, so I invited her to sleep together on the bed. My gal sleep the most side, A sleep in the middle, and I sleep another side. Once woke up, my gal told me that I am hugging A but not her. OMG....!!!

Ok.... My gf went back to Singopore. She didn't tell me that she hate A a lot. I only get to know from my friend. But then, while I still don't know, I and A getting closer. But, I can swear I never have feeling for A before. We are in the same class for 2 years. Eat lunch/dinner together, do homework together, study together.... Almost everything together.

I and my gf then start quarrellings as 'spy' around me report to my gf. Told her that I did nothing wrong as I just treat A as god-sis. My gf didn't believe me but believe those 'spy' whom are my close friend also.

On last year december, I start to realize that I couldn't carry on becoming A's god brother. So, I told my gf everything going to end very soon. I try to hints A but she just act don't know. BUT, she even come closer to me. Deng...!!! I really have no choice because we are too close. I have rejected her becoming close, rejected every of her invitation but still insist 1 me to accept. So, I do not want to hurt A badly, sometime I accept her invitation. So, we still being close but not as close as before, because I keep a distance with her already. BUT, still I not dare to tell my gf that I and A still got keep contact each another. So, I just wish to waited until this year May (graduated) so I can have my freedom back and everything will be back as normal.

After May, everything going smooth, she couldn't come closer at with anymore. BUT, but... On July, God still doesn't want to let me go... My gf checked open my history and found out that I has been contacting A. Then havoc happened. Then since that, I ask for forgiveness but she doesn't really forgive me. She doesn't happy that I has been hiding from her for last year December till this year July.

So, now she keep on asking me about my past with I and A. But everytime we talked about it, for sure both of us get upsad because I hurted her badly. So, I choose to avoid the question. But scorpio always insist want for an answer, I knew I cannot run, so I tell her everything. But still, she is like cannot let it go, cannot really forget what I have done.

So, I did tell her just now, in future if she still forget about the past and forgive, I have ask her to let go of me and our relationship. I do not wish to see her get real upsad.

But, I just couldn't pick and tell her everything in 1 day time. Need a few times slowly to clear it up. But it is a really uneasy 1.

Sure, Joshua_0718@hotmail.com

Sleep together doesn't mean DO the 1 you are thinking

Do you mean sleeping together doesn't treat their body with dignity?

Didn't wor... What is the song name? Will go and find.

Arrangement of the sleeping order so funny ar... Errmm.. Because my gf still sleeping, didn't wake her up. So, let her sleep in the middle lor.

If not, I really sad to see her suffering. Don't you think is the best solution for her? Not for me, but for her. IF she really can't forget about it, I won't force her to forget it. I just don't want her to be sad and suffer.

Don't need to mention or discuss about this matter? I already tried many times, but still she insist to mention and ask about my past. I love her a lot and sayang her a lot, tat's why I let her mention. But with 3 conditions, which is

1. Not to be angry or sad. It is already over
2. Continue forgive me
3. Do not change attitude or change the feeling or action towards me, don't want her to change. (As I want her to be happy)

Okok... Later I will talk to her 'pull' back my word. Hope she let it back to me.
I hope so, ok.. I will again try to understand the whole situation and patiently face her 'attack' toward me.

I already seriously stop contacting A already. MSN, blocked, I can't delete, I letting my gf to check my msn whether is her account being blocked a not. Friendster account deleted her account. Phone call straight directly didn't contact. And one more thing, I directly tell A that I do not wish to be her godbro, and she said she knew this 1 day will happen, as she can sense that I have been avoiding her.

Thaks.

She like/love me, I am not sure. I have asked A many times but she denied it. She said she hate being 3rd parties. She even cried(many times jor) when I keep on asked her.

My this girl do not put trust in ppl 1, including me. She said, why must have trust? She said most of the relationship always broke up is because of trust. So, she said no trust = no problem WEIRDO!!!

Anyway, I will never win back any trust, just will try to win back her heart. Hope to get you guys support although I did something badly.

My opinion, go and meet up with her. Make things clear. You could say, last year till now didn't meet b4. Meet up to improve your relationship. Imagine 1 year relationship without seeing the loved one b4.

A is my god-sis Anyway, I understand it is your typing error

Thank btw

I just read her diary. I were like I feel very guilty now.. I dunno what shall I do. I totally lost my faith already.

In mandarin, sorry, I am too down to translate

BIG BIG DAMAGE I have done...........................

Try speaking in English, not many ppl understand mandarin here.

I don't know. I fell like giving up, don't want to see you get upsad, and seems like it is the best way for her right now. But, but... dunno why.... i really can't let her go.....

Seriously, I just treat her as god-sis and I only love her alone, she knew it also. Nothing more

Edit: 晚会 ??? You mean 挽回 ??? 挽回 = Save/Rescue

This post has been edited by Joshua_0718: Nov 25 2006, 12:18 PM

But, do I really need to let go? I don't wish to let go but put in more 'effort', I really do not mean to hurt her so much, I really don't know that I am hurting her. I thought she is fine is because she that time didn't talk to me directly. How I wish to know earlier. But, it's too late.

Maybe? LoL. But after I and my sis grew up, we get closer compare when we are small. Fight and quarrel

She said she will give me 1 last chance. But I dun seems to have the chance at all. Even just now she ask me isn't too late to save this relationship? Damn it....

Don't know how many times she want me to ask for chance? All the chances she gave is just white lie... Sigh~

Sigh... I am super super down now... I am really desperate. I need to focus on my assignment, I am rushing for it as deadline on Monday, yet I still have to talk to her and settle about this matter. Everytime we talk about her, for sure we will start arguing or quarreling for days. Sigh

Just now on the phone with her, tried patiently talk to her. Suddenly, don't know why I felt stress out, I feel like exploding, trying to control myself but still can't. At last I explode, I really feel the pressure keep coming in and I just suddenly scream and left my phone hanging. I don't know what I am doing, I just know I off my both phone, tears flowing down and went out to drive my car. Yeah, for sure I drive dangerously as I keep on pressing the accelerator. I badly need help here. I don't know what happen, don't know what I am doing.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know whether I should let this relationship go a not. I just really seriously couldn't see her getting upsad, getting nightmare, curious this and that. She would think about K suddenly, think what I have done, and cry in herself, write in her diary. I just don't want to see her suffer. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Pls show me some guidance. I really did a big big big big mistake, but my 'punishment' is really a torturing 1, although even I receive my 'punishment', I felt really guilty, still guilty....

I am here.
Any update ar? Erm, after that 3/4 days being uneasy, everything goes smooth again. Now praying next 'mentioning' won't be too early for me and I hope I could handle better.

I will translate the diary very soon. Sorry ya, been very busy these few days as brother marrying.

Don't worry, it is normal. Once in blue moon, we will think back, juz like my gf. 'Call it a day' and just carry on your life as usual.

Anyway, crying it not sissy. No worries. I do cry and say it out here. No worries.

Cheerz!!!!

Suddenly think a lot, Christmas time when I go down, can't recognize me, fine.
Drink water, ask her first. Me? Fine.
In the car keep on tease each another, treat me as if I don't exist, fine.
In her house, keep on say each another. I am thinking whether I should come down anot, like I am the third party. Fine.
During night time, both sleeping in different room, but keep on sms each another. What is my feeling?
When want to sleep, the one who said want to sleep another room is she. Ask him to go over also is she. Fine.
Once woke up, saw 3 of us sleeping together. Very hard to believe right? The most I can't forget is they two hug each another.
I really...... fine! Patient
What is the reason? Because she said she scare. *Fainted*. You win, I got nothing to say.
She was very happy saying that a lot of people saying them are couple. Why are you telling me all this?
Want to make me pissed off? Or showing off with me?
Go shopping, keep on call her. Because later going to meet up with her.
HELLO! You guys everyday meet still not enough? I came also you want to appear?
The most funny is when see her cannot hold hand. He gave me a lousy reason, saying when she saw us dating, she also want dating.
Just because do not want her simply have boyfriend and we need to sacrifice? FINE!!! Patient
Reach home, when reaching the next stop, bluff me go down to that station saying we have reach, end up both of them inside the train saying bye bye to me. He even put his arm at her shoulder.
At that time, I really wanted to go back very much, felt that I shouldn't come down. I am actually the third party, I straight walk off.
Then only they chase after me. >.<
Went to pudu, they ate the same food while I ate other food. Walau, I really different from them.
I really want................ to go home
Went up to the bus, wanted to go down and a chat with him, but she beside me. Forget bout it then.
Just because she cough for a while, then say want to go home.
Just because she cough for a while, saying the air 'polluted', he then just go back, leaving me alone lonely.

A lot a lot of stuff he doesn't know that he is hurting me. Who knows my feeling at that time. You happy at that moment, I am here sad tear flowing down, do you know that?
You obviously understand her more than me.
You care her more than me
Just because she is your sister?
Didn't see you care your own blooded sister. Didn't see you go and care and sayang her that much.

Even we at Penang, she also didn't want to let me go
Everytime we are chatting or playing, just because of her sms, our mood changed to very bad.
You keep on sms sms sms.... Have you ever thought of my feeling?


P/S:
1. Please forgive me for my bad translation.
2. She told me that she didn't finish up this story. And I won't continue her story here already. All this is more than enough. Thanks for the understanding

This post has been edited by Joshua_0718: Nov 29 2006, 09:23 PM

Thanks to miyoko, @lice~~, and lolz_5167 concern. Thanks for the reply.

Today after a tiring work at pc fair, came back and she think about last time again. I tried to reply her sms but I can't, as got road block, so I throw my hp to the passenger seat and keep driving. Knowing driving and sms is dangerous, so quickly speed back and try to reply her sms. Call her and have a chat. Although I myself already moody as I and her really uneasy and I saw 'someone' I hate.

We chat on the phone for quite really really a long time. Around 2-2.30 hours. She said out everything, everything also we say.(everything include give up our relationship, tried thinking of ways to solve it, delete everything about my god-sis and etc.)

After a long long talk, whole conversation patiently talk to her, (Very very seldom I could patiently talk to her like this, maybe I have successfu? ), she decided to forget everything as soon as possible. She also said will never mention about it, do not want to talk about it, delete everything about my god-sis(video, msn conversation, photos) so 'she won't appear' in our life anymore.

I do not know this is a good move or what. I need to see whether she really can make it a not. I really really wish and pray that she really can make it. Hope you guys support me too.. I really need support and courage to fully support her too.

Do remember to pray for me

P/S:
Miyoko: I have totally no longer contact my god-sis, deleted everything about her in my life

@lice~~: Thanks, I will

lolz_5167: Fully effort now.

After deleting everything, still she can see her 'appear'. She open my friendster account and saw A view my friendster account. Told her that Internet stuff we really can't control, really out of control

She went mad then, I really don't know what happen what she is doing at that time.

When I said 'ke yi bu ke yi chek'(can a not) in mandarin, she shout at me loudly asking me not to say 'chek' this word. I whole person stun as I really dun understand why 'chek' this word make her so furious. Being quiet and ask her why she so mad, she said she don't know. Ok, coz I need to get back to work, so I work and she went for movie.

During dinner break, I phone her up. I ask her again about the 'chek' incident, she told me she really don't know what happen at that time and she said she didn't remember that she said that to me. Fine, forget about it. She also said she actually plan to go and buy some medicine and wanted to commit suicide. But once seeing the price very expensive, she give up, due to scare to die also. The most important thing is she DON'T KNOW what she is doing.

WHAT HAPPEN actually? I really went blur when she told me she wanted to commit suicide. I warned her not to do it anymore already.
All I knew is once she 'appear', her emotional is totally out of control. I really don't know what to do next already.

She won't allow me to do so and she don't want to do so also.

If enable, we view ppl, ppl dunno right? We also don't know who viewing us right?

This post has been edited by Joshua_0718: Dec 4 2006, 08:54 PM