hello everyone,
sorry for missing in action for so many days. i did not online during the holidays. was very busy.
anyway, jdreamer,
i read about your thread and also read about your posts here. here's what i wanna say. i'm not gonna tell you to continue on with the relationship with your girl or not. the decision is still in your hand. however, i will try to tell you from a girl's point of view, why your girl act the way she does. and i will also try to tell you things that you might overlook due to your emotions.
1) you must be thinking why she still comes back to you and tell you and do all those mushy things with you? ---> answer is simple. when she's back to hometown, she got nobody to care about her (the guy is not there) and she know she's got you. therefore, she goes back to you.
2) why she tells you that she still have feelings for you and also have feelings for that guy? ---> answer is again simple, if she didnt tell you that she still have feelings for you, would you still treating her as sweet as she wanted you to treat her when she's back in hometown?
3) why she tell you that that guy is a replacement but she tell her friend that you are replacement? ---> answer is simple. she dont love both of you. she loves herself the most. she take both of you as replacement.
4) why she tells you to go look around for other female friends? ---> well, this is to make herself dont look so bad. because she knows that you will not be going to look for other girls as your heart is still with her. so, she say it to make herself looks better and to make herself sound like she's being fair to you, but the fact is, she knows that you'll be there for her.
5) dont hate that guy, because that guy might be suffering from the same kind of feeling that you have now. because your girl is the PLAYER here.
6) you cant control any guy going after your girl. that's a norm. actually, when other guy is going after a girl who have a bf, the responsibility is actually on the girl's shoulder to shove them off, not the bf. it's when the girl have tried all she can but not working or ask for the bf's help, then the bf will need to act lah (this is my opinion and the way that i do lah)
7) there is definitely JUST friends between guy and girl. i have lots of them. my bf have lots of them too.
8) your girl might have mixed feeling and confusion. everyone will experience this feeling at least once in their life. again, this depend on how the girl handle the situation. speaking from my own experience, i've had this kind of feeling too. i mean, my bf is not around and no time for me, i feel all lonely and other guys (note the "S") is treating me superly good and taking opportunity. but deep down inside myself, i keep reminding myself that it's just not right. and it dont feel right because my love and feelings is with my bf, i just couldnt find anyone to replace him. no one could replace him. and it's foolish of me to find his replacement just because he's not there for me, because i know, eventually when he got time, he'll be there for me. also, i know that by doing so, i will hurt him. and hurting him = hurting myself too. well, that's just me. dont know about others.
9) your girl might have made a wrong choice this time, and human are deem to make mistake. it's up to you whether to give it another try or not. however, let me remind you, your girl have hid the mixed feeling that she has for sometime, instead of trying to solve the problem. she's behaving like a PLAYER here, or in a more rude term, she's being unloyal. however, loyal is very discreet.
10) this you already know ---> if your girl have do it once, she might do it again.
11) will you be able to trust her again? however hard you deny it, there is still a flaw and a scar in your relationship. however, if you look at it from another side, you might take this as a test for your relationship with your girl.
12) again, i would wanna say, everyone (including me) is selfish and your girl is definitely letting her selfishness over-ruled her conscience to think properly.
13) well, you will not gonna like to read this. if you dont wanna read, just skip it. and if you decided to read this, make sure you have an open heart.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
again, that guy is not at fault for spannaring your girl. try to think about it this way, he's just trying because he knows, without trying and putting effort, he'll never get her. when he try, at least there's still a slight chance. everyone gotta work hard for the things that they want and this is just what that guy is doing it. i believe, deep down inside that guy, he thinks that he can treat your girl better than you do. anyway, i believe, he's not having a good time either because he might be in dilemma too as to guessing how's your girl's feeling on him and also guessig what you and your girl have done when she's back to your hometown. both you and that guy did nothing wrong. both of you have just fallen in love with a PLAYER (your girl).
14) anyway, i think i wrote too much (i guess, i'll get complaint that everytime i write, i wrote too long). i hope that you will spend time to read it, because i really spend time to analyse your situation and give out my opinions from my heart. all the best. however, i would like to apologize if i've said anything wrong that made you angry. if i ever do, tell me and i will edit my post.
This post has been edited by miyoko: Oct 26 2006, 10:31 AM 
Oct 25 2006, 03:18 PM
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