Blasphemy!!!

You , as Iproduct cultist should just send your Iproduct to your temple of Apple for resurrection and blessing. For cult member, the service is fastest among mortal realm. Your Iproduct will also be blessed.

You have commited a blasphemy. Repent, poor soul. Repend by buying new Iproduct.

Iphone 5s is recommended. Blessing sold separately.