Drunk Guy
Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered.
The first guy said, ''Hey, I'll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!''
Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ''YOU'RE ON!''
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ''WOW,'' screamed the 2nd guy, ''That was incredible. Do it again!''
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ''That is remarkable. Do it one more time!"

''Ok,'' said the first guy, ''But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it."
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ''Your turn,'' he said.

So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ''This is easy. He did it, so can I!"
The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer.
The bartender remarked, ''You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman!'''

That day I go up north with Linpeh to Ipoh to eat Taugeh chicken lice, then on the way kambing back to KL he suddenly shouted ...

Linpeh : OI!!! STOPPTHE CAR!!!
Me : What??!!
Linpeh : STOP THE CAR!!!
Me : HERE? In the middle of nowhere? you crazy??!!! no way!
Linpeh : Stop the car or i will shit in your car!
Me : MCH!!! ok ok I stop!!! I stop!!! Stop where ?
Linpeh : There! u see the bush there?
Me : Ok ok now get the outta my car and go shit in the bush!

Linpeh jumped outta my car and run as fast as he could into the bush while i stay in the car and wait for him to finish his business ....

A few minits later my phone ring ... I see see its Linpeh.

Me : Halo! You shit that time need to chat with someone only can come out izzit?
Linpeh : Oi! Your car got tissue paper anot?
Me : Tarak! Sand paper u ngam anot?
Linpeh : Mahai dun play!!
Me : Really tarak wan leh! In my boot there really got sand paper wan!
Linpeh : *** la! no tisue how to wipe?
Me : Err ... use leaves la!!!
Linpeh : Mch! no leaves on the ground la! if wanna use leave kenot climb tree naked ledi! Lu siao ar??!!
Me : Aiyaks! lidat ... lidat ... ermm
Linpeh : ***! Faster help me think la!
Me : OH!! use money!!! you got one ringgit anot?
Linpeh : Got! Then?
Me : Use it to wipe la!
Linpeh : Use one ringgit to wipe?? U sure can anot??!!!
Me : Can la!!! last time my relative also done something lidis before geh! trust me!
Linpeh : MCH! if you bruff me then u die!

Few minutes later I can see Linpeh emerges from the bush ... something dont seems very right, the way hes walking is somehow wrong .... so i got down of the car and asked him ...

Me : Oi your shit too hard your ******* koyakED izzit?
Linpeh : No lah! this time my shit soft soft sticky sticky one! got undigested taugeh sommo!
Me : Then why u walk lidat wan??
Linpeh : Niahma! all thanks to you la!
Me : Why me?
Linpeh : You asked me to use one Ringgit to wipe my ass lar ***!
Me : Yar ... dint that do the trick? If one ringgit not enuff then u use 2 ringgit la!
Linpeh : Mahai!!! 2 Ringgit??!! I where got so much coins??!!!