As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you
and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me
unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed
still leaves a tingling sensation in me. You appeared from nowhere and
shamelessly without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you
sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any
guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched
for you, but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights
events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing,
making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for
you...you darn... mosquito!

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were drinking in a
bar one night, and decided to buy tickets in the bar's
weekly raffle. They each bought a $1 ticket.

When the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. The
brunette won the first prize, a year's supply of
gourmet spaghetti. The redhead won the second prize, a
month's supply of gourmet spaghetti. The blonde won
the booby prize, a toilet brush.

The next week they got together at the bar. The
redhead asked the others how they were enjoying their
prizes.

"Great," said the brunette, "I love spaghetti, and
this stuff is fabulous!"

"And how do you like your prize?" they asked the blonde.

"Not so good," the blonde replied, "I think I'm going
to switch back to paper."

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room
and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Raju, what are you doing?"

Raju replied, "Driving to Durban!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Raju's room just
as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks,
"Well Raju,how are you doing?"

Raju says, "I just arrived in Durban"

"Great," replied the nurse.

The nurse leaves Raju's room and goes across
the hall into Balwanth's room, and finds Balwanth
sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.

Shocked, she asks, "Balwanth, what are you doing?!"

Balwanth says, "I'm screwing Raju's wife while he's
in Durban! Can't you tell?"

Two teenagers were out on a date. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the
alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."

She replied, "Fifteen bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you
LOOK at it."

They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her panties, and he gets down on
his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out
his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair...
it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."

She says, "Thank you."

The boy says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

She told him, "Go ahead."

He asks, "Can you PEE through all that hair?"

She replied, "Of course."

Her boyfriend says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire. Put out the
brushfire!"

I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long, and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.
Now I ride on escalators all the time.

=======================================

A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more
frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about
ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided
to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop.

One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as
usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned he
crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her
husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair
arm.

"Want some of this?" she purred.

"Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your underwear."