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 Some jokes I've got from forward email ..., Maybe you've read before

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SUSchewxy
post Apr 29 2004, 01:33 AM

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I used Einstein's bloody theory and got full biggrin.gif:D:D
SUSchewxy
post May 6 2004, 11:43 PM

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OK! Cue taken! I will go excersize
SUSchewxy
post May 11 2004, 09:12 PM

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PWNED!!!!
SUSchewxy
post May 24 2004, 04:26 PM

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What lar..
Bill Gates was born in 1955
SUSchewxy
post Jul 15 2004, 09:23 PM

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Better not let Badawi Rocks see this
SUSchewxy
post Aug 2 2004, 06:51 AM

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doh.gif doh.gif posted before, but never fails to amuse
SUSchewxy
post Aug 4 2004, 11:12 AM

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Dun understand some.. American English.. worse than Manglish
SUSchewxy
post Aug 30 2004, 08:08 AM

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I oso wanna declare here. Me no a understand lu punya Englise
SUSchewxy
post Sep 3 2004, 04:07 PM

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A housewife takes a lover during the day
> while her husband is at
> work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding
> in the closet. Her
> husband came home unexpectedly. She decided to hide
> her lover in the closet.
> Now the boy has company ......
> Boy: "Dark in here."
> Man: "Yes it is."
> Boy: "I have a baseball."
> Man: "That's nice."
> Boy: "Want to buy it?"
> Man: "No, thanks."
> Boy: "My dad's outside."
> Man: "OK, how much?"
> Boy: "$250."
> In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
> and the mom's lover are
> again in the closet together.
> Boy: "Dark in here."
> Man: "Yes, it is."
> Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
> Man: "How much?"
> Boy: "$750."
> Man: "Fine."
> A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
> your glove. Let's go
> outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I
> can't. I sold them." The
> father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The
> son says, "$1,000." The
> father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
> friends like that. That's
> way more than those two things cost. I'm gonna take
> you to church and make
> you confess." They go to church and the father
> alerts the priest, and makes
> the little boy sit in the confession booth and
> closes the door.
> The boy says, "Dark in here."
> The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
SUSchewxy
post Oct 14 2004, 04:22 PM

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QUOTE(hyperx @ Oct 14 2004, 12:48 PM)
Malam Pertama Pasangan muda yang sama-sama masih perawan akhirnya menikah.
Masing-masing gugup ketika menghadapi malam pertama,
namun tidak ada yang mau mengaku atau bertanya kepada pasangannya tentang apa yang harus dilakukan.
Didera kebingungan,
si pengantin lelaki bertanya kepada ayahnya "Ayah, apa yang harus saya lakukan?"
"Telanjanglah dan naik ke tempat tidur", jawab ayahnya.
Kemudian ia melakukan apa yang disarankan ayahnya.
Si pengantin perempuan terperanjat setengah mati melihat kelakuan suaminya,
ia kemudian bertanya kepada ibunya. "Telanjanglah dan ikutlah suamimu", saran ibunya.
Setelah berbaring beberapa lama, si pengantin lelaki pergi ke luar bilik dan bertanya lagi kepada ayahnya, "Apa lagi yang harus saya lakukan?"
lalu ayahnya menjawab, "Lihatlah tubuh isterimu. Kemudian masukkan bahagian tubuhmu yang paling keras ke tempat isterimu kencing!"
Beberapa saat kemudian, giliran si pengantin perempuan bertanya kepada ibunya. "Apa yang harus saya lakukan?"
Ibunya balik bertanya, "Apa yang sedang dilakukan suamimu?"
Setengah mengeluh si pengantin perempuan berkata, "Ia sedang membenamkan kepalanya ke dalam mangkuk tandas!"
*
The effects of not viewing porn???!
SUSchewxy
post Jan 24 2005, 09:30 PM

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Applies only when you're female or the bomoh is gay
SUSchewxy
post Feb 22 2005, 09:20 AM

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you mean solitaire was a real life card game?
SUSchewxy
post Mar 3 2005, 12:55 PM

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QUOTE(whiteknight @ Mar 3 2005, 12:04 PM)
tis one is unbeliveable...the student prove tht wit religion, u r tougher... thumbup.gif

i guess tis happens overseas, right?
*
I can use the exact same words.. but the professor wins instead
SUSchewxy
post Mar 4 2005, 06:11 AM

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QUOTE(travis_ckf @ Mar 4 2005, 12:41 AM)
Seorang lelaki bernama Baskon yang baru saja menjalani malam pertama bersama isterinya, menceritakan tentang kemusykilannya kepada seorang kawan, Abon. "Wah, gila juga! Ternyata memang benar," ujar Baskon. "Kebiasaan yang sering kita lakukan ketika masih bujang, boleh berulang pada malam pengantin." "Sebenarnya apa yang berlaku semalam?" si Abon ingin tahu. "Begini. Kau kan tau kalau sewaktu bujang aku suka melanggan perempuan." "Ho oh." "Nah, terus malam pengantin semalam, setelah selesai melakukan hubungan, tanpa sengaja aku memberikan wang RM 100 pada isteri aku." "Wah, gila kau!" Abon terperanjat. "Bagaimana? Isteri kau marah?" "Itulah masalahnya," Baskon menjawap. "Dalam keadaan separuh sedar dia menjawab, Terima Kasih Bang, datang lagi ya... !"

laugh.gif
*
doh.gif doh.gif doh.gif Wife hooker pula
SUSchewxy
post Mar 8 2005, 12:29 PM

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ewwww.

but funny.. biggrin.gif
SUSchewxy
post Apr 5 2005, 08:13 PM

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QUOTE(KLL @ Apr 2 2005, 09:03 PM)
What is Clearasil??  sad.gif  sad.gif  sad.gif
*
Somekind of acne cleansing stuff
SUSchewxy
post Apr 24 2005, 08:51 PM

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QUOTE(zimhibikie @ Apr 21 2005, 09:41 AM)
Dear  Abby:
        My husband is a liar and a cheat.  He has cheated on me from the  beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything.  What's worse,  everyone knows he cheats on me.  It is so humiliating.
        Also, since he lost his job five years ago he hasn't even looked for a new  one.  All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and jokes with  his  pals, while I have to work to pay the  bills.
        Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian. What should I  do?
Signed,
    Clueless




Dear  Clueless:
    Grow up and dump him.  For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York.

ACT LIKE IT!

Signed,
    Abby
*
QUOTE(KLL @ Apr 21 2005, 11:15 AM)
This really [FONT=Optima][SIZE=14][COLOR=red]SUCKS!
*
I bet you're politically ignorant and do not know who is Hillary Clinton..


BTW: Zimhibikie.. Clinton thinks oral sex is not sex
SUSchewxy
post May 23 2005, 08:03 PM

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QUOTE(soccergod @ May 23 2005, 07:18 PM)
Just got it from a friend
* Pemuda Hensem Bertanya, Pengembala Tua
Bangka
Menjawab

Temubual seorang pemuda dengan pakcik gembala
biri-biri. ...
Pemuda : Boleh saya tanya beberapa soalan tak?
Pakcik : Boleh aje...
Pemuda : Berapa jauh biri-biri ni berjalan setiap
hari?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?"
Pemuda : Yang putih.
Pakcik : Kalau yang putih lebih kurang enam
kilometer setiap hari.
Pemuda : Yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...
Pemuda : Berapa banyak plak rumput biri-biri ni
makan setiap hari?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?
Pemuda : Yang putih?
Pakcik : Ah, yang putih lebih kurang empat kilo
rumput setiap hari.
Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...
Pemuda : Berapa banyak bulu yang mereka
hasilkan
setiap tahun?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?
Pemuda : Yang putih?
Pakcik : Aaa...yang putih sekitar enam kilo bulu
setiap tahun.
Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...
Pemuda : Kenapa pakcik membezakan biri-biri
pakcik
yg putih dgn yg hitam,padahal jawapan semuanya
sama aje?
Pakcik : Mestilah...sebab biri-biri yang putih itu
pakcik yang punye.
Pemuda : Ooo, gitu ke...abis tu yang hitam tu sapa
punye?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...
*
wtf?? stating the obvious
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