For the ciggy kaki

I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends, Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem high country
I Always carry a MildSeven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name Was YSL
We got married by Perillys, the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, "You are a Rough Rider!!!"
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered" I want MORE!!!!"
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me if I want to enter her Gudang Garam.
She said... depan belakang puas, barulah Sampoerna!!

The Happy Statues

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one
day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them,
"Um, you have fifteen minutes left, "Would you care to do it again?"He asks her. "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you sh*t on its head."