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Some jokes I've got from forward email ..., Maybe you've read before
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Dr.Zoidberg
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 Feb 5 2005, 08:21 PM
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Getting Started
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Not sure wherther this has been posted b4..got it from friendster bulletin.
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person : ANNIE BUDDY, ANNIE WAN, NOE
WAN, SUM BUDDY ?
Lee Sum Wan : Hello can i speak to Annie
Wan
Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan : No, i want to speak to Annie
Wan!
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is
this?
Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to
talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to
talk to anyone! But whats this
urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie
Wan that our brother was involved in an
accident. Noe Wan got injured and now
Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right
now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no
one was sent to the hospital from the
accident that is'nt an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but i dont have
time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori : Im Sori.
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now
give me your name!
Mr Sori : Im Sori!!
Lee Sum Wan : I dont like your tone of voice
Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already Im Sori!
Im Sori!! Im SORI!!! you didnt even give me
your name!
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before i'm Sum Wan!
Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father
is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big
position i! n the company. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori : Oh i'm so scared(sarcastically).
Look i dont care about yr uncle he's a
nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog
and holding an important position in the
company.
Lee Sum Wan : No, Avery Buddy just married
my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't
work there.
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of
yr aunt screws everybody and i also know
that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sis!
Mr. Sori : I don't know which one is yr sis!
Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got
work to do and if i'm feeling mischievious i'll
broadcast it on the P.A system saying.
"Attention, someone called and said that
anyones brother just got involved in an
accident. But not to worry no one go! t injured
and no one was sent to the hospital. But
everyone is going to the hospital anyways.
The father maybe a somebody but if u're their
uncle, u're a nobody. "how bout that!?
Toot....Toot....Toot.................
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Dr.Zoidberg
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 Feb 27 2005, 09:44 AM
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Getting Started
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haih, just like me...wrong thread QUOTE(Protoss-Zealot @ Feb 26 2005, 09:22 AM) Finally I move into new office room!!  lucky no web cam, if not... during video conference then....(you know la). QUOTE cannot imagine if drop pen at middle...then  hav to get hands dirty haha |
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Dr.Zoidberg
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Feb 27 2005, 11:51 AM
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Getting Started
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QUOTE(Protoss-Zealot @ Feb 27 2005, 10:14 AM) How to become rich   "A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars." HAHA.... Hope he doesn't invest them in more apples...or he'll be spending his entire life time polishing them. |
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Dr.Zoidberg
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Mar 8 2005, 12:23 PM
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Getting Started
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QUOTE(seecs @ Mar 5 2005, 11:24 AM) I received this email today. Hope never post before  CODE A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization...
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."  Haha.... better don't drop any spoons.. |
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