dunno if this one has been posted before. Got this from website few days ago. I re-write it since i forgot the website name


BILL GATES IN HEAVEN

One day Bill Gates died and to everyone surprise, went to heaven. Heaven was not like what he had expected. He has to wait in "Heaven's Waiting Area" for his turn. It's an area consists of thousands of people and he has to stay in tent for 3 weeks. After which, a young man with a T-Shirt labeled "Team Peter" go and see him.

Man: Hi. My name is Gabriel from Team Peter. No no.. I know what you're thinking about but i'm not Gabriel the Archangel.

Bill: Is this really heaven? Where's St. Peter? Where's the pearly gate?

Man: Geez.. You should consider this. Right now earth has almost 6 billion in population and regardless of the time zone, they have about 10.000 deaths every minute. When God said "go forth and multiply" He didn't mention "like rabbit"!! So since it's impossible for St. Peter himself to meet all those people, he franchised his business to us Team Peter. Now he's sitting in the headquarter thinking about the next business expansion.

Gates: But what take it so long? I've been waiting here for ages

Man: Yeah.. you have to fill up the Heaven Registration Form, understand the privacy policy and the terms and condition. After that then only we can proceed your form. As you see, everything is a paper-based here. Anyway let me check your identity. Your name please? Surname first

Gates: Gates, Bill

Man: Ok let me see... OMG!! You owned a pretty big software company in earth isn't it? We've got a job for you here!

Gates: Yeah but what do you mean with job? Do we need to work in heaven?

Man: Of course!! There's no free lunch. You go to counter #23 to see Abraham. No no... not "that" Abraham of course.

So after walking for miles, Bill Gates found the counter #23 he's been assigned into.

Gates: Hi. I'm Bill Gates and this Gabriel fella told me you might need me.

Abraham: Oh yes yes. Ok let's get to the point. I want you to become the coordinator of our new information center. As you see, everything up till now is using an ineffective paper method. So we have this new information center where the heaven registrant could send their registration by email. Come with me. I'll show you.

After walking for a while, Bill Gates saw a very big information center. Even bigger than the one he had in Seattle. There are countless rows of supercomputer and sophisticated network architecture.

But after looking around he realized that everything is running on MACINTOSH!! Feels like he can't stand spending the rest of eternity with a product from company he had been trying to crush for his entire previous life, he asked to Abraham.

Gates: It's amazing but why did you run Macintosh here? Where's Windows Server? Where's Microsoft Office? Where's Internet Explorer??

Abraham: Of course!! We run macintosh here because it's Heaven here. If you want to find microsoft-based system, GO TO HELL!!


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BILL GATES MARRIAGE

One day Bill Gates get married with the woman who is now his wife. When they made love for the first time, then only his wife realize why he named his company "Microsoft"


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TWO MINUTES AGO

Bill Gates died and he was rejected to enter heaven. St. Peter says that he has nothing good in his life record. He tried to crush many company and thus create unemployment. He was greedy enough to try to dominate the world's PC market. These are followed by numerous sins and no good deed at all. Hearing this, Bill Gates get angry and argue, "I also have some good deed in my life. One day i was driving in my car when i saw this young girl was about to be raped by a gang of around 20 people. I stopped my car. I found the nearest stone and i throw that stone to the head of who i think is the gang leader. As soon as he turned his head, i kicked his balls and when he was down, i stepped on his face and split it. I was then tell the rest of the gang member, 'Who dares to face me may step forward! I'll kick his ass right away'". Impressed by the story, St. Peter checks his file again and says, "That's impressive. When was that happen? I can't find it in the file".

Bill Gates says, "Just two minutes ago".


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IMPRESSIVE WRITER

There's this one young writer. His dream is to write something that will be read by millions of people. He wanted to be able to bring up people's emotion with his writings. He would like to see people screaming, crying, wailing out loud upon reading his writings even if it's just a short one.

He's now working in Microsoft writing the error message.


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QUOTE OF THE DAY

One Apple a day keep Bill Gates away


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Hope you enjoy it the way i do :D