Sitting Swimmingly...

Three guys enter a special swimming contest whereby each contestant is born disabled. The first has no arms. The second hasno legs and the third has no body, just a head.

The prospect of the race was a bit ridiculous, but the three had all trained and such a contest was historic, so many people gathered to watch.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool.

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. Everybody applauds, (except the guy with no arms, of course.)

The guy with no legs can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides, with all good sportsmanship, to dive down to the bottom of the pool to rescue his fellow competitor. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where upon the head starts coughing and sputtering.

Eventually the head catches his breath. He takes a moment and then begins to fume. His face red and steaming, he turns to the crowd and shouts:

"Three years I've spent learning to swim with my ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some jerk puts a swimming cap on me!"

*Ring-Ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi, honey, this is daddy," ... "Is your mommy near the phone?"

"No, daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank,"

After a brief pause, daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle
Frank, honey!"

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with mommy, right
now!"

"Uh, Okay, then...here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone,
run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and yell out to mommy and Uncle
Frank that daddy's car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, daddy."

"And what happened?" he asks.

"Well, mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on
and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying out the
front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh my God!!! And what about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared
and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool... but he must have
forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of
the swimming pool and now he's all real dead too."

***long pause***

Then daddy says, "Swimming pool??? Wait a minute... is this 328-9874?"