i tot was "my co** soft"

Is it??
Hahaha... maybe can be interprate in many ways

"R" for racing.

What kind of drivers are you?

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: IPOH driver

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette: KEPONG driver.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator: JOHOR driver.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap: BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA .

7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on
steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!!

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window: KARAK HIGHWAY ; KUANTAN driver.

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE....PUCHONG driver!

10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can
in the middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for drivers...... welcome to PENANG !

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5 seconds. WOMAN DRIVER!

haha WOMAN DRIVER..this one i didnt see before..

> > New Vocab from Oxford Dictionary (Singapore Edition)
> >
> > 1) LILY - adverb. extremely, really.
> > "Wah, you lily can sing well ah!"
> >
> > 2) VALLEY - adverb. extremely (same with lily).
> > "Look! My Versachee belt, valley nice hor?"
> >
> > 3) GORGES - adj. stunningly beautiful, normally
> > found with valley.
> > "Wah! Ah Beng's girlflan is valley gorges leh!"
> >
> > 4) CORAL - verb. to bicker.
> > "Why, you not happy, ah? Want to coral, is it?"
> >
> > 5) REEF - (normally followed with coral) to argue
> > with.
> > "You lily wantto coral reef me ah?"
> >
> > 6) ALTITUDE - adjective. a disagreeable
> > demeanour. "
> > "Ah Lian lily got a bad altitude ploblem".
> >
> > 7) CIRRUS - adjective. certain.
> > "You cirrus or not? Dun bruff!"
> >
> > 8) CANOPY - phrase. impossible.
> > "He bought new handphone? Canopy lah! Where
> > got money?"
> >
> > 9) OLDLADY - adjective. completed.
> > "Wah...you finish oldlady ah."
> >
> > 10) SUIT - verb. to project forward.
> > "Suit! Suit! See goalkeeper come out oldlady."
> >
> > 11) SOW - verb. to reveal.
> > "Sow me, sow me your new ting."
> >
> > 12) LOAD - noun. a path normally made up of
> > gravel & tar.
> > "We go Orchard Load leh."
> >
> > 13) BLINK - verb. deliver, send.
> > "What you blink for me? Sow me, sow me."

something that i got from email

A commercial?

a rare good laugh from an email....
dono if its a repost

That Pappu.

damn that pappu is so funny

haha pappu..read b4 but still laughed away just now!

lol. but why cant u clean the mail for easier reading

CARA-CARA MENGELAK DARIPADA TERKENA SELSEMA BURUNG
==================================================
Info ini ditujukan bagi kaum lelaki ataupun yang mempunyai saudara/kerabat
yang biasa ada burung. Bagi mereka yang tidak ada burung juga digalakkan
membaca panduan tips ini sebagai langkah berjaga-jaga,
kerana jangkitan burung ini amat berbahaya, Berikut ini pandunannya:
1. Jangan bermain dengan burung.
2. Jangan memegang burung atau digaru (terutama di khalayak ramai).
3. Jangan sekali-kali dibiarkan sangkar burung terbuka.
4. Jangan biarkan burung masuk ke sangkar lain.(merbahaya..)
5. Apabila burung dalam keadaan tidur biarkan ia tidur,
jangan sekali-kali ditarik kepala/lehernya untuk membangunkan,
ada masanya burung akan bangun sendiri.
6. Jangan mencabut/mencukur bulu yang ada disekitar burung
(supaya burung tidak kelihatan lucu....)
7. Jangan sekali-kali menghisap kepala burung
(dikhuatiri burung akan menjadi mual terus muntah ....)
8. Paling penting..jangan masukkan plastik ke kepala burung...tak rasa apa-apa beb..

HAHa...nice one~!

What They are Saying on the Internet Automobile Forums

The typical post goes something like this...

Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?

Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?

Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.

Mustang forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.

Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.

Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.

VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

Yugo Forum
- When's the last time yours ran?

Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH

Miata forums
- Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)

Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?

Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)

BMW 7-series forum
- Where to get service on my Rolex?

Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.

Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?

Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.

Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?

Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.

Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and out fast.

Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.

Jaguar
- Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?

Mini
- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics)

Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather?

McLarean F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

Dodge Minivan forum
- Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be?

Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas.

Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?

Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.

Chevy pickup forum
- How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck?

===========================================================

You might be addicted to racing if:


* You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
* You take your helmet along when you go to a car dealership for a test-drive.
* Every time you go to the grocery store you feel compelled to beat your previous best time.
* When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
* When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you think 'off the track.'
* You change engine oil every other week. You check tire pressures every other day.
* You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
* You once had an argument with your wife over whether you should pay the mortgage on time or get those new heads while they were on sale.
* You push you cart through a proper line in the grocery store.
* You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
* You bought a tow vehicle instead of braces for your kid.
* You and your wife go house hunting and you never actually get inside the house because you're checking out the garage for 220v.
* You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
* Your wife doesn't understand why you need three sets of tires for your car.
* Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
* You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
* You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Gentlemen, start your engines!"
* You're registered for wedding gifts with Edelbrock and Griggs.
* Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s and aluminum rack bushings and your 'significant other' knows what these are.
* Your home library consists of auto parts catalogs, books written by F1 drivers, anything about Carroll Shelby, and 400 car magazines.
* People know you by your car number or your "offs" -- "Oh, you were the one stuck in the mud in Turn 5 last weekend!"
* Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
* Your friends have never seen your hair actually combed. They only know it's color as "greasy."
* Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
* You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
* A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Corn."
* You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
* You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
* You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.
* You can't stand understeer.
* You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
* You hate long distance driving vacations, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
* You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
* You save broken car parts as " mementos".
* You've tried synthetic oil and racing gas in your lawn mower.
* You've tweaked your riding lawn mower trying to improve its cornering ability.
* Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
* You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
* You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots using the Emergency Brake to turn.
* You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
* When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".
* You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.
* You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
* You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute.
* You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview mirror afterwards.
* After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why, is there a race there?"

============================================================

You Know You've Gone too Far with Your Car When ...

* The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull into their bay.
* You can't drive your car in the rain.
* Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
* You are afraid to drive your car.
* You spend more on tires than on food.
* You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
* You see a picture of your car taped to the bulletin board at your local police station.
* You have to go to the track to buy gas.
* Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
* You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
* You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
* You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
* You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
* Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
* You need parachute braking.
* Your 'Significant other' won't even ride in the car.
* There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
* Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened
* Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums.
* You wear earplugs in your car.
* You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
* Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
* Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
* Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
* You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile".


This post has been edited by WhitE LighteR: May 22 2006, 01:37 AM

1. England has madcow,
Hong Kong has Macau,
Russia has Moscow,
S'pore has 2 famous cows-
'Cow-peh and cow-bo'
2. When ur life is in darkness......
Pray 2 God and ask Him 2 free u from darkness..... and
If u r still in darkness..Pls pay ur TNB bill.
3. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.
4. An angry china man entered a shop and shouted :
Where's my free gift with this cooking oil?
Shopkeeper : What free gift??
China man : Oi, here got put "Cholesterol FREE!"
5. If u need ADVICE, SMS ME,
If u need HELP, E-MAIL ME,
IF U NEED MONEY, The number you
have just dialled is not in service, thank you

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia..

He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the
hotel's coffee house.

A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him &
started a casual conversation.
Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The
crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into
croissants & sell them across to Singapore."


The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean
listened in silence.
Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit
for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a
container, recycle them, transform them into jam,..... before we sell it
across to Singapore."


This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia?"
Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"
Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"
Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."
Singaporean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used
them?"
Malaysian : "Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away."
Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly puts
them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum &
sell them across to Malaysia,... & that's the real reason why we banned
chewing gum in Singapore."

Subject: TEKA-TEKI YANG PERLU DIBERI PENAMPAR !!!...





Esther Tammy De Costa




1) Lubang ape yang rasanye hangat,nikmat dan nyaman?
Answer: LUBANGun pagi2, tarik selimut pas tu tido balik.

2) Minyak ape yang disukai oleh lelaki?
Answer: MINYAKsikan pertandingan bolasepak Liga-M

3) Kuih ape yang bungkusnya di dalam, isinya di luar?
Answer: Kuih salah bikin.

4) Binatang ape power Karate?
Answer: Kuda belang.cube kira brape black belt dia ade.

5) Siape yang menemukan dompet kulit?
Answer: Yang menemukan dompet kulit tersebut tolong pulangkan
kepada saye.

7) Pintu ape yang walaupun dengan 10 org pun tak leh nak tolak?
Answer: Pintu yang ade tulis 'TARIK'

8) Saya ade 3 kepala,4 tangan dan 5 kaki...siapakah saya?
Answer: Pembohong...

9) Apa dia 'Jauh di mata, dekat di hati'?
Answer: Usus

10) Binatang ape yang seluruh anggota tubuhnya kat kepala?
Answer: Kutu rambut

11) Nenek sape jalannya meloncat-loncat?
Answer: Neneknye si katak

12) Knape lelaki jarang kene penyakit anjing gila?
Answer: Sbb lelaki ni kan 'buaya'

13) Ape beza sekretari baik ngan sekretari kurang baik?
Answer: - Sekretari baik..................'Selamat pagi tuan'
- Sekretari kurang baik...........'Dah pagi ni tuan'

14) Ape persamaan Michael Jordan ngan Michael Jackson?
Answer: Dua-dua tak kenal korang...hehe

15) Tukang ape yang kalau dipanggil, die menjenguk ke atas?
Answer: Tukang gali kubur

16) Nak mencari sikit punye susah, bile dah dapat buang, ape
bendanya?
Answer: Tahi hidung

17) Ape persamaan kain jemuran ngan telefon?
Answer: Dua-dua kalau dah 'kringgg' bole diangkat...

18) Knape pokok kelapa kat depan rumah harus ditebang?
Answer: Mestilah kene tebang, sape nak cabut pokok kelapa ...gile
ape...

19) Gajah terbang dengan ape?
Answer: Dengan susah payah......

Not realy from email but since there are no where else to share except to create a new thread so i post here instead.