First of all, this is in no way, intended to offend anyone okay. I don’t understand why some people will still be so "terasa" when I already said MOST guys, instead of ALL… >_<

It's true: "You hurt those who adore you, and adore those who hurt you."

How sad is this? I know I've made my fair share of mistakes too. I'm most afraid of sending the wrong signal and causing misunderstanding/hurt to the other person. So I try not to let my flirty side be too wild. And to be honest, as open-minded as I am, I don't just go around flirting with every Tom, d*** or Harry I see... If you think I've flirted with you before, then consider yourself lucky. I draw the line with most people k. In fact, I can even list out those very few guys I've actually "flirted" with. Also, define the term "flirt", because some seem to think that it's a bad thing, while some do it for fun. Me? I'm open-minded, so I'm okay with it, as long as no one gets hurt in the process (I've never even been flirty or cheeky like this before I came back to LYN again a few months ago, really, this is a totally new side of me which I also discovered not too long ago - guess I'm just enjoying the freedom of being single, getting to know more people)... One more thing: Open-minded =/= Easy.

But anyhow, for you to play around with my feelings like that... That, I really cannot accept. 'Cause I do my best not to play with anyone's feelings. People always make fun of those who look for love online, but I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. I've had my fair share of good, bad and ugly moments, but it's the experience that has brought me to where I am today.

Look, you guys can think and say whatever you want. But please do not ever toy with me or my feelings again. I may be "easy come easy go" now, as I don't want to let myself be in misery for too long (as laws of attraction wouldn't allow that too), yet, I still have feelings k. Plus, there are some things that you don't simply just joke around with. Seriously, people usually trash the guys at LYN, but I've actually known a few decent guys from here. So, please don't start ruining the impression that I have of you in my mind. (I don't want sebab nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga also...)

Sorry, maybe I have often been on the end who rejects, so now I finally know how sucky it feels like to be rejected and worse, fooled around with. Perhaps this is the bad karma I have now, for turning down the nice guys. I should really go reflect on this...

But then again, how do you even tell, if he's the right guy? Just like how I previously made myself unavailable for ex-Mr.Boo, but it turned out that he wasn't even the guy I was looking for. And now, I don't want to rush into anything anymore, but people keep sending mixed signals. Why do you do that if you are not interested at all? Sighs... I don't even know what the heck is going on... Okay lah everyone, I don't want to flirt around already. Looks like it's not fun at all, being trolled at like that. To me actually, I wasn't even flirting as in really flirting, it's just me being cheeky, with guys whom I think could accept it. But they were just fooling around after all. And I'm the fool again. The ones really interested, are either too shy, doesn't have enough courage or just too noob. I give up already. (Sorry to those whom I've friendzoned or brozoned, because I really can't accept younger guys, or for whatever reason I've actually friendzoned you...)

I'm actually commitment-phobic, and worse, don't fall in love easily. Once I fall, I fall hard. And I'm a one-man girl. I have yet to find that man now, which is why I'm still being cheeky. Or else, I really wouldn't be like this already. Confession: Ex-Mr.Boo was mad at me for being "too friendly" (read: flirty) with other guys. I just didn't know how to tell him that I still found it hard to be committed to him, because my heart just wasn't in it. But fortunately, we were able to amicably call it quits. Looks like flying solo will be the best option for me. Really, if I have fallen in love with someone, I wouldn't want to flirt with anyone else, but him. But till now, still can't find that someone who can be on the same page with me... I thought I found him, but I guess he's just another guy who is either too confused with himself or sending the wrong signals only.

But to the guys and girls out there, please don't ever send any misleading signals k... If you are just being nice, then at least let that person know. I used to know how to differentiate all this, but how come now I can't even tell properly anymore.

It's already a few times where guys actually had enough guts to tell me that they don't dare to go after me, but didn't have enough guts to ask me out. Wadapak. I'm that scary izzit? Crap, must be my own problem... Or else, why did it take an American Caucasian to win my heart back then? But even that, love doesn't conquer all. How sad and unfortunate life can be... Oh well...

Okay lah. I shall go insaf now. This is just too much already...

If you actually took your time reading this, then thank you. But that's all I wanna say for now... Must be the longest wall of text from me... Kali ini dalam sejarah...

It's not that I'm explaining myself, but those who actually read this, I hope that you at least know me a bit better now... I don't know how this will affect your impression about me, but I actually don't mind people knowing about my past (although certain things are too personal to tell in the public of course) or present, because it's all the things that have made me who I am today. The me today, is the one you should look at, not the past me. So... yeah... Regrets & mistakes, we all have them. We all come with a baggage, I just need someone who can accept mine... Why now I prefer hanging out with you pipu? It's because you pipu only see the me now, unlike my old-time friends who sometimes still judge me based on my past. I've told a few of you before, had you known me a few years earlier, you probably wouldn't even like me. Really... But I've changed and I'm happy with who I am now. I think from how long this thread has lasted, you pipu actually do like me too, right? I am really, really blessed to have you pipu in my life now... I believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason, at a right time and a right place. For now, you pipu are like my "other" family.

I just feel that I need to let this out. Now I'm okay. Thanks once again, for reading, for your support, and for everything... -Peace out-