I had a bad experience throughout my whole maternity. I meet two bad confinement lady.

The first confinement is recommend by my mil, she knw this aunty thru her friend. This aunty call elaine, she is from kepong with medium size body, ard 160cm ht & with a boy cut hair. She is a very talkactive aunty with loud voice. My baby had admitted in hospital for 5 days cause of GBS bacteria, so im alone at home with her at the first 5 days. She is enjoying in my hse like the master of the hse, watching astro & talking phone loudly..she had a bad cough from the first day she came, so we ask her to see doctor but she rejected & say she is recovering soon...after baby had discharge from the hospital, her cough is getting serious, so doc had recommend me take over the job of taking care my baby as my baby just recover from the serious lung infection but im too weak to take care her that time coz my wound are not fully recover. After taking care for two days, as we are newly parents, we got no experience in taking care baby & baby keep crying in the night.. I almost collapse, so my husband ask her to see doc again..then she answer with a very rude way ' why dont you change confinement lady?' we are so pissed off with her answer. So we decided to change confinement lady. After she left, we found she never take good care of our baby, my baby cord getting red, it had beed almost one week but baby cord still not yet dry, baby stomach was full with air & she never clean baby private part nicely. We had pay her the balance of her salary & she dare to request ang pow from us. After few days, i get know from my mil that she is going singapore to work, so she is trying to get all excuse to left here. This is really ridiculous!!!

Fine!! The 2nd confinement lady had come, she called wen hui (玟慧), she came from Muar, a 53years old aunty but she look very old. Her movement is quite slow. I tot it will be a good start but.... When she just reach our hse, she is so unhappy that we ask her to take teksi to our hse (we are paying for the teksi fees). As me n my husband is busy with the baby since the first confinement lady had left, so requested her to take teksi to our hse. She keep mumbling me on this.. She is a very STUBBORN lady, she requested everything on her way.. So we just follow as if she can take good care of my baby.. Ok, the nightmare started, she requested so many things..n if we dint get that things done for her, she will keep mumbling until we get it..im in confinement, cant stand the way she keep mumbling but i keep be patient as my baby is on her hand.
-she keep complaining that my hse is double storey & need to add rm200.
-she keep promoting the direct sales she is eating now to me (her sons is selling that product called pharmanex)
-she inisist want me to follow her way & even thu im busy breast feeding my daughter.
-she is not breast feeding friendly
-she will request things from you too, when she knw my mother is coming frm east, she request me to ask my mother to get some seafood for her.. n when she saw something new that i bought for my daughter, she will request me to get one for her too
-bad attitude & hard communication person.
-cant cook nice food.

Im still in confinement now, im so tired with her stupid attitude. But for my baby good, i had to endure all these. Im paying her, but i had to stand her stubborn attitude. This is really ridiculous!!!

Wow....seriously that is very very dangerous. She is already coughing on the first day. IF the aunty had Tuberculosis or influenza, she could easily infect your baby.

Anyway, what is GBS bacteria?

This post has been edited by Blofeld: Dec 16 2012, 08:22 PM

GOSH !!! Looks like the confinement lady is giving you more problem than helping you.
For one thing, does ya parent, husband parent, relative, siblings and husband can help out?
Distribute the confinement task to many people as I'm using this method... I rather not having more problem unless the person is trustworthy to assist.

If you have relatives or parent to assist on selected task, then better engage them ASAP.

Here are the overview of the breakdown task:
- Taking care of baby on daytime [Me or Wife or Parent]
- Taking care of baby on wee hour [Me or Wife]
- Bath baby [My mum]
- Confinement drink [Me or My mum]
- Confinement food [My mother in law]
- Taking care of house when husband need to go out [My mum to assist]
- Guide in burping, colic, feeding and many more on baby [Hospital nurse, relative, parent, Google]

You might be interested on these two information as we manage to
The below link is to understand baby cries which was discovered by Priscilla Dunstan. We manage to narrow down the colic and burping sign and baby are quietly sleeping most of the time (but of course we need some baby cry to tell us what baby is encountering or what baby want).
http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...baby-cries.html

The below link is to understand baby hungry cues as to anticipate when he is going to get hungry
http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...ungry-cues.html

The below link demonstrate some variety way to get baby to sleep. In my case, I use air filter with high settings to generate the noise at midnight.
http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...y-to-sleep.html

The below link explain baby sleeping pattern and how we can slowly adapt to baby sleeping pattern. In my case, I use a schedule pattern especially at wee hour.
http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...ion-part-i.html
http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...on-part-ii.html

Hope this helps...

GBS bacteria is a common bacteria that occurs in women private part. And it's quite harmless to adult, but have to be very watchful if infant have it.

http://incomingincomingbaby.blogspot.com/2...-swab-test.html

seriously, if u have the cash as of today, just go check yourself into the confinement centre, this is so much better compared to last minute getting in any other confinement lady without checking their past experiences...

I am not trying to bias, but i realised these CL mostly are non-educated ppl/background issue and if they have a choice why need to be a CL at this old age. Thats where it leads to attitude problem and act like a gengster.

I do met one also from kepong. The moment i met her face to face, the way she talk to us is already sounded the non-educated ppl, but fine. Body language of a person shows their hidden attittude. After collected my Rm300 downpayment, she called said not able to do my work, and delay to return my deposit. she started all the vulgar words on the phone with me, and turn back said i am rude. I just tell her i am coming over to kepong and look for u, and if possible i will lodge a report and will pay a police officer to assist me hunt u till in the forest. The next day the money bank in to my account.

given a choice, you should go for companies that provide confinement service. These company would train their CL more properly. Also, if you are unsatisfied with their CL, you can always request for exchange. During my time, we had some good and some bad CL from this company that no longer exist. But one of the CL we met is very good and nice. Apparently she mostly go to SG for confinement job because they pay more. A little bit more payment is really worth it unless you really know some CL personally.

maybe a police report will do too?

report against what? negligence? there's not even a single agreement signed when u hire any direct confinement lady

Gbs is group B strep, is a bacteria will hurt new born baby but its will not hurt adult as our antibody is stronger. My baby affected when she pass thru birth canal. If its serious, its could cause death. Luckily we found out our baby affected earlier.. Its not so common in malaysia. Advised pregnant lady took this test on 35-37weeks during their pregnancy.

---

Added on December 18, 2012, 11:59 amAgreed with u that most of the CL is non educated, they have very stubborn attitude also.
I have to said that you are lucky coz that CL not helping u taking care your baby, at least she show her real face earlier.

This post has been edited by Sun1987: Dec 18 2012, 11:59 AM

can i have the Elaine phone number? i think we got the same CL too, broke my MIL slow cooker, didnt cook the confinement food properly, dont know how she bath the baby till baby afraid of taking bath now and so many more, really angry with her, luckily after 2 weeks say she got job at other place and change to another better CL

Sorry to hear abt the bad exp.
1st time become parent, lack of exp, then emotional unstable due to hormone, sleepless nites, somemore have to face these kind of stupid ladies...
i can imagine how difficult it is.. pls be strong and be patient, it will over soon.. hope everything goes well.

What was mentioned here is "typical CL problem", add another one, for you
Chin Meh - 0146365235 - from NS, 60 yo, ask for deposit before start work, likes to brag that she and Lim Foo Yoong are best friends. NEVER NEVER use her service, or you will live to regret it

Why do you need confinement lady? I didn't hire one.

After deliver baby, can share how your side handle the below task..
1) Take care of mum's food/drink
2) Take care of baby
- Feed baby
- Change diaper
- Change cloths
- Bath
- Put massage oil for colic or cream for rash
- Take care baby on midnight hour
3) Take care of household
- Wash mum cloths
- Wash baby cloths

I also dint employ CL, but how i handle as below

1) Take care of mum's food/drink - MIL
2) Take care of baby
- Feed baby - Mother
- Change diaper - Mother/ MIL
- Change cloths - Mother/ MIL
- Bath - MIL ( 1st 2 weeks)
- Put massage oil for colic or cream for rash MIL ( 1st 2 weeks)
- Take care baby on midnight hour - Mother
3) Take care of household
- Wash mum cloths - Washing machine & MIL
- Wash baby cloths - Washing machine & MIL

Last but not least, Must have helpful husband who stand by anything for both women..

indeed there are lots of bad CL out there, have been hearing stories from people around me how headache they were with the CL, sad to hear your story, I just delivered and I understand how you feel, handling baby, change of hormones yet need to deal with bad CL. Luckily i got myself quite a good and nice CL, very helpful and understanding, cook for whole family at the same time take care of baby whole day and night and never complaint, that's why i gave her a BIG ang pao when she leaves, appreciate her service and i do realized how important a good CL is especially for young couple with 1st baby.

1) My mom will cook one soup + vege for me in the morning, she goes off to work. I have slow cooker, I have fruits, I have electric cooker... all these help.
2) taking care of baby is parents job isn't it? so morning me and at night is hubby (for few hours) then midnight is my turn again. I did everything by myself from feeding baby to take bath to taking care of baby at midnight.
3) I hired a part time maid, twice a week, RM40 for 4 hours. She does all the washing and folding. So if i am free during the days without maid, I will help on the clothing. I am sure everybody has washing machine? and bear in mind that, my baby uses cloth diapers.

we are just too pampered and when comes to confinement, MUST HAVE CONFINEMENT lady. sorry, just my thought.

My wife and I hired a CL through Pei Ling confinement centre and it wasn't a nice experience. First auntie came and she was quite cincai in food preparation (ie didn't cook properly the confinement food) but at least she took good care of my baby as far as I know. She wasn't breast feeding friendly as she pressured my wife and I to give the baby formula on the first day of confinement.

AND THEN 2 weeks into the confinement period... Pei Ling centre called and said the auntie got home emergency and need to go back. TIPU lah cos later we found out she got another job. nvm we accept another confinement lady and this one was bad. She always scare me and my wife say you don't know how to hold baby lah, you bath baby wrongly lah but she never teach us 1... Then she would also ask my parents to buy stuff for her. Somemore she will tell you story like how ppl give her ang pau RM1000 and above like hinting to us... Finally when she left she stole stuff from us.

So that's the thing about CLs lah. Who wants to work at old age unless you have to, either need money or her children don't want to take care of her.

Make sense after all... and no wonder most CL prefer to go Singapore or Australia as to earn SGD and AUD.
All the CL that is working here are newbies and gaining experience only unless the experience CL have personal reason
Just do a maths.... a women with below skills can easily earn RM 5k - 7.5k per month (SGD 2k - 3k)

http://www.babycenter.com.sg/a1021151/chin...-nanny-pui-yuet
What are the duties of a confinement nanny?


How much does a confinement nanny cost?


This post has been edited by arthurlwf: Jan 4 2013, 06:03 PM

I want to share also...

My friend's confinement lady curi makan her herbs, chicken essence, bird nest until nose bleeding in second weeks. My friend take care her baby and stay upstairs, CL cook and stay downstair, so she dunno what the CL actually do in downstairs...After confinement, she found all her alcohol (hennesy) , herbs, bird nest habis!!!

I had a bad experience with a CL also. She ran out on me on the 2nd week saying she can't stand my MIL bossing around. She didn't even give us any notice and just insisted on leaving. I still remember it was 12 noon and we were left with no one to help and not enough time to find a replacement CL. It was a traumatic experience for my wife but thank god we managed to pull through

Mind to share what was the agreed $$$ that the confinement lady requested?

Can also share how much that ya CL charge initially?

Rm3.5k ... if your confinement is near to CNY, then the price will DOUBLE!

Waaa... 3.5k and yet steal some goodies in ya friend home

This post has been edited by arthurlwf: Jan 9 2013, 04:13 PM

I think most CL are something wrong somewhr. I still remember my CL. She quite nice at 1st but when my husband not around she starting to make face with me.

She also a bad cook, I was very lucky as my husband know how to cook and take care of me. Even during working time he take his lunch hour and go back to cook & give me a time break.

D CL, just watching movie from morning until she fell sleepy. Even she can take an afternoon nap. Haiz.wasting money paying her.

Better go to the center as least u & d baby are been taking well care. I dun believe in 1 to 1 care. It just rubbish after this CL.

On the issue, CLs watching TV, my two CLs had to "suffer" without TV because I don't have Astro and rarely watch TV anyway. However one of the CLs brought her Ipad and asked for my wifi password! I gave her my wifi password lah cos at first she said she want to use facebook only. Mana tau a day later she ask me to teach her how to get on ASTRO website to watch her chinese drama. Of course I say dunno lah... but then she ask my MIL and my MIL teach her pulak... lol

3k a year ago but I doubt the fees has changed

I was unlucky to hire a lousy confinement lady named Mandy, from Setiawan, Perak during my confinement period. She was recommended by a blogger. I thought she was good so i hire her but i was wrong.

So one man's meat is another man's poison.

Can help to let us know the reason you think she is a lousy confinment lady?
And how much was her charge

Didn't take care of bb in the afternoon. Slept for 3 hrs strAight. Yes, she could sleep. But to to the xtend up to 3 hrs. Even when bb cried n I m bz with my first child, she didn't even take the initiative to help me out. After gettin up, bathed the bb, n straightaway stay in the kitchen for hours.

Love to force feed baby. Keep feeding bb with milk if bb didn't want to sleep at night. When I ask her, why keep feeding bb with milk, she said by didnt want to sleep n hungry. Bb cried didn't mean hungry. Sometimes, bb just want to b carried that's all. She can feed bb 2 times of formula milk within an hour. Each time 2 oz. before that, she already fed bb with breast milk. She said bb cried mean hungry. This is ridiculous!

If bb didn't want to sleep after feeding many times, she would wake me up n asked me to take care instead. I have another child to take care, my purpose of hiring her is to help,with 2nd bb.

Stay in the kitchen for hours. So, I take care of bb all the time. You might think she is bz cooking delicious meal for me, but nope. She fried fish EVERYDAY for me. When I ask her to cook other dishes with the fish, she showed me black face.

Not pro-breastfeeding. If bb cried after feeding, she would start saying, u dun have enuff milk. Bb is still hungry. This is really very irritating. First time mum will definitely feel pressured by Her statement.

Not only that, when I asked her to warm up the breast milk at night for bb instead of using formula. She answered me bluntly, not enuff time. Bb kept crying fr milk. In the end, I have to get up n warm up myself.

What I hate her most is showing me her black face when I ask her not to do something or do something.

She charged rm3500.

If not bcs I have another child to take care n c-sect, I would not hire her. In the end, I didn't get to rest during the confinement bcs she didn't help much.

hi , can pm me her contact.

Please do not take this CL! I just engaged with her this year june and she was very horrible! She claimed she's a buddhist but her mouth is filled with rotten words, speak in evil rude manner with my mother, mother in law.

First day she came to my place, she asked to feed baby with milk powder without even consult me.

Tried to make her life easier so i never asked her to do much housechores as i respect her as an elderly. However, she had too much time to sit around, gossipping and ruining my relationship with my house members.

First 2 weeks was the roughest time for me as im a first time mom. I discharge from the hospital on my first day delivery and I've asked her to come at the same night ans dirst tjing she saw my baby, she kept nagging my baby is yellow while me and my husband told her that the doctor just told us baby is healthy and fine. But she couldnt let it go, she made my mom panic and me and my husband had to go hospital the 2nd day just to check the baby and we've paid rm390 just to listen to the doctor saying baby is all fine and came home mad! The 3rd day she had to kept on saying the same thing and telling my baby's leg curled inwards is very abnormal. We already consulted with the doctor about this , he said its ok.

Because of her, i was so stressed as i wanted to breastfeed and she was not encouraging with her words. My milk came very slowly on the 4th day. And i got no appetite to eat, i cried and refused to take my meals.

When my baby finally direct latch on my breast, she will kept on asking if baby need to bottle feed milk powder, as my current milk is just enough for his few feedings. I told her its ok. Then she said:" aiya baby sucking on is just to sleep, he is not sucking anything one la..." its truly hurtful to hear how a buddhist lady said such mean words.

When my relatives's frends came to visit my baby, she never even asked my permission to carry baby out to show them. After , i told her:"yoke jie, next time when relatives coming , when they wanted to see baby, please asked me too, so that i would acknowledge." Well, i think this is very simple instruction as its about respecting me and im the mother.

The next day , she went to tell my relative that I wouldnt allow her to show my baby to her frends. And it made such a huge misunderstanding as im staying at my relative's house for the moment.

When people came to visit and talk to baby, she would do her favourite thing. Pretend to be the baby and speak back in a mean way.
Example relative A said:" aiyooo ur so cute, are u awake? "
Yoke jie:" yala because of u... u wanna wake me up! U la wake me! Make so much noise! I cant even sleep"

What the hell.. my baby is nothing like you! I really hate when she does that everytime. I guess im bias with her. Well, please rhink before you choose your cl. She's affect and haunt you for this 1 month time.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE HER AS SHE WILL MAKE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ARGUED AND RUINED EVERY FAMILY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER EVIL MOUTH!!! SPEAK WITHOUT EVEN USING HER BRAIN!
Im currently with her for 3rd week, everyday i had to rolerate her for my baby's sake and learn how to be strong and ignore what she had spoken that actually offended so many people until my relative had to asked her to shut up when she want to start gossip again.

BEWARE OF HER! Yoke jie, from Ipoh,staying cheras
017-5023596

Aiyoh, tks for yr information