To tell you the truth, I was really heat up when reading your reply, but when I think of what you said, I can't deny it. What you said is correct. I've never thought it up that way, maybe you are right, I was angry, angry of her new-found life, friends and comfort source that was not ME, I kept on focusing on ME. I've never really stand in her viewpoint, what she was feeling, thinking. Damn, ain't I the freaking selfish *******? But I am really sorry, I just couldn't help it, you know. And about the reporting, its not me that initiate it, its her suggestion, she told me that we need to keep communication but then she also need time to do her thing so she ask me not to find her first but she will take the initiative to find so that she wouldn't be bothered when she is busy, and I agreed. (I am not sure if this is even right, I just don't know)

"You thought you must be the only source of comfort and happiness in her life. You expected her to talk to you and only you when she's stressed out. Even now, when you're trying to be just friends with her, you expect her to conform to your idea of friendship."

I used to think like that, that I am the only source of comfort, but I know I am not. I thoroughly admitted that, because I knew for sure I am not the only one, there are a lots of people and things and God who can be the main source of comfort to her. About the latter sentence, it really hit me hard. Because even I pains me to admit it, its true what you said. Why am I still doing that? Putting the pressure of my expectation onto her? What right do I have? Who the heck am I anyway to do that? Damn....sigh...

But friend, I really thank you for your unbiased reply, I really do. I felt like you really do understand, like you've had experienced it before.