Im 20 years old. I realized that I am very poor in concentrating and remembering things since childhood, but I thought it was normal as a part of growing up and so I just move on, until a few years ago where my emotional health starts to decline. Somehow It made me feel confused, where I lost my grip on anything including time and place. Now I became antisocial, have no self esteem and stressed all the time but not to the point of depression because I have my ways to cope it. I have to rely on someone to get to anywhere because I have no sense of direction at all and I need a companion no matter where I go because Im just too scared to go anywhere by myself. I tried to travel or work by myself, in the end i suffered panic attack the moment i start doing it, even though it is very near to my house. I can hardly make any decision in life therefore I followed my friend to the same college with the same course while I know I am not interested in that course. I struggled just to pass my tests, with triple the effort my friend put to get straight A's. Im currently still a college student, where my cgpa is just above passing rate. My life is a mess.
I realized that I need to do something about it so I requested my father bring me to a psychiatrist. This was a year ago. He diagnosed my condition as depression and so i was prescribed with antidepressants for 6 months. My condition remains unchanged but he keep on insist that I have depression. In the end i gave up and stopped seeing him because it is too tiring as it takes an hours to reach his place and have to wait for hours just to see him. The moment i realized the time and money went wasted i felt sorry for my dad and therefore i never sought for further diagnosis from him.
Recently i cant cope with this condition again and today my dad bought me to a physician. I wasn't able to explain much about my condition and she stopped me. She told me that as a physician she need to detect if any physical abnormality present in me therefore she started a series of diagnosis including the MRI and blood tests. It took me 9 hours total to complete ( most of the time spent waiting ) and it costs my dad a fortune. In the end, the scans show nothing abnormal, and chased me off like that. Once again i felt deep regret for wasting my dads time as he took a day off from his work and the amount of money went burnt. I swore not to mention about my condition to my father again.
Now, im completely clueless about what to do. Im feel so hopeless now and i dont know how to continue my life. What should i do? I desperately need advice..
Btw, sorry for the long post and any grammatical errors.

I do sports, and the blood test is fine.. guess nothing wrong with my physical tho.. btw, both the physician and psychiatrist are very bad..


This post has been edited by zzzlin: Sep 22 2012, 01:20 AM

btw im not depressed.. i have some wonderful friends and we socialize with each other quite often.. i do sports and eat much.. but u noe, when u lived in ur hometown for 10+ years d, and u still cant remember the way to any near place even though it just involve a few turns, u noe ur memory is seriously wrong.. like i said, i've been having this confusion since a long time, it changed my life, i can hold on, but how long can i hold on like this? i cant just rely on anybody till i get old..
somehow i think Ngto's comment makes sense..