You remember that feeling when you were, like, eleven and you were saving up for a bike? You told everyone in your class that you were going to get a bike and it would be so f***ing awesome they'd shit themselves when they saw how much fun you were having on it. You didn't know how to research before buying a bike because you were just a kid, and so instead of saving lots of money for a nice bike, you bought the first bike you could afford just to get it in your sweaty little palms as soon as humanly possible. You had to have the EXPERIENCE of having a bike; the bike itself was a secondary concern, but you were too tightly swaddled in innocence to realize that.

Soon afterward, the rear pegs sheared themselves off, the grips stained your hands, and the handbrake perforated your colon. The clouds part, and your eyes are opened anew to the thing that is your shitty bike. You wasted your summer lawnmowing money on a bike with an engrish knockoff name like 'Schwann' or 'Rally', and everyone knows it. The rich kid at the end of the block with the sweet blue-and-white GT with front-and-rear pegs says he's never heard of your brand of bike before, and you're mortified. What do you do, hot shot? Well...

You automatically defend the f*** out of your bike. Loudly. To the goddamn heavens. It is the best bike ever, and the only reason they haven't heard of it is because it was specially ordered from Norway by your dad or some shit. It only has one pedal? That makes it easier to do those awesome skidding stops that look so badass. It's currently on fire? f***ing 3-D flames, my man, your eyes are just not adjusted yet. You will defend your bike to the death because, although you know in your heart of hearts that you desperately need to ditch the piece of coyote shit that is your bike, you've tied it to yourself in a way that is impossible to feel again if you're not eleven years old. You tied yourself to the experience of having this shitty bike before you even bought it, and you did so publicly to anyone who'd listen.

If you admit the bike is shitty, you admit that you were stupid for hoping. Hoping that a regular, kinda fat kid from the poor family on the street could get to have something nice that he himself picked out and paid for. Hoping that for once the universe would align juuuuust right and give you a pat on the back. Hoping once, just once in your sad life where all the other kids seem to have it all, that you can be proud of one thing (ANYTHING) on the first day back at school. Hoping that you'll never have to admit out loud that your hope died long before the bike was even built.

Proton Preve is the best car ever made with superb safety features and awesome handling with the best price in the world. Just got mine shipped in from Norway.

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This post has been edited by mrg220t: Aug 16 2012, 12:40 PM