first c0cker to arrive

and first to defile it

cycling is a sport related to foot fetishes...


you ride like nuts on days that has no ends (must like SM a lot, M more if not S)... and can suffer like a dog ran over by an 18-wheeler...


after that, get back up... smile and pretend like nothing happened when your buddies get to the end of a bike ride looking like they got ran over by a truck and diss them for being slow pokes.... and giving them the loser salute...


but, your suffering gets offset by nice scenery that is often not available here...


occasionally... you hope for some eye candy (pretty gurls in lycra) to cancel out some of the pain....


which you seldom get... and when you do get them... you know the drill... (act like a horny idiot who has never seen a girl in 5 centuries and howl like a wolf to creep them out)


and when your salary comes out at the end of the month... you take the whole lump of it to buy something that does not make any sense even to Obama (assuming you don't pawn your house or sell your car to do it)

(jus so that you can show off your shiny new bike to your bike buddies who will get so jelly and try to sell their organs in the coming month to buy a better bike than yours)

sooner or later, you will find yourself so deep in divorce, or your girlfriend leaving your ass for sleeping more with your bike than with her...

(not a big deal since you are already bankrupted anyways...the judge with sympathize with you for not even being able to afford her alimony or child support fees and you will have no inheritance to split with her which is a plus)

So, in a nutshell... cycling is a sport where you have to love hurting yourself, and your wallet even more... earn your bragging rights with epic rides.. or a cool bike if you are a tub of lard that cannot pedal more than 5KM without needing a a block of lurpak...

at the end of a tough day where you took the shortcut home... log on to forum after getting your B2B massage, post up tons of BS about anything and everything, pictures of your cam whoring activities, B2B massage reports, and occasionally act like werewolves when any mention of a girl comes up... that is if you are not busy poisoning one another into bankruptcy...

summary, cycling is for idiots and lonely fappers... jus kiddin

start your journey to hell heaven, i meant with some local cycling magz or if you have no $

http://www.baikbike.com/

from there on, get your first cheap bike (which you will ultimately regret) from a shop very very far away from where you live....

http://www.baikbike.com/bicycle-shops/

then further poison yourself with some of the international cycling sites and land yourself in further misery for knowing you just got conned into getting the wrong one and must now go sell your tushy to make more money for your new fancy shmancy shiny bike...

http://velonews.com
http://www.bikeradar.com

or come here to get a few jabs of poison needles from our resident doctors who specialize in evilsm and hypnotic and subliminal poisoning...

nuff said...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 10:47 AM

this is so ridiculous...

http://bicycling.com/blogs/boulderreport/2...-olympic-bikes/

secret squirel club

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport...l-sort-off.html

the bike looks horrid...






This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 11:23 AM

this is so ridiculous...

http://bicycling.com/blogs/boulderreport/2...-olympic-bikes/

secret squirel club

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport...l-sort-off.html

the bike looks horrid...

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Added on July 30, 2012, 11:41 amyou are evil... you will pay for your sins...

haha... refer to 1st post... is like "talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening"...

people will ask anyways... cos, they like a to be whipped silly... and that give us more chance to mock people.. mwahaha

in view of this serious matter... we have to appoint someone who has a serious attitude and more importantly.. passion for cycling.. and that person is..... isssss.... issssssssssss... not me, not you, not sky, not miaopurr, not hianboy, not lot101...

so, who?

dinraxx??? he puasa la... no energy to tap the keyboard... and kena "internet fasting" also...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 11:45 AM

you all haven't wake up ma... that is why only 2 of us...

how small is small??? i lived with a sizeable slit around 2-3mm before on my rear detonators... noticeable if you forcefully flip it inside out... i just took one of the tire boots from my birzman patch kit and stuck it inside covering the slit jus to be safe... and it ran for quite some time until the next couple of puncture luckily not over that area and all the way until the tire got worn down to it's kevlar layers...

it totally depends on you... if you feel that the peace of mind is important to you... then, it is money well spent... for me, worst case even if i forgot to bring a spare tube is to walk home from taman tun...

but frankly, every puncture will more or less create a small damage or hole on the tire... it is just a matter if you spotted it.. the only one that is not recommended to ignore is the sidewall damages... that has to be changed out as soon as possible...

here is what the tire boot looks like... not all patch kits are supplied with them...a thicker material and more tough to add another layer over the tire for temporary use...

http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=13249

in the case of birzman ones.. the boot is the bigger square piece with lotsa wordings...
http://www.birzman.co.uk/tyre-repair.html


This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 02:01 PM

hand pump? enough pressure for you is??? 110psi?

hand pump tak boleh la... even though they claim max pressure is 160psi... you'll need arms like


to pump it that high... even my cacated floor pump that says it is capable of 160psi also very hard to get past 110psi... have to throw my body weight on the down stroke to force the air in... the claimed max pressure means that the seals will hold up to 160psi of pressure being pumped in... not that it can be done easily...

furthermore, such short stroke pumps is gonna kill your arms before powerman does... jus meant for emergency road side repairs and easy portability only...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 02:20 PM

30psi cannot ride one wor... you climb on the bike only.. the rim will be touching ground already...

was using topeak pocket rocket last time until the presta adapter fell off and went to another dimension... and now on a mini birzman... both can easily get it up to 50-60 pounds... if you want to force it, maybe 70++ is possible...

last i pumped during puncture.. i went home to use floor pump to top it up and it started off pumping around 75psi... which meant that after 200-300 odd strokes in front of some un-appealing aunties watching me stroking in the middle of nowhere... i got it up to 70 odd psi...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 02:36 PM

STOP IT!!!

you are killing me...

yesterday... i only saw a big bunch of aunties... ride also no mood...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 02:45 PM

i am not there la... i was at my usual riding ground... jus no guuurrls yesterday... jus a bunch of aunties... so blardy disheartening...

and i only slept for less than 4 hours the night before and i had to forcefully get out of bed to go riding with high hopes...

well, it's true wat they say... the higher your expectations... the bigger the disappointment...

my weekend

maybe sky's arms are only that muscular...

at least it's very aerodynamic

that guy must be a tough dude... or he is afraid that his wife will bite his head off for kaciao'ing her in the midlde of a RM288 facial session jus to pick him up...



unfortunately.. i hate running.. and the irony... i like chicks...

vin_ann... you are seriously messing with my life with this chick thing...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 05:01 PM

yeah right... that's helping a lot.. and a track star too..

bet she can give a 1300W kick to my head and my fish balls will shoot out of it's sack...

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Added on July 30, 2012, 5:04 pmi've got a very very sick and twisted evil thought all of a sudden...

what happens to that saddle after the shoot? i wonder if there is some people from the shoot wanting only the saddle as memorabilia

or what happen if miss victoria finds one of the photography assistants sniffing that saddle

mwahaha... busted

lance armstrong did something similar too.. i don't want to post the picture.. spoils the mood... i am sure no one wants that saddle...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 30 2012, 05:15 PM

good god... i dunno wat nuang is... but doesn't sound like a B2B massage to me...dun expect too much... you are not on EPOCERA.. you can't ride like those world tourdoperscyclist

your mates must be wondering why you are getting frisky with their pumps

wow.. 100 bucks.. rather get my head bitten off by my wife...

like anything else... she can keep him from doing it physically... but mentally, he is out there ridin' (whichever way you interpret this )

i'm back... prepare to file for bankruptcy...

let's start off with something a little lighter...

a groupset change...

as we know... electronic shifting is just a hype, so, mechanical we go...SRAM Red 2012 -> RM5.5k... i think


throw out the calipers for a set of the ever cool and ultralight eebrakes -> RM2k


swap the Red chain rings with the TDF winning osymetric "oval but not exactly oval" rings


with all the crazy gear... how can you leave out the pit for cocksters (cockpit)... expect no less from the crazy germans and their composite products...



if you don't mind the price and the occasional visit to the hospital for accidentally lodging your carbon seat post up your a~hole...all in the sake of lightweight


if you prefer brand purity... ditch the eebrakes for an even cooler set of AX lightness calipers -> price? ball busting

---

Added on July 31, 2012, 9:44 amall this and compromise shifting and braking performance with a set of lousy cables... NO WAY!!!...

Nokon matched to Power Cordz...price? -> so cheap you won't bother asking



and how in freakin heavens can we forget the things that enables us to roll around... Lightweight is so yesteryear and mass produced... Zipp, Corimas and Fulcrums are too common...

a custom built set of Enve 1.25 laced to Dash ultra light hubs with white bladed spokes with full ceramic speed bearing upgrades from wheelbuilder.com -> expect no less than a ass whopping, brain blowing USD4k




This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 31 2012, 09:44 AM

unless you appointment is with 15 gangsters waiting to hack you into 18 pieces... i would not give a flying crap about it... not even meeting my mother in law will warrant a 100 buck taxi ride...

can buy all 15 fellas cha time with that money leh...

there is perfection in the cycling world... there is however, no such thing called "SATISFACTION"

electronic shifting is over-rated... get the new mechanical DA instead... Giant and Campy is like Nobita and Giant.. can never mix... heck, you don't even see any of their lineup using campy as stock components...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 31 2012, 09:50 AM

difference between triple and double? 3 - 2 = 1... the difference is 1

there are a total of 4 types of un-awesomely worthless riders...

1) compact crank users - useless weaklings
a 50/34 crank so they have a lighter set of gears while keeping weight considerably low

2) hybrid compacts - bastards who do not want to admit they are a useless bunch of asswipes
a 52/36 crank, usually a standard BCD 130 crank with 52/39 swapped with a 36 inner chain ring, wants a lighter gear but does not want to show people that [s]he is riding a BCD 110 crank like a weakling

3) triple crank users - no words to describe them...
this people is so rubbish that they need a mountain bike granny ring to survive, never mind the weight.. you need a mid cage RD, UN-conventionally long chain which makes shifting sloppy and the ability to bear the laughter of the public...

4) the ultimate weakling - triple or compact crank paired with a wide range 11-32 or 11-34 mountain bike cassette
this people might as well put a motor on their bike... needs to be shot in the face if you meet them... usually, they will produce excuses like they climb hills a lot.. which is generally an outright lie...

i am in category 4 and i climb lotsa hills

triple crank will produce a lot of gear overlap... but it will give the lowest possible gear inch in any sort of combination even without a wide range cassette...

even roberto heras in the USPS days won his vuelta title with a triple crank riding up alto de l'angliru

---

Added on July 31, 2012, 10:21 amwhen have anyone been satisfied? give you 2cm you want 2 inch... give you big mac you want megamac...give you iphone 4 you want iphone 4s.. give you ipad2 you wants new ipad2...someone give you 2 mil and you will want 2bil... get a hot wife who gives you wonderful sex life and you want to go out and call dirty prosty... company give you Beemer F10 and you will want a Ferrari 458 italia...give you ecstasy, you want cocaine... give you semi-d you want 3 storey bungalow... satisfaction is never achievable... our brains are never connected properly in that department... people who are satisfied are people who has dementia...or brain dead...

there will be carbotanium or nobrac material by 2015... carbon will be worthless like aluminum now...and the irony... you will want nobrac by then...

when have you seen a taiwanese speak in italian? tak ada mah... at least you see taiwanese speaker in english...even though taiwanese dun speak japanese... they still watch and learn from japanese AV, culturally similar at least... that or at least kanji is quite close to chinese writing...

Giant has bikes equipped with SRAM... never seen a Campy equipped Giant before..

some more... here no real campy pro shop... campy rosak damn the cialatness.. and replacement parts are not cheap... another whole new level of cialatness...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 31 2012, 10:28 AM

big crank??? big crank is normal rider la... nothing bad, but also nothing good to mock about...

you can take it a step further by swapping the big ring for a 55T tt ring the fixies use.. looks like a pizza hut small 6" pizza pan....

I am a Cat 4 rider la... in fact.. i think i am the first one to pakai 50/34 - 11-32T combo in KL.. cos no one got the balls to do it... (actually, i am just damn faceless) i rather be seen with a big round cassette than pushing my bike up a hill...

even before SRAM's 11-32T got to malaysia... i was already the laughing stock riding a 50/34 matched to 11-29T cassette on a mid cage ultegra RD i very susah payah bid from ebay... guess i killed half those buggers by making them laugh until their lungs cramped when i swapped to a 11-32T...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 31 2012, 10:34 AM

did i not mention i was evil that 6666 times? hope i didn't give the wrong impression that i am an angel of some sort... i am nothing short of the dark price... hell.. i make ozzy osbourne look like a humanitarian...

A stem look important? that is a question you should have with your "back"...

if you want pro look... look no further than the -17 degree stems... and at least 110mm in length

on a giant somemore

and you have to slam it all the way down like how you slam your bi@tch...

This post has been edited by butthead: Jul 31 2012, 11:00 AM

lighter, carbon, road tubeless compatible, ceramic bearings

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Added on August 1, 2012, 9:43 ambit more details... hard to thumb on the phone..

1) carbon hub shell
2) zero 2 way fit is lighter by 25grams... zero (non-2 way fit by 55 grams)
3) one has different rim heights from and rear
4) USB ceramic ball bearings on the hubs

the rest, 2:1 spoke lacing, momag, dynamic balance are all the same

This post has been edited by butthead: Aug 1 2012, 09:43 AM

limited la pundet... says it's a 2011 frame...

anyways... i don't want a dopers bike...