will you be jealous if your bf have some very close female friends, what will you do with them?

talk to your bf and ask him to stay far away from her, or else...

or else..cant go in room to sleep..even sleep outside house..

My girlfriend is pretty cool with me and my gal-pals.

And all my gal-pals know how crazy I am over my girlfriend.

sometimes cant help but jealous..unless he knows how to create some distance with her

nth..
thats why they are still friends..
if he wants something to happen , it would had already happen

theres no best female friends between both sexes...if there is..prolly they have something going on...

these comments always make me laugh

im glad to hear dat sis...

Happily married the woman I've known for 14 years and dated for 11 years. I have a best friend who's of the opposite gender for 13 years. So, enlighten me on what's going on?

yeah, I'm laughing because of how stupid the comment is!

Why can't guys and girls be best friend? Because guys will always think bout sleeping with the girl? Are guys really that.. low?

i got a feeling that, all yours the other half must be losing his/her frens 1 by 1 slowly and slowly

i dun have best female frens, even if im having 1 now, i dun think something will goes on

or u wanna say the girls wanna gold-dig the guy ? Are girls really that...hi-yan ?

ohh well im happy to do it again jux to make everyone laugh...its the only thing that makes us live longer...

I lol'ed. So this is the quality of a guy.. snap back instead of reflect. Prove me wrong then. The reason I've always heard from you people has always been "guy and girl can't be best friends because they will end up banging each other." Prove me wrong bout the stuff you guys said. I don't believe it, but it's what you people believe.

This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 5 2012, 10:51 AM

well what u said is true in my case...had few bff b4 and bang all of them...but we still keep in touch n hang out frequently...

prove u wrong ? why i have to waste time to prove when i can utilize it to make more female good friends ? lol

Hahha.. right

"i dun have best female frens, even if im having 1 now, i dun think something will goes on"

Low?

What is low? Height?

From my previous reply, it is obvious that guys and girls can be best friends.

I believe they can. Reread my post. I am asking a question, it wasn't a statement. Because I heard from many that they say you can't be best friends, especially if you are married. I asked why and they said the same thing "because they will end up sleeping with each other", "why would a guy and girl be best friends? sure will have more feelings than friendship behind it", "because guys will be easily seduced". bla bla bla. So I asked, why? Why do people think that way? Is it because they believe it's all about sex in the end? That low?

I'm sorry I read your post without context.

I still don't get the low, though...

Low as it thinking lowly of yourself? I think the image below explains it well....


http://s0.wp.com/imgpress?url=https%3A%2F%...79_n.jpg&w=1000

i do have a female best friend..never cross my mind that in the end is sex.not all men think that way.some does look for genuine friendship with girls.

So make yourself be his soulmate /best friend

to me, make female best fren > wasting my time to prove something to hard-headed person

---

Added on August 7, 2012, 8:09 pmyes, im also asking a question

This post has been edited by 7chai: Aug 7 2012, 08:09 PM

hard-headed? right.. please don't say anything if you have nothing better to say. Were you really genuinely asking a question or were you acting defensively because you assumed I was mocking guys? There's a difference there. You were "asking your question" out of feeling defensive, nothing more.

You are already wasting your time and my time. Sigh.. why do I even bother with this. Have fun making friends with females. Not gonna keep up with this crap.

This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 7 2012, 08:20 PM

then ask yourself, if u believe in something, why would u still wanna ask such question. to me it sounds like gender insult than a question.

thats the intention in you that i see. peace.

This pciture. Nuff said.

I asked because that's what people say all the time, as if guys are just that... somehow when it comes to females, they lose their values or their beliefs or self-control. I have great guy friends, but some of them is just so funny, they tried to act like what the picture i quoted above said, just to prove that they are "real men". Like "I am a real man, of course I do this, this and this".

Go read that gf/bf thread on here, can't remember the title, but it was saying bout sex before marriage or something. Or read that butt pinching thread. See the replies that the guys wrote in those threads, and read that picture in quoted again. I asked, why do people want to think that way, nothing more. Insults only came from your mind, nothing more.

This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 7 2012, 08:40 PM

well, dun drag too far, look at ur reply below. if u are wise enough, u shud know where goes wrong.

it's hilarious how you boys can completely misunderstand and miss the entire point of ChocChristy's question. I see no ambiguity in her question and it is crystal clear. What part don't you get? Are you using the right head?

a guy give another girl's back of the knee a rub with his shoes on in front of his gf while queuing together. that girl was once his crush. nothing between them though. the gf knows..

girls, will you be jealous?

This post has been edited by chinyen: Aug 8 2012, 02:42 PM

Can't speak for girls but if my wife does that to her guy friend I'd think nothing of it. I'm not insecure.

In this world, there are only 2 sexes (male an female, Ah Gua excluded)..so in our normal interaction, how can we easily exclude the opposite sex? It's true that we may treat our opposite sex fren with more consideration/more gentle, but it doesn't mean we have any "extra" in mind..It's a balance of yin and yang that makes existence..sometimes, certain things are easier said to a fren of the opposite sex than same..we juz appreciate and treasure the company..I have some sisters, and we have a very caring, mutual respect and understanding relationship ah, and the hanky panky stuff never cross my mind..

Not dragging far at all, what I was referring to has all the connection to what I said.. If you actually use your brain in your skull more rather than the one at the bottom, you know what I am getting at.

Let me just put it simple for you since you apparently are using the wrong head, if you read those threads, you will know that your "brothers" insulted your gender for you, not me, I did not. Stop trying to act smart and try to bite me for nothing.


Apparently he isn't. No point continuing in this, wrong head used = will never understand anything logical. But I forgive him, we know that many Malaysians' English standard is sub-par anyway. (see? I can be snappy too). Rhetorical questions aren't easily understood I guess

This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 9 2012, 02:15 PM

*snorts* never had a very high opinion of Malaysian boys anyway.

then for which countries' boys do you have high opinion of

You must be one of those girls that kena cheated by guy before. Pity you.
Not every guy will be the same as your ex-bf lah.

Another dude who totally missed the point and totally misread what I said. Seriously people, seriously

Reading the many replies and posts throughout this forum - arguably Malaysia's most popular - shows a segment of young/middle age adults totally unwilling / incapable of mature, factual discourse.

I really hope this is not reflective of the majority of the population of this country.

If you represent the majority of girls these days then /facepalm I'd rather be gay.

I'd argue that the segment involves senior citizens too. Basically Malaysians have this lack of critical thinking skills and rational discernment. It has been a worrying trend for years now, no thanks to the way our education system works.

And no, I am unwilling to continue a mature, factual discourse with a bunch of emotional immature boys that couldn't keep calm and actually discern what I said before hurling insults. Sigh... feminism has a lonnnng way to go.

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Added on August 11, 2012, 1:26 pmBe my guest It is not my responsibility to spoon feed you or anyone that missed the point of what I said, I am not your English teacher or your professor. If you fail at comprehension and believe I insulted you, yeah, not my problem

This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 11 2012, 01:29 PM

So what sets you apart from other Malaysians that "lack critical thinking skills" ?
Weren't you part of our Malaysian education system at one point?

What sets me apart from people like you is I actually use my brain more instead of insulting people straightaway, like a certain "captain" around here. I survived and rise above the system, you apparently, didn't.

Apparently, you missed my point here. I was merely asking advice on how you rose above the system and you insinuated that I don't use my brain. How childish.

You weren't, reread what you wrote. You did not ask for advice, you were being snappy. Different things.

And reread the 2 posts you posted earlier, did you even use your damn brain to understand what I said? No, you didn't, you just assumed that what I said was because I had a crappy ex-bf. Sorry, I don't have an ex-bf. Who was the one who claimed that they'd rather be gay (apparently gay's a choice, what an insult to gay people)? Who's the childish one?

I don't have further prerogative to reply to you. Added you to the ignore list. Learn to be mature instead of trying to act smart please.



This post has been edited by ChocChristy: Aug 11 2012, 01:53 PM

It is so easy for hotheads like you to misunderstand text on the internet, hope you learn to grow up and reconsider how you "rose up from the Malaysian Education System" because you are not above any of us in any way;from the Malaysian Education system.

Being gay is childish? Adding you to my blacklist.

I think you care too much about the opinions of a few women. Relax...............................

I've read everything here, and you obviously owe this lady an apology. Not only were you twisting her words, but you are also a f*ckhead. Since when did she say that being gay is childish? And even the Prime Minister sends his kids to study abroad, because he also knows that his own country's education sucks. So how the f*ck did you not know about this and even dared to defend the Malaysian bullsh*t education system?

You are indeed an a*shole.

To the men who think I'm playing the white knight, well, F*CK YOU for your lack of rationality and dignity.

if you're a white knight, then I must be one too, because I agree with you .. I have no idea where and how these people managed to twist and misunderstand ChocChristy's question.

..try to be friend with them n know their bfs..or myb do nothing..

most of my close friends are guys. does that makes me a target by all their gfs? @.@

possibly.

As for me and my gf, we do make a point that I will stop hanging out with all my girl-pals once we're engaged and married.

Why?

Because I kinda hang out a lot with my girl-pals.

It is not a good thing.

I myself know that.

So you'd forsake your friends when you marry? I don't get it. Do you need to homogenise your character, and self identity too?

Less hanging out =/= Forsake.

Please do not oversimplify things like that.

Plus I like my personal space, and having another person whom I love dearly within that space would lessen my need to go out.

I'm an introvert. I don't really like going out.

I'm sorry but you don't make sense. IMHO, it seems to me a losing of self identity in order to adapt to married life.

I'm speaking from experience. If the person loves you for who you are, why do you feel the need to change?

A little OT here. Back to the topic, I believe it all boils down to security/confidence (or lack of it) of the woman, and the trust that the man inspires.

My girl loves me and trusts me alright. It is me who need to cut down on spending time with others, because I want to.

personally, that will raise my radar, but not too much. guess i trust him and our trust is built over years.

maybe you should hang out with her (or them, if he has alot of them) with him around and observe their interaction. if something is really on between them, you'll be able to sense something fishy. innocent flirting is tolerable, at least to me...

I have to agree with you and Deadlocks.

Anyway, I have quite a few female friends whom I would say they are my best friends. I don't see why a guy can't be best friends with a girl unless all he is thinking is finding a way to bang her.

Its all about boundaries. Dun hide anything n dun give a reason to doubt. Show that u love ur gf more then ur so called best friends.

haha it is always about how 2 draw the line n dont step over it

sorry, just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean it's not possible. if you didn't believe the earth is spherical, does that make it untrue?

My best friend is a female. We went to a jazz club alone together (which my gf does not enjoy), watch concert at MPO, movies, dinner etc. and guess what? Best part is my gf doesn't feel jealous at all and we're at perfectly good relationship.

I have zero interest in any romantic relationship with my best friend. It'd be so strange, weird and almost incest-like feeling.

This post has been edited by Underhill: Sep 11 2012, 12:04 AM

It will only lead to where your mind wants it to lead to.

Exactly!

It all comes down to the individual itself...

Everyone has their own agenda...

I think as long as the opposite sex best friend is crystal clear, ie it has been said out loud and agreed by both parties, that the relationship will forever be best friends and nothing more AND if any party start to develop even the slightest feelings then they should stop being best friends then I think its ok.

For me personally, i live by the "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" thus if my wife has a male best friend I know I would feel uncomfortable so I don't do it to her.

that depends entirely on the pair. I have a male best friend and I do not discuss such things with anybody, let alone him.

You have a great point there.

I agree with you B@rt, but at the same time, if there is trust, why should anybody even feel uncomfortable about it?

Because we're raised to not trust. Parents tell us don't take sweets from strangers. They tell us don't believe what the Gomen and the mainstream media tells us. Society tells us don't have pre-marital sex because all the guy wants is sex. Newspaper reports of people getting conned by Nigerian men into sending them money with the promise of love or return in investment. Thus even though the the gf/bf/best friend wants to trust but it is hard wired into them not to trust. And thus the reason why you should always be as straightforward and direct as possible when you're asking someone to trust you.

Actually I believe everybody in the world could do with a bit more trusting in one another. Heck I broke up with my college gf because she didn't trust in me or her parents enough to introduce me to them. Being hidden (ie not being trusted) made me doubt myself and the relationship (am i not good enough for her?). Till this day she still has trust issues which is still manifesting itself in her current relationship (I still keep in touch every now and then (my wife knows about us keeping in touch ok! )).

If you think you can't trust the person you're dating/married to and are comparing that sort of trust to the kind your parents told you not to have with strangers ... Houston, I think we have a problem.

How many types of "trust" are there? Trust is like a self defense mechanisme. it's ingrain. Only the level of trust differs from one to the other based on parents' teachings, life experiences and societal expectations.

*sigh* I know where you're coming from ... but if you can't even trust your partner, then there really is no hope. Don't be naive, but don't be so cynical and paranoid.

hmm..i think it depends on how the bf behaves la..if he always come clean, tell everything, then there won't anything for the girl to suspect

My bf has close girl friends. I too, have close guy friends too, and I just went for drinks with a guy friend ytd. I won't mind my bf to join, but he just can't make it.

So, as long as you don't make a person feel like you're hiding something, then I think that shall be fine.

This is a decent point bring brought up. Kindly allow some flow of thoughts to build a holistic picture. After reading the entire thread I found that no one has brought this up: The language of love. What is it?

Here is the link for those who wish to read more,
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-la...love-languages/

but also here is the TLDR version:

Time is a language of love. Don't believe me? Read this quote:
"Where a person spends his/her time and money, is where his/her heart is"
Read it again.

Like it or not, things change when your friend couples up or gets married. No longer can you spend ludicrous amounts of time together. Why? Because now they are partly responsible to another person too!

Example: The way Jack behaves should reflect his responsibility toward Jill.
Should Jack still fool around with other girls?
Should Jack make decisions without considering Jill?
(Now here is the major kicker)
Should Jack often find himself alone with another girl, even if it is just talking for long hours. c.f. refer to Language of Love in paragraph 2 and 3.

Most of you say trust and will most likely dismiss the fact that being together with your best buddy - nothing will happen one. Yeah for you perhaps, but is it so alien to hear this phrase " ... feelings started to develop for so and so.." (or am I now talking out of my ass? You've heard it, you've seen it, maybe even experienced it and it ties back to what I've said earlier.

Therefore in essence, each person should know his or her own limits. Some couples trust is higher and therefore mucking around with good friends of the opposite gender is fine. Maybe they are crystal clear with their boundaries.
Others may prefer to err on the side of caution rather than perhaps? blunder and say that infamous line "... feelings developed"

be fren with his gal's fren

Yea ... there is no way a guy can be a girl's best friend unless he conscious/subconsciously wanna f*** her. No matter what he claims, he have feelings for which is not good.


DEFINITELY GOT CRUSH ON THE GIRL ... and U R JUST passing by gf .

Ｉ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅ　ｈｉｍ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｕ　ｔｏｏ　ｃｌｏｓｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｙｒ　ｆｅｍａｌｅ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ．　
ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｐｒｅｖｅｎｔ　ｈｉｍ　ｔｏ　ｍａｋｅ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｓｏｍｅｂｏｄｙ，　ｊｕｓｔ　ｂｅｔｗｅｅｎ　ｈｉｍ　ａｎｄ　ｈｉｓ　ｃｌｏｓｅ　ｆｅｍａｌｅ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｋｅｅｐ　ａ　ｄｉｓｔａｎｃｅ．

Nothing we can do..what can do is trust...although wil jealous

Quite true actually, particularly if the guy is single. Most guys are hormone charged horny pricks waiting to score with a lady, regardless of whether or not she is attached. This condition is made worse when the woman they are "friends" with responds to their sexual inuendos.

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Added on September 27, 2012, 6:11 pmThis is so true....

This post has been edited by s2peMocls: Sep 27 2012, 06:11 PM

Guess it depends completely on how hot the other girl is to pose a psychological threat.

I applaud you for being the person who does it because you chose it.

However, to those who have to distance themselves with the opposite sex merely because their partner is insecure, then they have my sympathies. It's a sad way to live knowing you can't have close friends of the opposite sex. It speaks highly of the lack of trust and communication between the couple to begin with. Especially so if they were your friends way before you met your partner. This partnership will only work if they are like Lucidus who does it without being asked.

no, just admit it LAH .. most Malaysian little boys kenot tahan.

I'm also offended on behalf of guys that you think that most of them are "horny pricks".
would you like it if I said that because you are a guy, you're a potential rapist?

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Oct 10 2012, 05:50 AM

My best female friend got promoted a few years back to family friend status. No longer she is my friend only, she is our friend now.

Well Luckily i have Gynophobia so it wont be any problem to face this kind of situation

They are, even the married ones. Put a very available chick in front of them, and they're ready to drop their pants. I've got proof of this guy who is married flirting with a girl already has a partner. I plan to show it to his wife.

Don't get me wrong, girls are sluts too, but you need to have the right kind of bait, and most men don't have it.

Whatever rocks your socks. I kinda feel insulted.

lol I agree with leo-chan.

well. in my opinion, i dont like it because the girl whom are closed to my bf is actually a girl who like my bf few years back. and got scolded by my bf's exgf. now he is mine and i also dislike that girl but i couldnt scold that girl cause my bf will sure argue with me. idk why some girls are so b****y. that girl ALWAYS take picture next to my bf, sit next to him no matter where they go (classmates gathering). so kinda dislike that girl. she hates me n i too no doubt.
how to kick her off!! >.<

my gf get angry even i talk nicely to the mcd girls..but still i love her. =)

just be friend with her... ^^

I'm a guy and I have 3 best buds that are girls, 2 married and 1 single, and I still remember all of them telling me "best friends sometimes outlast relationship and even marriage" (don't know suay or what..the friendship really outlasted one of the marriage).

You can say that if the BF loves you then they must sacrifice something, same thing can be said, if you love your BF, then you should accept and sacrifice....what happens then when your BF ask you that question?

If you scared your BF get it on with his best bud, I tell you now, guys normally do not get it on with girls that they are already familiar with, guys will get it on with girls they just meet and begin as only normal friends...why I know this....I see most of my guy friends that gets divorce because of this....they meet someone fresh and new..not the old friends

Lolz, this is sad...

How to stop your BF from being too close with a girl.
a) Buy BF cheating Insurance
b) Call Police to Lock the BF in Jail
c) Call Police to Lock the Girl in Jail
d) Find a Boy to marry the Girl
e) Leave them alone and trust your BF
f) Tell your BF your worries

The answer is sooo obvious when this question is asked. It's only the fact that someone is being very insecure.

How about just leave this BF and find another one who's GAY or do not have any female friend. (This is the only way to solve the problem if that's what "you" want)

keep your enemy close =)

I am a married man. My wife works as a therapist, using electricity to massage the body. One of the therapist is a male. A single who is in this 30s and in his facebook likes jav movies with fantasy perverted idea like father with daughter-in-law, neighbour with lonely wife, friend's wife etc. As colleague sometime they massage each other to heal the body. Bear in mind woman need to unhook the bra and lower down the panty to just above butt crack area. The massage can be 1 or 2 hours on each . Just imagine the longest they spend 4 hours together doing each other body. Sometime only 2 of them are around. I had discussion with my wife that I dont like his colleague to massage her. To say I am not jealous I would be lying. I spoken to her about that and she said nothing will happen between them. She told me that they treated him like a "sister" .I trusted her on that but I told her I don't trust him and dont let your guard down. How else he will get close and enjoy the benefit of massage if he dont act like one as their "sister". I told her the acid test will come only when he "accidentally" (for being drunk (maybe both got tipsy)/lied about uncontrol urge) & touch you inappropriately or worst have sex with you: Would you forgive him (after all your "sister" gave excuse "drunk/uncontrolled urge"; or blame yourself for being too close/too open/too touchy with your "sister". The problem is only we will know when the test come.

I told her, what about that you being so comfortable with his sisterly present that he might be the pervert who had hidden camera? The only advice for me to her is to be careful, & I want to hear that she will be careful, that's the only thing I want to hear from her. I don't want to hear about your sisterly relation/your professional therapist/ or just treat yoiu both like doctor & patient, full stop.

I am sometime bog down by this hoping that the test will not come one day. I trust my wife BUT I DON'T TRUST THAT SHIT HEAD. As a man, I know that I shouldn't be so insecure, and being insecure is not sexy. I told her that I trusted her to work there. She told me not think too badly.

Lastly as a man, I know that I am capable to seduce by the sight of body, by the touch of soft skin and I believe that I will try not to succumb to that by avoiding too much with the opposite sex and trying my best not to do things that I know she would not be happy, and I trusted her too. My only problem is that what if "ACCIDENT" happened. Just hope that the acid test.......

Nothing wrong. I'm sure you have close male friends.

I feel yah man. Shit happens.