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 My Short Stories / Fanfic, feel free to post your own here too

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TSThe Amateur Working Bee
post Jul 16 2012, 03:22 PM, updated 14y ago

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Chapter 1: Into the depths I go

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This post has been edited by The Amateur Working Bee: Jul 18 2012, 08:44 AM
iesnek
post Jul 16 2012, 03:33 PM

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Grammar and spelling abit la bro.

But still too early to tell. sweat.gif
DrLaboo
post Jul 16 2012, 03:35 PM

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ini moogle musti suka liao..
sila sambung moogle i demand!
(pls do livestream too)

hehe
funnybone
post Jul 16 2012, 03:36 PM

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I'm writing a movie script right now rclxms.gif
TSThe Amateur Working Bee
post Jul 16 2012, 03:37 PM

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QUOTE(iesnek @ Jul 16 2012, 03:33 PM)
Grammar and spelling abit la bro.

But still too early to tell.  sweat.gif
*
aiks, got grammar and spelling mistakes? later i check


Added on July 16, 2012, 3:37 pm
QUOTE(DrLaboo @ Jul 16 2012, 03:35 PM)
ini moogle musti suka liao..
sila sambung moogle i demand!
(pls do livestream too)

hehe
*
trolololol

This post has been edited by The Amateur Working Bee: Jul 16 2012, 03:37 PM
moomanhang
post Jul 16 2012, 03:43 PM

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so far so good smile.gif grammer wise cant really comment as am not 100% sure. but keep it up. now my mind edi drifted off imagining what would happen.... damn.... lol ^^
wira4ce
post Jul 16 2012, 03:57 PM

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QUOTE(DrLaboo @ Jul 16 2012, 03:35 PM)
ini moogle musti suka liao..
sila sambung moogle i demand!
(pls do livestream too)

hehe
*
moogle do us a favor.
eehtsitna
post Jul 16 2012, 04:16 PM

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You need to phrase it properly. The sentence is too long as it is now. That aside, keep it up bro! biggrin.gif
TSThe Amateur Working Bee
post Jul 16 2012, 04:19 PM

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QUOTE(eehtsitna @ Jul 16 2012, 04:16 PM)
You need to phrase it properly. The sentence is too long as it is now. That aside, keep it up bro! biggrin.gif
*
ah...yeah i was abit undecided on that part, i need to learn how to seperate parts where she speaks and the story, ill adjust it after i learn the proper way to do so xD paiseh
Vorador
post Jul 16 2012, 04:34 PM

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QUOTE(The Amateur Working Bee @ Jul 16 2012, 03:22 PM)
Chapter 1: Into the depths I go

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
Can't read now coz i office, will read it when go back.

+5 to u anyway.
olman
post Jul 16 2012, 04:41 PM

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TS the hardcore: so hardcore
moodswingfella
post Jul 16 2012, 04:53 PM

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oi ts,

put some erotic scene abit ler in ur story... brows.gif
Vorador
post Jul 16 2012, 04:57 PM

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QUOTE(moodswingfella @ Jul 16 2012, 04:53 PM)
oi ts,

put some erotic scene abit ler in ur story...  brows.gif
*
+15
TSThe Amateur Working Bee
post Jul 16 2012, 04:59 PM

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QUOTE(moodswingfella @ Jul 16 2012, 04:53 PM)
oi ts,

put some erotic scene abit ler in ur story...  brows.gif
*
i try lah, not so fast yet thou, let me figure out how to phrase the dialogues properly 1st lulz
moodswingfella
post Jul 16 2012, 05:03 PM

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QUOTE(The Amateur Working Bee @ Jul 16 2012, 04:59 PM)
i try lah, not so fast yet thou, let me figure out how to phrase the dialogues properly 1st lulz
*
im not good in this grammar and phrases. but so far I understood the story thumbup.gif
Currylaksa
post Jul 16 2012, 05:16 PM

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QUOTE(The Amateur Working Bee @ Jul 16 2012, 03:22 PM)
Chapter 1: Into the depths I go

  As Ginny ends her flirty conversation with that treasure hunter, she slides her hand up his thigh suggestively. Her conversation with him was encouraging, to find treasures in her rare cave where men lost themselves. This cave itself is something of a rare occurrence, opening once every two weeks, but what Ginny wants him to look for in there isn’t the riches of the treasure, what she wants are the demon spawns they can produce in there. After dispatching a shadow raven off to notify her fellow demon hunters about her journey, she gave a slight sigh before dipping themselves together into the darkness of the cave. 
*
polarzbearz
post Jul 16 2012, 05:19 PM

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QUOTE(DrLaboo @ Jul 16 2012, 03:35 PM)
ini moogle musti suka liao..
sila sambung moogle i demand!
(pls do livestream too)

hehe
*
This.
Vorador
post Jul 16 2012, 05:20 PM

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QUOTE(Currylaksa @ Jul 16 2012, 05:16 PM)

Chapter 1: Into the depths I go

  As Ginny ends her flirty conversation with that treasure hunter, she slides her hand up his thigh suggestively. Her conversation with him was encouraging, to find treasures in her rare cave where men lost themselves. This cave itself is something of a rare occurrence, opening once every two weeks, but what Ginny wants him to look for in there isn’t the riches of the treasure, what she wants are the demon spawns they can produce in there. After dispatching a shadow raven off to notify her fellow demon hunters about her journey, she gave a slight sigh before dipping themselves together into the darkness of the cave.
*
fap fap fap

This post has been edited by Vorador: Jul 16 2012, 05:20 PM
anechoic
post Jul 16 2012, 05:22 PM

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lol..becoming diablo 3 porn sotry liao
heaven
post Jul 16 2012, 05:24 PM

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This post has been edited by heaven: Jul 16 2012, 05:26 PM

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