since saturday is off, I slept till afternoon. still have a little hangover over my head. I sit on my bed and meditate abt all these issues between me and sandy over and over again. if u ask me how I feel abt sandy, I would say that sandy is a really nice and kind woman. usually woman on top (i mean those top managerial level) tend to be bossy, aggresive leadership, authoritative type of approach (i didn't mean that this type of character in woman ain't good, they're great also in managing work) but not her. her character i would say is humble and meek type of character. instead of instructing her staff to work, she requesting it gently.

when I at the stage of kick-starting the project, she gave me a lot of assistance and support and I truly appreciate her a lot. Throughout our moment working together, we getting closer and could chat on almost everything. at first I never think of our relationship will getting more intimate like this until she being proactive (despite of her timid character ) and showing her interest on me. so now i think have feeling for her too.



my phone alerted. it was her msg. “hey, sorry if I awake u. how are u feeling now?”

I call her back,

Me: hi there..
S: hi, are u ok? Sorry abt yesterday, I fall asleep.
Me: yeah, u were unconscious..
S: yeah lo. hey, I’m boring at home. want to have a movie together later?
Me: movie sound great. u get the ticket online and I’ll pick u on 3 later.
S: ok. see u later..

after shower and quick preparation, I proceed to her apartment. since I have the remote, I can access into her apartment till her doorstep freely. she open the door and apparently she wasn’t ready as she was still drying her hair. she apologize and ask me to sit for a while while she get herself prepared.

I’ll continue to write to9..

dunno why, even until now I still have the thought that sandy was probably an inteligent woman that look very ordinary. she was being friendly and kind to all colleagues and friends and in our complicated relationship, she appear to be genuine but sometimes i find that a little scheming, i dunno maybe i think a little over

so sandy told me that the ticket she manage to bought is 6 something or 7 something.. so she was asking maybe get some place to hang around prior to the movie. the movie is avengers, another , I watch already b4, but then I don't mind to watch again la. instead of took off to sunway theater now, i suggest that we hang around her home until 6. nothing special happen until 6, we just chat almost everything. i enjoy the quality time v her, and we're getting closer. i can feel that she was emotionally connected to me.

abt 5 or 6pm something like that, we get ready and took off to sunway. upon collect the ticket, we walk around the mall since there're plenty of time prior to the movie. as I mention earlier, i feel that sandy may a little scheming sometimes, so I wondering what makes her purchase so late ticket. would it be the couple seat something like beanie what at tgv? it turn out that it's just normal seat. apparently i think too much liao

in the theater, she was asking whether can leave earlier as she was getting bored at the first hour of the movie..

S: hey, I'm getting bored by the plot.

Me: really? it would be more exciting at the latter part. trust me I watched it..

S: ok.. (okey.jpg kind of response)

ohmai.. that expression is so genuine.. so I take back my word

Me: hmm, or perhaps we should go for dinner now. I'm famished. (in fact not a single solid food had been eaten since I woke up today, I'm starved)
S: yeah, better.. (then smile happily at me)


we leave the mall then we find a place for dinner. she brought me to a restaurant inside a condo close to bangsar shopping complex. the salted egg jelly fish is real gooding, and their dishes is less oily.. and the price is reasonable..

after dinner we heading back to her apartment. I was very tiring after been through all day outing. At her home, she saw me look so exhausted and then she say,

S: hey, u look so tired now. I think better don't drive and rest a night over here. what do u think?

hesitate for few seconds..

Me: hmm.. your idea was thoughtful. sure, why not?

she smiled..

S: so the guestroom would be urs. u may use those clean shirts and pant my brother used to wore when he stay over.. (she got a younger brother that married already and have 2 kids)


so I proceed to the guestroom, get changed and take a hot shower. after that wear the formal long sleeve shirt and a short pant I could found in the wardrobe. It looks strange to wear like this.. I lie on the bed and star at the ceiling, think abt the dilemma position i have, whether to take a step forward to affirm our relationship (yes or no) or just let wandering at this complicated zone. suddenly she knock the door... (to be continue to9, pile of work mang, purposely took my lunch time to write this..)

suddenly she knock the door, i open the door and saw she had her light brown dyed hair put down untie, with a sleeveless shirt that bare on the shoulder and arms and short pant.

S: hey, just saw that there're light underneath the door so just check it out whether u still awake or not.
Me: yeah, still awake, would sleep anytime soon. what is this? (saw her holding some disc)
S: i was wondering if u want to watch some tv show together. would be great if u can be my company. what do u think?
Me: oh, sound interesting. (then i intend to go to living..)
S: no, think we will watch it at ur room instead so that u may sleep whenever u feel like.
Me: oh, that was thoughtful..

so sandy came in my room and sit at the bed bench while I try to setup the player thing and switch the tv to correct channel. the tv show entitle "gossip girl". I sit next to her at the bed bench after I get all the things set. While sitting on the bed bench watching the show, i ask her

Me: so u like the show?
S: yeah, been chase it few years ago from season 1.. what abt u, any show u catching now?

Then we chat a little abt tv show etc bla bla bla which u guys won't have interest to know. It was quite a little awkward position to sit on the bench as it have nothing to lie at the back and feel a little uncomfortable also. so i suggest,

Me: hey, why not we just sit on the bed as my back a little tiring.

she nodded consent abt the idea and then we move backward to the bed headboard and have the pillow on our back lying to the bed headboard. Instead on lying on her side, she suddenly hug my chest and lean on me so closely. she look at me,

S: do u mind?

was a little nervous but then to prevent her from noticing my nervous, I immediately smile to her and responded to her through conduct by hugging her shoulder with 1 hand.

she look at me and smiled then switch her sight back to the tv..

so then we watch the show and not a word had been spoken since then. at this moment, I feel that between us did exist a subtile emotion which is intimate than friendship but less than love. really can't brain it

throughout the show, got 1 scene a couple press the emergency stop in the lift and make out inside. ohmai, I feel so awkward. Thanks god she watch it as if it was normal and suddenly I feel so relieved abt that. sandy dozed off b4 the end of the show and I still awake even i was sooo tired. i switch off the tv, without making more movement (from awaking her up), i sleep at the uncomfortable position and slowly dozed off..

next day morning, i didn't saw her in my room when i woke up. my clothes were washed and dried. i then just get changed and prepared. she was preparing a simple breakfast, just merely toast and coffee. i enjoy having the breakfast. after breakfast, it was abt the time to leave. she open the door for me,

S: it was such a wonderful night spent v u.
Me: yeah, me too.
S: u should have come here more frequent.

i smiled..

S: take care and drive safely..

dunno why, after she say that, i feel so warm, then i approach her and gave her a hug and a peck on her forehead. she was flattered. i heading back home after that..

since then, our relationship getting closer. however our relationship still remain in "complicated zone" which was intimate than a friend but lesser than a lovely dating couple. I would always energetic at work despite of a busy day as I'm looking forward to see her and spending our time together. we no longer travel together for work unless there're some important errand that require her presence. however we still managed to see each another and catch up in the pantry almost every single morning.

so then 1 night which was last week, I was having gathering with my former coursemate at sushi zanmai @ mv. we have our gathering once in a while and that night there're abt 8 or 9 of us. they are my former diploma coursemates at tar college many years ago. After diploma, some further their study at local at the course of their choice, some went abroad, some straight go to their respective working industry. for myself, i further my study locally at a particular course with few coursemates who were not present that night. we chat and gossip abt almost anything. abt who got opportunity working abroad, who became lecturer, who were married and bla bla bla. 1 of the topic we talk abt is relationship. surely they'll pointing toward those unattached single or foreveralone and check abt the status of their relationship and make fun of it. i'm one of it previously, been told them that I'm still single and find no one since past relationship ( I got dumped by my former 3 years back and been foreveralone since then) this time I will felt embarrassed if I answer the same thing. so I decide to twist the fact a little.

Me: yeah, I'm still single but then now having an affection with a girl la. she did show her interest. (deep in my heart sandy was the girl I meant)

one of the girl coursemate named YC then very anxious to know,

YC: who was that? in ur facebook? hmm.. I will inquire abt it.. ohmai.. someone secretly seeing someone now.. (in sarcasm tone)
Me: u guys would know it soon la if it work out. at the meantime please stop being busybody and ruin it la come on..

we laugh along and then continue to gossip abt other thing.. So the gathering end abt 9pm something and everyone heading to their own way back home. So I took the escalator down to ground floor and heading to cbtl. Whenever I at mall, I would get a latte with full cream milk to sip while driving back. after place the order, i stand at the side while waiting for the coffee to be delivered. suddenly someone calling my name at my back. i turn back and saw sandy waving at me at 1 of the table. she was with a guy dress up neatly look apparently at his middle 30s. i wave back to her. after grab the coffee from the barista, i went to their table.

S: hey, what are u doing here?
Me: I just had my dinner with a bunch of my friend upstair..
S: do u have time? Wanna hang for a while here?

my initial plan was going back after buy the coffee, but now sandy was inviting and also I wanna know who this guy was, so I decide to stay.

Me: abt to heading back home. but would love to join u guys.
S: come, have a seat.

then she point at me and the guy while doing some routine introduction.

S: kc daniel, daniel kc. kc is my colleague.

i smiled and shake hand v daniel. he grasp my hand so hard while shaking hand, apparently he was a person v confident. we have our routine topic that new friends used to have. throughout the conversation, i indirectly find out that daniel was sandy's ex, had been propose to sandy and met each other parents with their marriage discussed. apparently the marriage didn't work out as daniel now was a married man with a 4 years old girl. though sandy did smile along throughout the conversation, but to me it was made up smile and she was moody. as we chat, a young lady and a kid join in. they were daniel's wife and daughter. they excuse themselves to leave. after they leave, i and sandy chat for a while at the cbtl lounge. she apparently not very happy and a little emotional. i suggest that we heading back home and have an early rest. she nodded. it was a long silence as i walk her to carpark. after she enter her car, i had a little worry abt her condition, so i enter the passenger seat and break the silence,

Me: hey, not meant to offend but what happen to u? I was a little worry mang..

she look at me, her eye turned red as she start to talk. she told me abt her relationship v daniel is something she just realize that she still haven't let go until now. the marriage called off due to daniel was fed up v her bad temper, attitude and the mistake she made. she try to hold her breath as she talk but finally she can't control her emotion anymore and she burst into tear. she cry so badly. ohmai.. i can't help at all at this situation i offer her my shoulder by moving toward her and grab her back. she slowly stop crying after her emotion calming down, i release my arm and we have eye contact. i look at her watery eye and say,

Me: I'm so sorry, I can't help at all.

we remain our eye contact. dunno where the courage came from, i move toward her face and kiss on the tear trace on one of her cheek. it was a quick 1. when i have my conscious back, i back off and very nervous. i try to find some other thing to do by open the dashboard drawer and took out the tissue i could found

Me: u look like a panda now. come, let me clean up ur make up stain.

she giggling, then she smile at me and lean forward..

S: yeah lo.. so sorry for weeping on ur shirt. guess the make up stain won't be easy to wash out..
Me: is ok, it would be the proof that u cried on my shoulder..

she laugh. after tidy up her face, i look at her again.

Me: ohmai.. ur eye were swollen.

she smile.. I continue to say..

Me: i guess ur puffy eye will last until next day. why not tomorrow u just take a rest at home? i'll inform admin abt it..
S: ok..
Me: u better don't drive now, i send u home..

she nodded. so we switch the position and i drive her car send her back until her doorstep. after she open her door, she was apparently hesitating abt saying something. finally she look at me and say,

S: hmm.. what are we now?

(to be continue..)