When it comes to the world of penises, it’s a commonly held belief that bigger is better. Most of the time it is. What woman doesn’t love the added friction of a big penis? But even the most dedicated of size queens may find that sometimes a too-large penis can be more than a mouthful -- literally.

I once met a man who was so well endowed that the first time we had sex he punctured me. We awoke to find blood stains all over the bed the next morning, and, for once, it wasn’t because I was riding the crimson wave. Nope, it was just because his d*** was abnormally big. As the day went on, I continued to bleed causing me to worry if this was normal. The last thing I needed was an infection below the belt. So I called up a doctor friend to ask for advice. His counsel? Lay off having sex for a few days. You would think he’d know me better than that. Clearly that wasn’t an option.

Big Penises And Anal Sex: A Deadly Combination
Undeterred, I continued to have sex with the Anaconda, as I call him, and as a result continued to bleed here and there. It was all fine and dandy until one day he thought it would be a great idea to spring anal sex on me. In most circumstances, I’m a big fan of surprises. But “Surprise! My d*** is in your ass!” is not one of them. I screamed in pain and told him in no uncertain terms to get the hell off of me.

It didn’t get any better when it came to oral sex. The first time I went downtown, I could barely fit it in my mouth, causing me to accidentally graze his member with my teeth. After a little practice, I finally got it under control, but easy it was not. Still, his larger-than-life penis was not as bad as some of the others my friends have encountered. Some of my girlfriends have experienced penises so enormous they could only allow half of it inside before yelping in pain. It’s like going to a buffet and being unable to eat.

So what’s a guy to do when he has a big penis? Alas, unlike boobs, there is no way to make it smaller or larger (although I sure wish there was).

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