QUOTE(athlee @ Mar 13 2012, 11:29 AM)
Did the parents spend time with the child, provide education, teaching him to respect other people? Did they love him and made time for him? If they did, then no it isn't the parents fault.
But if the parents just provided for the child without caring or even if they love the child but don't spend time with the child to show him love and provide education, then how can you blame a child who knows nothing. If the parents are nonexistent in his life (latchkey kids) then the only education he gets are from those around him. The messages will be mixed, there will be nothing concrete, how is he to know what is right, what is not?
Chinese saying, 养不教，父之过；教不严，师之惰
just saw this topic and would like to share my point of view , not intending to offend anyone, if anyone feels so, please accept my apology
i strongly agree with 'the child which we give birth to does not come with a manual' (dunno whose quote is that)
parents(P) AND Family & friends (F) AND Environment they grow up (Env) AND Exposure (Exp) AND Education (Under Exp too)AND government policy (GP) are the factors i guess.
parents of the child
they cant be blamed wholly if they themselves are not taught by their parents (P) (they are also affected by the above factors),
influenced by F, (including having problem with spouse, which also affected by the above factors, FnF too) Env, Exp
not receiving proper Edu, teachers are also affected by the above factors
because they have to work for $ and dont have time or cant make time for their kids , y? bcoz our gov policy for staff welfare is not good enough and a lot crazy demanding bosses here (bosses are also human, so..no need me repeat again la)
in fact, almost everyone is affected by these factors and affect others and the cycle goes on and on.
so what should be done? those ppl who think they are so good and could change the fate of other ppl's children, they set up tuition centre, brain training centre, society for welfare, organise pre-marriage/natal courses. it's up to the parents or guardians whether to send their children for 'maintenance' , 'reset something' or 'system improvement' , that's the term i can think of if you are hoping this world or country to be that ideal or perfect (which does not apply to human and only to robotic stuff) and i dont want to make myself sound like a mom as i am not yet one.
always 'set' good example, 'install antivirus system' and take care of the hardware and software too. rmb that 'fancy accessories' are not that important compared to the attention parents should give. choose the right software and programme. some cartoons and comic books are really not meant for kids, start to teach from young, you might install something directly,indirectly in your child with o without your knowledge or remove some softwares over time, but it takes a lot to totally delete memories (good or bad) permanently or reformat your child. we are human, after all.
i like this one : listen when commented, change when proven wrong (rough translation of 说又不听，听又不做，做又做错，错又不改，改又不好。。。dont remember^^)