The steps i do.
1. plug ethernet to the pi. insert SDcard that I loaded the eg Xbian distro
2. plug in power micro-usb
3. wait like 20seconds then on my PC connected to same network, run Advance IP scanner to get raspberry pi's IP on the network(required just for first time usually)

4. use putty to ssh into the pi. <by default most distro enables ssh on pi to run on startup>
<at this stage you can run command line stuff, sudo apt-get ....>

5. if you require UltraVNC, then follow all this sos from myraspberrypiexperience- set up on ur Win pc and usually just one time.

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Added on October 19, 2012, 10:29 am
recommendation is dont buy those super cheap SD card. this page got horror story of countless SD card not working... to get a picture of what dont work.
I can only attest that my Sandisk ultra mobile class 6 32 gb work very nicely for the past 4-5months.

And it is a reasonable price at 100+    compared to a rip off I received for buying locally at a cellphone shop for 8gb RM$60

regarding the wireless adapter would disconnect once a while.... do u manage to root cause the issue?
is it hardware? (wifi adapter/ wifi router), power surge? (i think u r using a battery pack?), software? (RPI is not that powerful, just adequate. or is ur code?), or location? (where u place the router/rpi box)?
how do u connect the RPI? direct into RPI usb slot?
if u direct into RPI slot, u might wanna try to power ur rpi using a 2A USB  port (eg: ipad/tab charger)