Hi guys and girls here,
need to share something and get inputs, because i have no idea whats happening. My first thread anyway:)

Me and gf are both working adults, we had known each other and together for a year already. She is the happy go lucky kind of girl, many laughter and i love to make her smile and laugh. When we first started, we are very happy everyday, not much conflict, had a fair number of intimacy. Everything went well, though some argument becomes big, discover many conflicting personality, but the end of the day, we are really happy together when we are not arguing. There are laughters, smile everyday.

Lately, things start to change. Its been that way for few months already. I realise she reject MOST intimate approach, citing no mood. Fair enough. But even fonding, caressing she will also reject. Ok since if she dont like, i dun wish force too.

But this had been going on too long. I began to feel uneasy, and ask her. She says really no mood and dun wish give anymore.. But she say still got right? (yeah like once a month, which is very much less than when we first started). However i dun wish to force, if she no mood i also dun wish.

What is she thinking exactly? Our relation is still going good, still happy, laughter etc but when intimate things come into picture it became like non-existent anymore(even if she say still got give).

B4 u say she steering us to friendzone, i think its not the way even if i make it sounds like we are buddy everyday joke laugh etc. There is one time because i wish to avoid ME being reject approach for intimacy(horny moment) i say i dont want to stay overnight at her room, she got mad and want me to accompany her (just sleep beside) and we had an argument. Shes pretty and gorgeous fyi. How to stand if overnight?(or not stand)

b4 u say TS 2" and servis no good, its not the case also. We had fair share of ex-s before we met. She very satisfy*edited*

I dont know whats going on, damn confuse and hard to get on with it. I admit i am sexually active person but i did not want it daily or weekly. I can even live without making love with her but no fondling/caressing seems too much. What should i do?

also im not sure if i remember it correctly or not, i think she said she dont like sex with me.. Or just dont like sex. I think its not about premarriage things so she dunwan anymore and i should respect her put more effort in our relationship things blah blah. She just say dont feel like it. Ok great so she is potentially a wife that dont feel like making love.

This post has been edited by BAlm: Jan 11 2012, 03:48 PM

Careful. She may be interested elsewhere. Same thing happened to me before we broke off a few months later... sign of things to come. Be prepared for the worst. Good luck

I should be worried? I guess so too

T_______T

congrat u..

either u setter your lust outside or else become vege.
btw certain book do teach give advice in this case. try to find it.

good luck

+1 from the experience i've seen few of my frens.

get ready to say bai bai to your relationship. not cursing u but seems like something fishy is happening maybe elsewhere la.

LOL, she just don't really like sex thing. But i think she's alright, just need the mood.


Don't think so got 3rd party. hahahaha. About the overnight, why you reject. It's the signal. hahahaha

This post has been edited by shinkawa: Jan 11 2012, 03:40 PM

No, dont worry. It's not about making you worry or being worried but be prepared and dont take into heart or be too sentimental about the past. Easier said than done I know but there are ways to overcome. My tip. Go to a big bookshop MPH, Borders, Kino and lookup a book or two on relationship - esp the one that motivates after or during a breakup.

You dont have to wait for the breakup to happen - maybe it wont even happen, but these books really broaden and refreshes matters - like it gives you a different perspective on things and even tips on how to cope (if) things go bad. It will even give you tips on how to preempt (avoid) problems.

It's not the end until it's the end of the world.

i dun think it's necessary to tell ur sek story :facepalm:

or myb she bored with ur sek stail?

Aiyoo, my friend. Mood needs to be created laa. That's the difference between guys and girls. For us guys, we can get off work, eat dinner at KFC, come home, change into boxer shorts and Pagoda T-shirt, watch some Akademi Fantasia, brush teeth, then feel horny and want some lovin'. Girls cannot. They need to be in the mood. They want to be in the mood with you.

So it's up to you to create the mood. Simplest way is to take her out for a nice romantic dinner, somewhere fancy where you both have to dress up, eat some really good food, maybe have a bottle of wine with it. Advanced techniques would require more imagination.

This post has been edited by n00b13: Jan 11 2012, 03:37 PM

But when together still ok woh, like chat about future, joke to each other all still feel close. Normal kiss still got (ah i almost forgot we used to had tongue but now also no more or "still got right?" according to her).

I still feel shes being loving.. like she makes guilinggao for me, took care of all the itinerary, hotel booking, ticket to Japan on our trip to Japan this May. Its like everything still as going good, or even better. EXCEPT the intimate part

I dont feel like shes ditching me but i admit there is this little possibility that she might just do that

Fixed.....

Is it just me but this tips seems funny? But i appreciate it dude. Never cross my mind someonce can do it as prevention. Guess i might create another thread about the breakup

she's a squirter

kinda rare pokemon

alamak letme edit my first post.

yea rare pokemon. holo card leh. but u cant play it woh

Hmm hard to comment on this,

just curiosity, do she have weight gain recently?

She is thin to begin with but she did gained a little weight. More chubby abit compare last year but overall still model figure..

sign of preggy else breakup...if breakup find some spare if preggy bcome father day la...it's either this 2 things only.

ya hor. u r rite.. my waifu suddenly no wan sexing i so sadding.. that was like for entire month !! after tat oni know she got our baby liao

this advise is gooding..

how old d ur kid?

Well I skip the worst part and focus of biology side effect.

there is many cause of less desire in sex, unstable hormone, emotional disturb, unstable haid timeline or maybe worst body problem.

Unstable hormone and haid timeline is more common problem suffer by a lot female out there which lead to weight gain, skin problem and less active to sex. This can be settle by visit women specialist havea check.

Emotional disturb Is also another main cause of less desire for sex. There is many type out there like stress from work, sexual disturb, family problem, and etc which make her can't focus on such thing.
Female is very sensitive thing even small problem cause them a lot trouble and a lot of them will not share this with you, it will up to you to monitor it out.

About sleep together part, I only can advice you go find Mrs. 5 Before go to bed to reduced desire

Is it just sex or everything including dating, her general response etc?

do some role play
best....

Its a good advise.. sometime i did just that. Go shopping, what she like i will buy for her. Browse clothes and shoes with her, giving comment and she like how our interaction goes. She loves Japanese food so bring her there.

Then end of the day go back, just some hugging fondling then kena reject, says tired liao. If i cont the approach then she will snap back and says "why must have that?" "you do so much just for that?" "why cant we just sweet sweet without that?". Mind you im already not (dare) ask for sex, its just some intimate gesture also kena reject

Her period never miss! lucky! Cheers!!

but breakup......

From my observation her period never miss, and quite follow schedule. Hormone could be one of the culprit, but how do i convince her to female specialist woh. Because it seems like she is okay with her 'no sex' mood, and expect me to be same (wtf). She did not see it as a problem, which i can argue nothing as premarital sex is not that good to start with. If i make this proposal im afraid it will start another argument "why is that so important?" (of course she wouldnt know =,=).

Thing is, it started okay, but become very less this last few months. I am quite confuse and worried when she said she dont like sex(!!)

Erm.... not just sex. All intimate actions, fondling, passionate kissing etc etc. Dating and life everything is great as usual!

Been there.

Now I'm single.

Good luck.

You said you don't want to force... you can live without sex (sure boh?)
On the other hands, almost every complaint or point you made is about sex. Stay overnight, you also want sex (she might just want a company during the night, not a sex partner).

From what I read (I meant I read you), I think you want SEX badly.
Did I read you wrong?

Please tell your GF that you can't live without SEX. She must have SEX with you if she invites you stay overnight.
Tell her you want a break-up if you can't have SEX.
Just tell your GF what you need. Communicate with her. You may have surprises.

Good luck.

(P/S Just curious, have you told your GF that you desire more SEX? See what's her response.)

This post has been edited by ALeUNe: Jan 11 2012, 05:02 PM

Talking sometimes is troublesome cause people tend to miss understand what you try to tell.

Try search article online with similar case like you and if the article hit 80 90% you experience you can consider forward her to read.

Refer to what you say , I see her still try to maintain the relation but something is causing trouble here. Any possible of new beauty product is taking currently?

TS may try of this so call "Spanish Fly".....
Maybe it will work..but i tot TS said can live without ahem ahem.....

I think im in the same situation with your gf sometime really need the mood le im currently staying with my bf so we see each other everyday but we only do once a month and for kiss is like 2-3 months once and whenever he hug me usually I will push him away because I always work so very tired and dun really feel to have intimate moments just want to have his accompany

sometime we girls just want bf accompany but bf always think those only...

Aiyoooooo. Friend, this is not called romantic. You understand what is this thing called romantic? It's the thing that will get her in the mood. Clothes and shoes and Japanese food, while they may be things she likes, are not gonna get her in the mood.

Will your bf complaint to you or dislike?? not even hugging ?? @@

You want something specific, he wants something specific too. Fair I guess.

sometime he will complain a bit lor but he still understanding lor coz Im tired and shopping and watch movie also 1-2 month once

Thanks for comment, i dont deny it. She knew it. In fact, there are a period of times where we stay together daily. And no we did not have sex every other night. I din even touch her. The reason i dont want to overnight with her, is because when my desire kicks in, most probably i will get rejected and be dejected. I just dont want things like that happen.

before someone quote me and says i contradict myself, again my request when im horny alrd downgrade to fondling, kissing, BUT NOT SEX okay?

Yeah no sex is really okay (though we used to had it and i love it), but touchie touchie also cant? OMG a model gf suddenly become E-mei nun? thats my problem now

Beauty product... those BB cream or facial cleaner will have such effect?

Thing is, we used to be active but she suddenly just shut the whole thing down. Okay i can live with it, but im worried if i did marry her and had to be vegetarian the whole life?

She just show shes not interest anymore, i had no guarantee things gonna change after marriage.

Without sex is okay lah, still got left hand.. but apa tu? rmvb? later i search

if you r TS's gf i think he already break up with u ..hahaha

After one year of paktoh suddenly no interest in physical intimacy? Hmmm, could either 1) Hormones. Or 2) There was something else going on.

Withdrawing from you physically all the sudden may mean that she's getting it elsewhere. She no longer feels the physical connection to do it with you. Or maybe she felt guilty. Even possible that after having 'experienced' elsewhere, she's afraid that she may have picked up new "style, skill, aura, and body language", which may give away her position that she's eaten elsewhere, so she rather avoid you altogether so you don't pick it up.

Or recently troubles in relationship is affecting her mood?

Could have many reasons to it. But one thing for sure, doesn't sound like good news to me.

She knew it doesn't mean she knows it (obviously she forgot or ignored your needs).
You need to tell her again.
Tell her you desire more sex. Tell her you don't want a nun. Tell her you want her actively engaged in sex.
Tell her you are losing direction without sex (I mean you find your relationship is losing direction. Your relationship with her looks gloomy without sex).
You need to tell her. You guys need to talk and come up with a solution.

This post has been edited by ALeUNe: Jan 11 2012, 05:30 PM

I always accompany slept beside with her (sometimes whole month no sex and touch). Please dont blame bf only think those, we dont (maybe your bf ask for it everytime lah i dunno)

Sifu, im going to follow your guidance onward. Go sunway bungee jump and go i-city night photoshoot can boh(never tried both)? But soon i scare i run out of ideas woh.

Bring her to Hulu Langat see KL night view



Surprise her with some small gifts then the rest, you know what to do right ?

Please no spanish fly. That thing is toxic and can be fatal to the consumer.

I mean taking!
Diet pill , drink , injection bla bla bla

Girl, go get a pet pls, bf is not a toy.

Forget to mentioned, the problem also might be yourself. Any change on you might turn her off, odor from body mouth hair. And other also

yeah maybe...
so Im kinda lucky he being so patient and understanding with me
sometime less intimate doesn't mean we dun love our bf de sometime we need the right mood

QUOTE(uest91 @ Jan 11 2012, 05:40 PM)

Girl, go get a pet pls, bf is not a toy.

They might work - bungee jumping gives you an adrenaline high, which might lead to sexual arousal. And i-city looks quite romantic at night, I guess. But I recommend you just stick to the basics. Dinner, fancy restaurant, dress nice-nice, good food and wine. It doesn't have to be something new all the time.

she maybe bored of life...sometime u need to excited it..
SM perhaps...

Tips: try to urut her head, slow slow..the move your hand her nect & shoulder &.... to lower part..& lower part.....

This is how guys will think. If you reject them out of no reason, they will feel unloved, unwanted, frustrated and angry. They will feel that we don’t love them. To us, making love is not everything because in guys’ term, we have ‘communication, hugs, eye contact, breathe on his chest, lye on his arm watching TV’ to make us feel loved. To guys, is either you tug them, or there is less love or no love. After 2 or 3 times they will be furious, asking why this happened like TS.

I am not saying you sleep with them out of your will. That sound like getting yourself raped to me. I will suggest all ladies to go into your own head and mind, ask yourself why do you reject the intimacy. Telling them tired or no mood is confusing as they are not tired and in the mood. If there is this mood that makes you feel not wanting it, tell them how you feel, and not a mere, “I am tired/ not in the mood”. Try to get yourself in mood. Paradigm is important and what you eat is important too.

Sex is a big thing in relationship. Talk it through and solve the situation, guys and ladies. It is always a 2 way thing.

if she want "it" just give "it" men...haha but make sure u recharge ur energy with tongkat ali or energy drink...haha

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Added on January 11, 2012, 6:50 pmmybe she need a real toy haha

This post has been edited by mon678: Jan 11 2012, 06:50 PM

if she don't even want you caressing her, respect her. If u horny, thats your prob. Fulfill ur lust else where, not on your gf unless she dont mind doing it for you but from your case, she seem disgusted with the "intimacy" you had with her. Girls are meant to be loved, not lust bag to satisfy one's desire. If u really love ur girl, give her time. and You should be appreciate that she still with you.

This post has been edited by NoGrowth: Jan 11 2012, 08:11 PM

TS, follow n00b13's advice on the romancing part. However regardless of the outcome of that, I suggest you have a serious heart to heart talk with her. Get to know and understand how she's feeling and you tell her how her rejections make you feel. If she says something like "You did so much just for that?" you must let her know that you didn't do it just to get some action, but because you truly enjoy spending time with her and you really want to show her how much you love her.

Do you eat appetiser and main course FOR dessert? no, you eat those AND dessert completes the meal. Your intimacy for her is like the dessert. Get her to understand that you have your wants and needs too, and her rejection just makes you feel like she does not love you.

+1

Her response here is the answer to your frustration! She is afraid you are only after her body and not real love.

Maybe she is also testing you, checking whether you treat her so well, just to get into her pants at night or wat. You need to change that mindset of hers if you truly love her. It takes time and patience on your end. Try not to do all those and just be "sweet-sweet" , "pure love".. and maybe someday she will know. If you push too hard for intimacy, she might not like it and lose it.

maybe if u got the desire or urge to do it when be with her

and she dun wan

u find some excuse and go toilet masterbed lo

althou it's quite pathetic la but it's somehow caring in another way

I am not trying to make things worse here. I am just merely sharing my past experience regarding this issue. I once faced the exact same problem like you. And later found out her feelings have changed. Her reason for the less intimate moments is because she felt dirty doing it with me while seeing another guy. Your story may be different from mine. However, it'll be good if you keep an eye on her. Take care bro.

TS, from what I see, after all these year she may afraid the intimacy may end up in pregnancy.
After about a year of such happening, she might want to reserve it until the wedding night.

Since you say like (yeah once a month), then she is still there for you.

Human being will change after they give though to it seriously.

Just go with the flow. Important this is she still loves you and both of you can communicate well to keep thing smoothly.
If you still love her very much, to me a simply kiss and hung will make both of you felt the love is still alive.
Ask her, do not assume.

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Added on January 12, 2012, 11:32 amLingleeyen

I support you. +1

This post has been edited by ccyap003: Jan 12 2012, 11:32 AM

Maybe non really fancy on this thing, while just prepare to say bye bye but depending yourself also whether its it really help for improve a relationship

She probably have work stress or some other stress that she make her not in the mood.
She needs your support, need your understanding and care. Tats y she wanted you to stay over.. just to keep her company.
For girls.. care doesn't mean want you to caressing her. Love doesn't mean you make love with her. Got it?
She loves you. Probably make use of the May vacation... when she's relax and see if she is back to normal. By then, you can clarify with her and get an understanding if you should reduce your desire.

Be ready to say by3 by3 to your relationship.
Maybe she can get better sex from another guy ady.
That's why too tired or dont want to have it with u again.

Dont be too sad my friend.
I've been through that too.
All you need is just time to get it through.

aiyo ts...hahahahah. your this post made my day hahah!

Btw TS, i'm a girl. In a relationship for 3 years++ with the same guy.
Trust me when i say this...there was a certain period of time when i told my bf "Dear, i am not in the mood for sex or anything else. Can we just snuggle? and when he wanna caress or sth like that, i would take his hand away and told him "uncomfy oh dear"..

he would just go.."hmmphh" HAHA

this would last for several months though.


oh and 1 more thing...for example, when sleeping together. Then suddenly he hugs me, but i dun feel like being hug..i will tell him "let me hug you instead ^^"


TS, this is 1 normal thing la. Girls do have their ups and downs. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you also. Dun think too much.

Summary of above: -

She's a girl. Girls are inconsistent. Deal with it...

this is where u r wrong...after doing all that, u asked for it, if i'm a girl, the 1st tot that runs through my mind is "so u r doing all that becoz of sex?"...subsequently next outing, once u treat her nice, she'll start thinking "i bet he wants that tonite, treating me so good today"...

u should have always treat her nice, u dun ask for it everytime u treat her nice, sometimes u treat her nice, but let it remain as it is....

doing that in expectation of sex makes u insincere in ur doing.

This post has been edited by cempedaklife: Jan 12 2012, 06:17 PM

Just do a 360 degree turn and not ask for intimacy at all. That will get her thinking and wonder why you're not interested. Maybe she will post on lowyat cupid's corner too.

EDIT: If she says no the first time, respect her.

This post has been edited by Ratez: Jan 12 2012, 07:30 PM