Joke on Singapore

  Once during the gulf war, the President of USA , and the Prime Ministers
  of UK and Singapore were travelling on a warship that was cruising near
  S.Arabia.

  The 3 were talking about how brave their soldiers were; their discussion
  soon turned into an argument where each wanted to prove the bravery of
  their own soldiers.

  The President of USA said, "let me show u what is guts", whereupon he
  called his Colonel and said "Jump into the sea and swim 3 rounds around
  this ship!".
  The Colonel replied "Anything for Uncle Sam, Sir", jumped into the shark
  infested sea and swam 3 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing
  him like mad! After the successful 3 rounds, the Colonel came up to the
  deck and said, "I did it for Uncle Sam Mr. President!".

  The proud US President replied "That's what I call guts!".

  The Prime Minister of UK was pissed. He had to show. He called his
  3-star General and said "General, jump into the sea and swim 10 rounds
  around This ship!".
  The General replied "Anything for the Queen, Sir", jumped into the shark
  infested sea and swam 10 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing
  him like gila! (lunatic). After the successful 10 rounds the 3-star
  General came up to the deck and said, "Long Live the Queen!".

  The proud UK PM replied "That's what I call guts!"

  The Prime Minister of Singapore cannot tahan. He had to show that his
  soldiers have it too.  He called one of his Private,  Ah Beng and said
  "Soldier, jump into the sea and swim 50 rounds around this ship!".

  The Private replied "Oi, you siao (crazy) izzit? I juz bought my condo
  and I am paying through my nose. Now, U want me to jump and die?  If u
  want to Hao lian (show off), you jump into the sea yourself !
  @#*&%F!........

  The Singapore PM grinned and said "Now, that's what I call guts!"

THE GENIE

  A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He rubbed on it and a
  magical genie Singh with a turban appeared and said,
  "I grant you two wishes, Macha.."

  The Indian thought for a while and said,
  "OK, I want to be rich like a Chinaman!
  Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was smartly dressed, hair
  jelled and combed back like Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in
  hand.
  As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes, he noticed his own
  reflection.

  Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much fairer in complexion.
  The shocked Indian angrily summoned the genie and complained,
  "Are you deaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a Chinaman, not
  become a Chinaman! I don't want to be a Chinaman because they work  to become rich.."

  The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one more wish,
  "What do you want then, Muthu?"
  To which Muthu quickly replied,
  "I just want to be rich and I don't want to work!"

  Poof! He was transformed into a Umnoputra...