To all my kakaks and abangs here. I hope I am at the right topic to share my problems and seek advise.

It has been a heart-wreaking journey I have walked on, ever since I knew I am into girls. When I was younger, I had always been in constant worries to what-if people found out on my sexuality preference. However, as time passed and as I grew older, I realized that it is something I will have to face if I truly wish to be myself.

Lately, one-way-or-another, there have been members of my family suspecting my 'preference'. There were 'talks' and 'gossips' in the family concerning about my gender interest. One-way-or-another, my mother found out and she confronted me of my condition.

Being honest and the fact that I never planned to lie to her for any matter, I confessed and even though she was not able to accept initially, I poured out my feelings to her. That, what I am is still me, that this is not something I choose but rather what I have always been.

My mother grew to accept but I knew, deep down inside, she hope that I Will not turn to the 'dark-side'

Then there comes the case of her upsetting over these issues:
1.) what if your dad were to find out. ( my dad's has a hell-lotta-traditional-mindset and he will never tolerate this )
2.) what if relatives were to find out ( i have a hell-lotta relatives and mom was concern to how she will have to face them )

Then there's me, pondering and wondering inside:
1.) I am still me, I am able to accept who I am but is there a way that I could have enable the matter to resolve in a much more pleasant manner?
2.) I am rather good looking but unfortunately preferring towards the boyish dress-up right now, hence the suspect. Should i switch to a much more feminine approach to prevent further 'gossips' from re-surfing?

I just wished I could prevent any further 'chaos' from happening in the family. and especially to my mother, she has went through very tough times and I really do not want to see her having to upset over this again.
I know one-day-or-another, I Would have to confess but perhaps, now is not the time. Could I be that I am delaying till the time comes for me to find voice out?

Thank you for reading and the help in advance.