i think that's exactly the point.
normal users won't be bothered to try out each and every ROM releases, they have much better things to do.
and in many cases, ROMs by the community are not always perfect and are quite buggy.
this is not a problem if u r a geek who loves to play with ur phone all the time.

on the other hand when u buy apple, the company does all the optimizations for you so the user does not have to be concerned and bothered.
a team of high skilled software and hardware experts combine to give you the perfect magical experience.
in other words, It Just Works.

of course, many geeks find this a total turn off bcos they think they are smarter then others.
so with apple's controlled system, the geeks find no satisfaction.

it really depends on what type of individual u are born as, family and circle of frens.
....
as for apple copying others just 2 points to remind u.

1) ceo of google was part of apple's board of directors and during those times eric schimdt stole many of apple's innovative concepts. hence android was born. and like many copycats, it was not as good as the original. while they can mimic most things, android can never copy the natural smoothness of iOS, which is essentially the soul of the iphone.

after eric was booted out from apple's board, android world was caught in surprise by the iPad and it took them one year to come out with a competitive product. and still up to today, no android tablet can compare with the mighty iPad.

2) samsung was very successful with 1st gen galaxy s bcos it is a copycat of iphone. the shape and also the home button.
again, even its 2nd gen device looks great but can never compare to the elegance and premium material style of iphone 4.
the latest device is still using flimsy plastic while the 1 year old design still remains as fresh as ever.
don't butt hurt yea.
cheers evrybody.