Since we have a pilih kasih thread, thought might be good that we share some information on "middle child syndrome"

The middle child syndrome is very real. Somehow, the middle child usually turns out a little different from the rest. If we have 3, this is a definite problem. If we have 4, maybe we have some buffer as there are 2 of them in the middle.

My colleague come from a family of 3. She being the middle child, always complain she has no sense of belonging, hates the family, rivalry with her elder sister and parents spoilt the younger brother. I pity her sometimes when she share her sad stories but I'm not sure what can be done. There was a time she shared with me I-thought-painful-but-not experience.

She said to me how she is always the last, her story was about a playground incident that happened 20 years ago where she was the last to slide down from the slide. She hated it because she thinks the world should be ladies first but her brother took the slide before her.

It was no big deal for me but it bothered her obviously, 20 years at that. Scary to me for something so petty.

So, let's discuss on how we can avoid it.

More information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/14335112/ns/...child-syndrome/
http://www.essortment.com/middle-child-syndrome-62872.html
http://middlechildpersonality.com/middle-child-syndrome/

im a middle child too,..3rd of 6, ( not exactly middle la, but still midle) yes,i do agrred that this syndrom occur. but, that doesnt mean that the parents doesnt care at all about us. but, to me being in the middle is so much better, the eldest = responsibility more, the youngest = cared too much by parent n are restricted to their observation 24/7 cant do this, cant go there(my younger sister n brother doesnt even know how to take bus! n few friends)..hehe,..but middle = independent. hehe..thats to me la, i love being independent, and still at the same time i love n care for all my family members.

bold : it is true in this world ladies first, but also kids first before older one or a better word then ladies first is, FAMILY FIRST,.. put aside if the age gap is 1 yr or 2 yr, eldest should always care for the youngest, thats how u earn respect from them..if u always want to beat them on everything (i oldest, im first!) then, u are not showing a good example as the older sibling. this is my opinion.

ur friend shouldnt feel bothered at all,.in fact, she is now 20!! should can think better..one way to solve is to prove to her family that she can be succesfull despite of the thing she gone thru in whatever aspect (study, work, financial, love life..etc) just my opinion tho, would love to hear from others as well..

This post has been edited by hadzGBN: Jun 3 2011, 11:07 AM

Im the middle child in my family. i have an elder sister. i feel alright as a middle child. my parents didn't really "pilih kasih". when they buy something,they always buy 3 so that each will get 1. eg. 3 pieces of chocolate even when there's only 1 child asked for it.
being the middle child doesn't affect me much.

Its just all about the middle child itself...Whether he/she look things at a bright or darker side..

Its very normal since your a middle child, your older siblings usually will behave more matured compared to you so your parents would always use them as a reference for you...

And for the younger siblings they always gets more attention from your parents, not because they are more matured but just that they need more attention because they are younger.
Im sure when you were borned that time your parents will give more attention to you compared to your elder siblings so its the same concept here.

So as a middle child, you have to face maturity and act/behave like your older siblings and also since your not the youngest anymore then you should start behaving matured

+1 bro!! couldnt agree more, but u know laa,.when we were kids, thinking like a kid also, its ok, but when become adult n matured alrdy some still didnt erase that childish thought, huhu..

I think the age gap between the kids may also play a part in all this.. I mean, if there's a quite a close gap, you'd still be able to adapt better and the parents will still be able to pretty much even things out..

but if there's a bigger gap.. well..

I'm a middle child. My elder sister left the country years ago and my younger brother only cares about his own stuff.

When my sister was studying overseas, we need to spend money on her. Then my brother cannot study must go private college. Ended up I am the only one who had to do form 6 and go to local u because I help my parents to save money.

Now that we're all grown up, all the responsibilities of taking care of the home and parents land on me. I also don't make as much money as my siblings due to my education path which was determined by some system in our country.

I wish I don't have a brother and I swear to myself I will never ever have 3 kids in future.

broo! u are soo big heart n patient!! im so proud of wat u did!! u didnt even run away from it! in fact, u are the responsible child of ur parents!! thumbs up n repo!! +1000000!! .

its true, sometimes the pampered kid when all grown up just head their on way, n yet the parent still favor them..

I don't agree at all, based on my family. I did hear a lot about it before. However, my younger sister did not suffer from such problem. In fact, she's the one who's getting all the goodies, to a point where we nicknamed her, sataypo (I think only Chinese would understand, in Malay, like kaki ampu). Hahaha...

Actually I start this topic to understand others better. I have a colleague who suffer from this condition. Something petty of 20 years, cannot let go. Refer to my first post above.

I always adivce her to open her heart, discard the past but she like got so many grudges. Mouth keep saying love the siblings but heart like got so many unresolved issues.

We thought 2 kids is little, considered 3 and freaked out by this syndrome so may have 4 provided financially can sustain!

This post has been edited by merchant9: Jun 4 2011, 01:26 AM

Maybe your colleague is the one being petty? I mean, we ALL have problems with our siblings, we fight, we scratch, we argue etc, WE ALL DO THAT. It's not something that's unique to just one family. Did my older sister do something to piss me off when I was little? Hell yeah. Does it still bug me when I think about it now? Sometimes (bad days etc), not ALL the time. Heck, she still pisses me off nowadays, and I am almost 30 with 2 kids of my own!

Thing is, most of us, middle child or not, rise above that. What's stopping your colleague?

guys,

i am a middle child of 3 boys. i hated it. i hated every single bit part of my child hood with my siblings and parents. i still grudge on my parents for being so pilih kasih. but parents are parents.. now i even take care of them (those 2 baskets dont even wanna to give a rat@SS about their parents). and being a parent myself.. i swore if i were to have a third child.. my second child will be my golden child.

middle child syndrome does exist.

I am the middle child, I have two elder sisters, and 2 younger brother&sister, I have to admit that I did felt my parents didn't care much for me as compare to my other siblings, maybe this is common for families that have many children? and I think this is the reason why I was quite rebellious during my teenage years...

I'm middle child as well, I don't feel anything that you describe.