This is one of those situations when relationships are tested.
With so much money, time and effort to be given to make one's dream home.
Very stressful for us and our other half.

Important to give more and take less.

The process, however hard, will pass. With compromise and consolation, life gets back to normal.....until the next challenge.

as long they can make sammich, doing those is fine, but make sure they agree cos they will bring up next time in every arguements. (lol@women )

my wife let me me decide on everything and according to her i have better taste than her.....

"that's why you got me and i got you" Quoted the wife. Speechless.

My wife takes things for granted and I see some others the same too.

To those whose wife have given the power to choose and select, most will end up in a quarrel after reno is done. 99% guaranteed.

Could you believe it that my wife still expect me to do house work in the weekend after a long day at the reno site?

I thought it will be fair that I do the structural and electrical appliances and she manages the furnishings. Guess what! I got to do the furnishing too.
Budget overrun and now she wanted me to bring back those cartons that I packed to unpacked at the new house and bring home so that she could use! NOW, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT! :-(

The right solution is to get more cartons.

This post has been edited by limch: May 16 2011, 07:03 PM

Relationship problems, not renovation problems.

lolx..... turning like a ranting thread d...

male- practical, cost, and long term

female- taste and looks

thats what i can see

Oh man. Sympathy.

Your wife just wait in the car and look after the kids, no chance to quarrel also ekke but i do agree u got good taste

This post has been edited by zheilwane: May 16 2011, 10:33 PM

I agree with zheilwane..ryansia..you got good taste.

I'm rather surprised with all u men here that your wives don't interfere with the Reno process. All of my gfs are the type that makes the effort in research and comes to decision when it comes to Reno..especially the kitchen part.

Totally agree with you!!!

From design...to choosing furniture...all me only.

My wife-to-be...she said "I dun know these kind of stuff & i dun really have the interest!". "All i need to do is cook only mah, as long as the kitchen is ok, the bed is ok...then ok lor".

Went to home fair...she turn out sour face at end of day.

Man...all those surveying, researching, purchasing stuff...checking the house...all me.

& yes....those salesperson oso kind of curious why the man r doing all these instead of the lady. hahaha....

We bought and old and run down house, and did a complete reno.. extending the side the back, both floors, changed all the doors, redo the roof, the whole works.. and all this while, I was the one who did the research, plan the layout, etc. We engage an indo contractor to do the wet works and coordinated all the other subcons... even for the big move, I had to spend time to giv directions....

To save money, we did not engage any architect or ID, and I used excel to plan my layout, and downloaded some ID software to do 3D drawings so that my Indon contractor know what I want...

It was time consuming, and very stressful, becuz my husband did not take the same efforts to study our needs or research.. when I ask for opinion he will say, up to me... and then, when I am very fussy about certain things, and then he will tell me, chin chai lah... Decisions are made not based on needs, or aesthetics, but on cost.... When I assigned him the job to do paint choices, instead of driving around neigbhourhood to see real colours inn live exampe, he just collected a color chart..

Now that the reno is finished, I can at least get the satisfaction that, 95% of the work is my efforts and I have done a good job... I thank God, whle my husband did not participate, my sister was a great help to me helping me with site supervision, take me to select materials etc. Because of her, I saved a lot of money... My indon contract charged me RM120k all in, but the chinese contractor wld have charged me easily 200k....

I agree, when we do not hve teamwork, it usually means, we have a relational problem, or the other paartner just hve poor attitude.. I guess there are loads of ppl like that around, evn in office!!

Team work can mean different things to different people. Most of the times, you just need to find the one that works instead of insisting 50-50% work distribution! In my case, my renovation is 100% done by me. BTW, I went to HomeDec myself. My other half only make noise on the budget overrun as I am very fussy with everything and everything has to be good to top quality.

However, I am not complaining because she trusted my choice and decision. Similarly, I leave all the banking, travel Visa application (e.g. to JP) and tracking of our money and investiment to her. To me this is team work.

If you love her/him, you only can accept it because we can't change her/his attitude and mindset...

Everytime I suffered, I will tell myself, "this is your life"...

If other people can't give you happiness, why not you give urself happiness...?

What wise words!!!! Yeah, set your eyes on the glass that is half full and try to look for silver linings is the way to go. I ofthen remind myself to do just that so I can be happy and at peace. I suppse the benefit of being in charge is, you get to do waht u want whiever way u want!!

It is right to say that we cannot change another person. Howevr, how many of us are born with the gift to supervise renovation, find contractors, do space planning, do 3D drawing, or manage investment and money? How many house reno we do in a life time? While some learn to manage better and faster than others, I think it all boils down to attitude. My son recently resolved to lose some weight, and he has been waking up to run and exercise. My fren's daughter who wants to lose weight has been going to the gym consisstently.... My friend who is a good cook, will try and try and try, learn rcipes to cook up a storm for her family. Why are people motivated to go the extra mile, while others just throw their hands in the air and just say, "Accept me, I am like that!"?

This is not a perfect world, but I would say, when we do not participate meaningfully, or be a good team player, we may not be showing very good example to the kids....

I'm the final decision maker for our house renovation, though i still ask my wife for opinion. I am the one do all the resources and controlling our house renovation cost.

Initial we do have quarell as my wife want to hack a lot structure and want this & that, while we are intending to save cost because we get married and bought our house same year.

I think I'm among the group of "unlucky" guy that steps into your shop asking "which hob is better"
Have to go your shop for 2 times and at 3rd time, bring along my "boss", then only can dabao everything into my car.

I think guys have the responsibility to take care of everything, as told by my other half. It's ok for me, as long don't end up banding my ideas and efforts. I have been traveling for more than 1500km for the furniture, electrical appliances, switches, paints, bathroom and kitchen appliances, meeting with ID, comparing prices.... Banding 1 idea means a lot to me.... I'll blow off if she don't "handle with care"

You are quite lucky, got a good boss to help u make decisions. After all, end of the day the kitchen belongs to her, so need to listen to her demands also geh. Quite a good decision to get a double bowl instead of a single bowl as it would b more convenient for washing but that hurt ur wallet a little .

I like ur style, you decide things fast and very nice to chat with.

This post has been edited by zheilwane: May 24 2011, 12:13 AM

Can't believe people here still adhering to gender stereotypes - women supposed to look for ____, men supposed to do ___; men not supposed to look at ________ etc.

I am a guy and I have to look at everything in the house. Not a problem and I don't feel at all embarrassed or shy when I look at 'feminine elements' of the house like fabrics, cushions, plates or tea cups. This is 2011! Not 1983.