Just want to know if i'm just over reacting or there's really an issue for me to look into.

Few years back I went through an excruciating breakup. I don't really remember what I used to be like before the breakup, but now i'm always worried about what other people think about me. I don't try to look good in front of people and just be the way I am, but regardless i'm always afraid of someone else's judgement.

I don't feel like I can trust anyone, and I find it hard to open up about my feelings to anyone, not even to my parents. I worry that my friends are talking bad about me behind my back, or maybe they don't want to hang out with me because of my personality and I honestly would like them to tell me if I did something wrong.

I'm regularly in a state of overthinking, do they still want to be friends, are they talking stuff about me instead of confronting me directly. This is amplified by the fact that I've found out one of them does talk bad about me, but that person does it to everyone. Sadly, she's like the "core" of the group and I'm thinking of wanting out, but at the same time I'm quite sure I may not see some of them anymore if I do.

I know some might think this is stupid, but because of my breakup I get easily affected when it involves someone im currently interested in. We're not together and she's free to do what she wants. But im always worried she'll find another guy, and it gives me mood swings, really bad mood swings. Currently trying to distance myself, but don't think that's a way to fix a problem if its going to happen again. I don't want to worry over stupid things like that, but my body and brain just kicks in and I tell myself there's nothing I can do, just do what I can do and the best I can. It helps a little but it isn't good enough.

I'm a ball of insecurity and I get bouts of just not wanting to do anything because of my mood, I worry over things and over think them to the point I want to cry, but after my break up I had to "steel" myself to get over it, and I find it hard to express my feelings and it just keeps bottling up and making the vicious cycle looping again and again.