firstttttttttt@@

Hernandez and Carroll scored the same amount of goals. hernandez cost less than more than half of carroll's. fergie = genius.

Anyway, on Rooney. THAT IS BULLSHIT. I don't know where he gets the idea. It's not like Manchester United is going through a barren spell or anything. It is all about the money. To be honest, he is not doing too good either. Berbatov and Hernandez outshines him. Somehow, I think that he will leave us. Someday.

MANCHESTER UNITED stars are having regular sunbed sessions at the club's training ground.

But the Red Devils won't be coming out of them with a healthy glow - just plenty of vitamin D.

The club's masseur, GARRY ARMER, said: "The tubes have been altered slightly, so it is purely for vitamin D."

"The players go in for four or five minutes after training, about three times a week."

Let's hope the machines really have been altered otherwise fair-skinned PAUL SCHOLES could end up looking like my mock-up.

A regular intake of vitamin D helps maintain well-being and fitness - something RYAN GIGGS, a United veteran of more than 850 games, knows all about.

When the winger first played for United in 1991 he said injured players would simply "get treatment, have a bit of ice and go home".

These days the United treatment room is rammed with the latest hi-tech gizmos.

They were probably all tested out on OWEN "sicknote" HARGREAVES.