I'm in a dilemma right now. I got to know a girl while i was working in Johor many months back. I'm now back working in KL. She called me up earlier today to inform me that she is 3 months pregnant. I've only had sex with her 3 times......ever. We were together for only 6 weeks, so our love is not really that deep. I've yet to reply to her calls & sms's, as i'm deeply troubled.

Neither 1 of us knows which direction to take. Its impossible for me to marry her, b'cos there is absolutely no love between us. Moreover, she is unattractive(flat-chested, has bad breath, protruding upper jaw), not feminine & unsophisticated. I regret bedding her. I'm 30 & she's 31.

I realize that i've made a huge mistake & many folks in here will slight me, but pls offer me some solutions

you said it yourself. shes unattractive.
BUT WHY BROTHER WHY?
be a man
be responsible

U gotta take up the responsibility as a man! bcos u create the mess...
this is not the time when u can say ur regret... she is regret as well i think

if she looks so unattractive to u.. why u make love with her? somemore 3times...

and now... the fun part is coming now... congratz... u gotta take up the responsibility no matter what if ur a man!

This post has been edited by Make-upForever: Dec 8 2010, 11:11 PM

u screw her, u be responsible..

if no, u pay for one at chowkit better

hahaha...
congrat daddy...

happy father's day?

time to prepare to raise the kid...

Why oh why did you go for a creampie
Now you find goodbye ain't really goodbye

Because that time We were drunk,we know each other in the pub,after a night staying,so i take opportunity to try & make it work out between us. but in d end i really cant accept her.

1 step wrong, upset the whole situation

OK, unattractive mother aside.. are you going to take care of your child or what

when ur at hell u will know... bad luck follows ur forever.. ur son spirit...

btw, are you ronaldo?

I'm going to stamp down my feet here in saying that we do not allow the talk of abortion in here or in the doctor's terminology - "termination" as it is illegal unless it's certified by the doctor that it would endanger the mother both physically or mentally; and you need 2 doctors to certify that!

So do not expect the talk on abortion to be in LYN due to such incident as yours.

I would also encourage fellow forumers to adhere to this also and help report any posts about illegal abortion.

Thank you.

Just a reminder to all : This thread is not in Kopitiam. If you have nothing intelligent to post, dont.

'+1', 'happy fathers day' etc are spammy. If there are more junks than intelligent stuff here, I'm gonna close this.

said this n that bout her n yet u screw her.. dun always use drunk to make excuse, if really drunk u wont be f**king with her.

solution 1: be her hubby

solution 2: be a daddy n raise the child

i think you should also think on her side too man,imagine if you are the girl, what will you think if someone had sex with you and left you just like that,it is like you had been raped,so my only opinion is to marry her and be a responsible daddy,and remember,love comes from heart,not physical attraction,keep that in mind.And sorry if my words are like harsh,i am just trying to help

This post has been edited by rockmadhavan: Dec 9 2010, 02:07 AM

i agree wt u rockmadhavan....love comes from heart,not physical attraction....
be resposibility bro....

Bro, have u talk to her? U need to see her, discuss on how to overcome your mess , find a solution on how to raise the child. Who should raise the child, be it the mommy, daddy or together( gettin' marry) its up to u and the girl to decide. But I suggest that u concerns about the future of the child. I do believe that u r very wiseful and a good man, so be a responsible daddy.

And remember everyone, when go out with some girl, prepare some backup(condom).

what do you mean 3 times ever? all it took is just one microscopic sperm to get you into such mess.

be responsible. meet up with the girl. discuss with her what she wants to do. you two are not married so the choice is up to her. she can have the baby, then put it up for adoption, you guys can get married, she can raise the kid alone with your financial support (please choose this if she has a strong family support), there's a lot of options out there, if you take the time to think things through. i advice against abortion, especially in your case, since it is practically functioning as a birth control method.

so, good luck.

ok so u shared how u feel. but do u know how she feels? she is the one needing someone to actually go thru this with her and u are actually here, posting in a forum on what to do and insulting her outlook. this is not really something with a choice. you are the father, so be responsible. you might be miserable but she is the one suffering.

You've had sex with her three times. How about other men?

How do you confirm she did not sleep around and the possibility of finding you as a scapegoat?

Good luck.

It's not about pro-lifers vs pro-choicers. In this case, if TS and the girl choose to terminate the baby, abortion there is basically a form of birth control.

It's easy to say, I don't want this baby, therefore I choose to terminate this thing in my tummy. Fact is, there are other options out there. Giving up the baby for adoption is an option.

what an easy excuse from u... and what a jerk it made u...

go marry her..no excuse please..
u the one who make her suffer..
if u make abortion,she's the one who feel the pain..not u
plz be responsible..
dont give excuse of her appearence..
its just show the truth of who u are..
nowdays, many women are suffered from irresponsible man. bcoz of tht, u can always heard this slogan..
Lelaki Semuanya Sama..Dah Sedap Lepas tu Bubye...huhuhuh

You are not a nice person.

In the six lonely months in JB you can have her then blame it on the wine. Once is a mistake. Twice can be forgiven. Three times is intentional. You are just abusing the situation/relationship.

When you need it, you did not complain about her looks. When trouble comes, you speak the lingo of a sour grape. Anyway, what did you really do? Cover the face and hit the base. If that was the case you are not only desparate for a freebie but stupid enough not to take safety precaution.

If you had any conscience, it is very clear what needs to be done. You dont even need this thread. You are stupid enough to think that people will symphatise with you if you bad mouth her looks and character. Hello, wake up please. As member of the human race nobody will offer you sympathy. I just dont understand the reason for a staff and a mod to tolerate this thread.

Twenty years from now a stranger will come up to you and say you are the father. Think about that. Given your stupidity, perhaps there is mone than one stranger that will come up to you in future.

This post has been edited by faceless: Dec 10 2010, 10:06 AM

I with this line of thinking also, so many mistake being done and now expect the kid to pay for the mistake?
It is not easy raising children with love these days, what more if there is no love?

Suggest TS & girl seek professional advice!

oh 3 times and you think she is unattractive..

it was the worst excuse, please accept the consequence like a man..
you are not 18 or 19 idiot.. u r 30!!! damn it

That is an improper way to treat women saying :



I think ure not so interested with her but more interested in having sex with her , use CONDOM if so . Do not treat a woman like a toy to be played with . Now that she is in-pregnant with your child , u should b responsible to what u've did .

safe sex, TS?
lucky you just got a kid. Imagine if you get aids instead.

girl-dun marry her
child-born the baby
the baby-let other ppl adopt if u cannot take care of him/her
if mami wan raise the baby-at least send some money to her monthly la.

settle?

Unprotected sex , i wonder if he already gets it

oi,u say drunk.then f*c* 3 times.then be with her for 6 weeks.n u so dam stupid to knw she is pysicaly unattractive after all this hapen.if u saw about character maybe it takes 6 weeks.but y did u try on for a girl u find unattractive?
jz to use her temperorarily?
y nvr go chow kit.so much better 4 u wt.nw be responsible,have B*lls n go tok to her n settle this.hope u end up marry her.n she oso so stupid to trust a as**ol* like u.

Discuss with her regarding this pregnancy. We need to know what she thinks also. Obviously you don't want to live with her. What she thinks. Does she want this baby? Will she throw away the baby in river or dustbin?

If she don't want the pregnancy just go for abortion?
If she want to carry on with this pregnancy, talk to her regarding how to take care of the baby? With who the baby stay? You must share the burden in taking care of this baby as you are the father. you no need to marry but you can give her monthly allowance for taking care of the baby and visit your child every week and be a good father.

By the way, Can your ex-GF sue you for making her pregnant and refusing responsibility? just wondering.

nice one, you were drunk for 3 times when you screw her?
be a man dude

Isn't this called rape. When she is drunk you took opportunity. You are a criminal.

Wow.... what a nice topic here BUT i think this is wasting bandwidth lor.

ADMIN pls lock this thread la... the person who start this topic here is already gone to hiding i guess.

To all others forumer who read/reply here... enough is enough la... i guess he also create a drama here only.

Cheers

So very well said!!

Option One: Bite the bullet and man the fack up and take the responsibility.
Option Two: Walk away as thou as it is a day-in-day-out basis.

Yours truly can choose either one.

Regards, Joey

You know what they say... when you r drunk, everyone becomes pretty...

pity the girl... victimised... ts need to give support money for the child

Seems like most of you will say own up and take responsiblity for it. Before owning up and becoming responsible for it, it's probably fair for the TS to confront the girl and:-

1) Inform of his stand
i.e (want/don't want) the baby, (want/don't want) marry the girl

2) Ask the girl what is her stand
i.e (want/don't want) the baby

3) If the answer is to not want the baby, then it comes to a moral decision. Abortion or adoption? If the girl wants the baby, and TS don't want, TS should conduct DNA test. For all you know it's not even his...

4) TS would need to decide whether he wants to give child support if the kid is his.

Regardless, I wouldn't comment or judge on who's right and who's wrong. It's their life and it's a mutual decision for them to fornicate. Both are equally at fault for the result.

does your parents know bout this? what's their opinion on this? how about her parents?

why not you try to confirm whether the baby is yours? You are a jerk for not returning her calls. the girl may be suffering from mental stress right now due to the sudden pregnancy and no reply from you.

Also, what makes you think you can have an "E" cup, fresh breathe, pretty jaw, feminine etc girls? Who are you? do you look as good as your avatar pic shows? you are highly educated? you are sophistcated? you are fit with 6 - pack? you have the best breathe in the world? your face is to-die-for? you are holding a high position in a company? you earn a lot? in conclusion, are you the last fantastic man on earth? if not then why you condemn other ppl? I realy hate guys that judge girls by their outlook. Must be thin (but with E or F cup breast), pretty, talk softly, walk like model, etc, etc.

You said she's unattractive and don't have love, yet you had sex 3 times with her

Are you sure it is just a lust, or trying to make it work?

I guess your only solution is get married. Or you need to talk with her about this.

Pandai buat pandai la take care...

To be sure do a DNA Test that might help!

my advise, jus ignored dat lady...... this is typical hit n run cases.....

marry her, you are responsible man isn't. sometime responsibility must be put in priority.

why this not locked yet?
it's useless without TS replying

I guess the mod are sympathetic to TS cause.

If TS had not bad mouth the lady I am sure he will get some sympathy.

said that already sleep with her 3 times n 1st time when is when u drunk?2nd n 3rd time??hahahaha happy fathers day!be a man dewd!

orang mau jadi ayah pun susah!
u ada chance boleh jadi ayah, tapi nak lari lah, nak gugur lah...jaga jaga petir masa hujan wueh! kena lightning strike, sia sia jer!

LOL ya man cannot 'kang' but can get it up, now duwan.
but seriously....if really duwan, better dun, coz if force later also divorce.
Just tell her u pay for the upbringing of your child la...after checking if its yours. U need to b responsible sumhow.

At least give TS a chabce to reply first before closing. He hasnt log in in 7 days.

Not everyone logs in to LYN everyday like you guys.

WOW!
seems like i am not the only one having a bad day. someone out there is having an even nightmare day!

anyway, if i am you, seems this girl is too easy! get drunk and have sex. what a biatch!

dont get trapped. Get DNA test...CONFIRM everything. U said u had sex with her 3 days....is this consecutively or she sleep with other people?


DNA TEST and CONFIRM FIRST! Now adays girls are very dangerous and mischievous. Dont bear the burden of something you may not be contributing

FYI, i'm as good looking as my avatar . thanks for asking. normally i've very good taste in women, but somehow my standard dropped drastically on this one. I definitely can't marry this one! I can't live with her. Impossible!

I'm normally not very choosy but i have a fetish: I LOVE BIG BOOBS This criteria is not an option!

I guess i've already come to a final decision : GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION

May i request for advice on how to go about this process? Will the adopting parents identities remain anonymous? How does it work? Does the govt have such programs? I would like to give up the child for adoption to couples who have a solid financial background but r unable to have kids of their own due to obvious reasons.

Thanks so far to all who have replied. I appreciate all yer responses.

at least here is some one wants an adoption... huhuhuh

http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1633069

If you choose not to marry the mother, then the decision is not yours to make. It's up to her whatever she wants to do with her baby since the child is not legally yours.

Well , juz another "oh tats me !!!" whore , juz b yourself and stop with the fussing urself lookin like someone else , no personality , it makes ppl laugh at u

Even , ur gonna b responsible to wad uve did , by not doing it urself , GOD will help u

Peace ~

I agree. The decision to put the baby up for adoption is the mother's since you don't want to marry her.

Have you even discussed with her what SHE wants to do instead of trying to weasel your a$$ out of your own mess???

I suggest you leave her go working in oversea..

I guess there is no end to you vanity. Have you not realised that the more you try to justify yourself the more you show your inconsistency.

i agree with greenlemontea...if you dun like her and get married, end up will divorce then u hurt her one more time. get to know her first then only decide but baby must definitely take responsible.

p.s. u think u r handsome?

Well then good luck in looking for a Hot looking model as your wife. I hope you will find a very pretty face and live your life happily ever after. But trust me, god will not give ppl like you a kind-hearted woman to be the mother of your child

why waste time talking to TS.. he will not take in any advice already as his mind is already set. he already knows what is his next step he wanna take.. he just needed ppl to support his view thats why he posted on LYN...

I am doubtful about the ever after thing. Age tends to take away beauty.

---

Added on December 16, 2010, 10:41 amAgree.
He just wanted sympathy. He wants people to say something like "dump that ugly b i t c h"

This post has been edited by faceless: Dec 16 2010, 10:41 AM

Dont drink and screwdriving... Alchohol make u cant compare between gorilla and lenglui

That's what botox is for.

In all seriousness, keep the TS bashing to yourself. He already established the fact that he's an immature manchild whom ran to the forums to whine about his ugly babymama with big boobs.

I'm more interested in helping him help the mother and the child.

You can only help mum and child provided TS is listening to you.

I will take heed to this advise, "In all seriousness, keep the TS bashing to yourself."

do DNA test first la..confirm that is your baby..then decide to marry her or not..

All that bashing will make him listen less, dont you think so?

be a father man..
bad breath? use colgate..
unacctractive? then u can still sleep with her... thats mean shes ok


Alcohol = make lot problem
drink more learn more (MILO)

*be a responsible man..

This post has been edited by mav_850: Dec 16 2010, 11:22 AM

Now i really wonder when u gonna die in a accident? Seriously like u this kind of b@stard should go die for other girls sake.

I hate these people treat sex as a game like woooo~ so shiok~.

Regret have sex with her? oh c'mon after sex already then said regret?

Huge mistake? if u got think about "sex with a girl that u don't love its would be meaningless" then u wont suffer in this kind of stupid problem.

Lemme offer u a solution.

Go and Die for other girls sake.



"normally i've very good taste in women"

Oh really? so u said 1st time u was drunk and made a mistake has sex with her. Can u explain about 2nd 3rd times?

"standard dropped drastically on this one"?

Nope ur standard never drop. just u always have sex for fun.and who cares? as long as got a free sex for fun.

"I'm normally not very choosy"

That means u will go have sex with any girl if they wanted to? good luck to u bro i'm 100% sure will got plenty problems like this case will come to u.

"I guess i've already come to a final decision : GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION"

Now i come to a final wonder : "Would that child will take revenge on u?"

"I would like to give up the child for adoption to couples who have a solid financial background"

Wow..Why have to be "solid financial background"? plan to ask for $ when ur kid get rich?

1word to describe you - B@STARD.

This post has been edited by Dizzy_Destiny: Dec 18 2010, 07:37 PM

mod accidentally moved this from kopitiam? the TS dont sound worried oso

be careful brother maybe she want to cheat you...Just my opinion

If he never anyhow have sex with girls then he wont have any of problems like this.

Even she wanted to cheat him but still who ask him did has sex with her in the 1st place?

Just my two cent thought.

This post has been edited by Dizzy_Destiny: Dec 18 2010, 07:41 PM

Be responsible, but not by marriage. Discuss with her, and even if abortion is necessary, just be by her side when it happen.

A child is going to be a long term liability in financial term as well as taking care of them. If neither of you are prepared, better call it off than eye sore seeing you guys push him/her around like a ball. Seen it with a relative and sucks...

Tho he's most proly a troll but then again he has a point, everyone pointing finger at him but the girl oso stupid and just as much a fault. If you force him to marry her, you think the baby gonna and wife gonna live happy? Baby really stressed a relationship especially when finance is an issue.

If you ask me, I duno how to solve this oso, he edi said he has no love for the girl, so forcing oso no point, would make the situation much worse.

Let this be a lesson to girls out there, be smart and protect yourself, dun just let any tom, d*** and harry bed you, the consequences is damaging.

I bet you'll be forever haunted with this for the rest of your life if you're deciding to terminate your infant's life or to give it up for adoption. one day, when you're an old man, you'll probably be constantly reminded of him/her. For now, you yet to feel the guilt. Who knows maybe you'll feel guilty afterwards or when by the time you're old. Maybe, one day, he/she will be looking for his/her biological parents.

For your infant's sake, I would consider the adoption as the best option though. It's better to let a pair of parents who can't conceive who would shower your child with love and care, rather than having a father who wouldn't want him/her in the first place, just mainly because his/her physically unattractive mother.

Hmm its sure will be a lesson for the girls. but still..this lesson cost a litter bit expensive lol


If she were cheating hope for a cheap father then she deserves for the lesson

What about this retarded b@stard TS?

Well i hate these people treat sex as a game.

This post has been edited by Dizzy_Destiny: Dec 19 2010, 11:37 AM

this is a +1. Even in RWI these days there are so many kopitiam like posts annoys the crap out of me.

TS, 6weeks! i'm guessing it's 8weeks now. Abortion is illegal in M'sia and period for abortion is 12 weeks or less.

You'll probably have to discuss with her the options and the consequences, i can name some.

If she decides to have the child
- Are you going to marry her? If you marry her, how long do you think that marriage will last?
- If you aren't going to marry her what are the implications she will face as a single mother. Even if she gives up the child for abortion she'll face persecution for having a baby out of wedlock.
- Abortion, at this stage would also carry the risk of her damaging her womb and miscarrying in the future other than the fact that it's illegal.

I think we guys have it easier in that sense where we don't have to bear the brunt of our mistakes when it comes to situation such as these, so if i were in your shoes and made the mistake i'll try to share some of that responsibility.

Here's my bit if you really don't like the girl and see no way of making this work. I'd do this, tell your parents, talk to her parents, pray they don't scream their lungs out or find some way to make them sit down quietly while you explain the situation. Then say that since things are not working out, marriage is not a solution either, so if you're keeping the baby pretend to be her fiance the entire time during the pregnancy so she can save face, you can break up after she has the baby(You'll get slated as a bast@rd but at least that's taking responsibility). Consider having the baby up for adoption unless either set of parents want to keep it. I'd suggest the guy's side, less persecution from relatives, etc. I'd give you plus points for at least trying to find a solution rather than running away immediately.

To the rest of you, it's easy to gloat when you're not the one facing the problem how about a little karma sometime eh.

This post has been edited by Tak3shi: Dec 19 2010, 01:53 PM

Abortion is illegal in Malaysia unless stated otherwise.

No one should bring abortion up.

TS is definitely not fit to be a parent. Which means marrying the girl and raising the baby is out of the question. Which leaves us with either:

1. TS paying child support to the mother and visiting the child every now and then (highly doubt this will happen)
2. Giving the baby up for adoption

Personally I think abortion (insert option no.3 which is illegal here) will be the best choice since there are too many babies up for adoption and too few people who are willing to adopt. No point bringing a child into a world which doesn't want it anyway.

I'm tired of invi-ing posts. Will close.

PM TS privately if you want to offer solutions / adopt his baby / flame him / curse his family etc.

This post has been edited by Syd G: Dec 20 2010, 10:14 AM