A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."

Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling and Glen Johnson have all been ruled out of the England squad for Friday's match against Moldova.

The Liverpool trio are all said to be suffering from altitude sickness after spending more than 3 hours at the top of the Premier League.