A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

Memorable dates in Manchester City's Illustrious History:

1937: Division 1 Title Winners for the first time, under Wilf Wild
1956: FA Cup Winners under Les McDowall
1968: Division 1 Title Winners under Joe Mercer
1969: FA Cup Winners under Joe Mercer
1983: Yaya Toure is born
1984: Yaya Toure's 1st Birthday
1985: Yaya Toure's 2nd Birthday
1986: Yaya Toure's 3rd Birthday
1987: Yaya Toure's 4th Birthday
1988: Yaya Toure's 5th Birthday
1989: Yaya Toure's 6th Birthday
1990: Yaya Toure's 7th Birthday
1991: Yaya Toure's 8th Birthday
1992: Yaya Toure's 9th Birthday
1993: Yaya Toure's 10th Birthday
1994: Yaya Toure's 11th Birthday
1995: Yaya Toure's 12th Birthday
1996: Yaya Toure's 13th Birthday
1997: Yaya Toure's 14th Birthday
1998: Yaya Toure's 15th Birthday
1999: Yaya Toure's 16th Birthday
2000: Yaya Toure's 17th Birthday
2001: Yaya Toure's 18th Birthday
2002: Yaya Toure's 19th Birthday
2003: Yaya Toure's 20th Birthday
2004: Yaya Toure's 21st Birthday
2005: Yaya Toure's 22nd Birthday
2006: Yaya Toure's 23rd Birthday
2007: Yaya Toure's 24th Birthday
2008: Yaya Toure's 25th Birthday
2009: Yaya Toure's 26th Birthday
2010: Yaya Toure's 27th Birthday
2011: Yaya Toure's 28th Birthday; FA Cup Winners under Roberto Mancini
2012: Yaya Toure's 29th Birthday; Premier League Champions under Roberto Mancini
2013: Yaya Toure's 30th Birthday
2014: Yaya Toure's 31st Birthday; Premier League Champions under Manuel Pellegrini

I watched her as she bent down to sniff a flower. "Do you like flowers?" I asked her with a smile. "Oh, more than almost anything.. Except you," she replied, a light blush spreading across her face.

I grinned even wider and kissed her cheek. "One day, I'll buy you some flowers." "Oh, don't tell me! Surprise me!.. But... You promise, don't you?..." She looked up at me with big, brown eyes.

"Of course. I promise."  I remembered this conversation when I went to visit her one day.

"Surprise!" I said, presenting a bouquet of red roses from behind my back. I smiled widely, kneeling down next to her and leaning on her tombstone.

Tears flowed down my face as I spoke to her. "I promised you.. Remember?.."

Hmm ... so far, chuckled to almost all aLittleMisfit's jokes ...

Car of the Year, Blue one ... I don't get it, hmmm ....
(coz maybe was thinking blue colour normally associated with young boys, and pink with young girls ...)