"I'm sick of you teasing me about my weight," the wife snapped as she walked out the door.

"Please babe don't go," He pleaded. "Think of our son."

"What son?" She said.

"You're not pregnant?"

Just after the wife had given birth, Sam asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at Sam and said "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park."

lol took me few moment to understand it 

Anal sex is a lot like my first car.

I didn't really want it, but my dad gave it to me anyway.