A Bloke met two girls down the pub last night who had strong Cardiff accents.
The bloke said, "I know that accent. You two ladies are from Scotland, aren't you?"

"Wales, you idiot," one of them replied.

"Sorry," He said, "You two whales are from Scotland, aren't you?"

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL

really nice done

Welcome to version 2

Version 1:
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/398704

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A bloke goes to the doctor and says. "I got this sex problem doc."
The doctor asked, "Ok, tell me about your average day."
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up at 3am for nookie and then again at 5 so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work."

"Oh I see", says the doc. "No, hang on". said the man." .... you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl everyday and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No you dont" said our hero, "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom."

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No no you dont" he said"
When I go lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm really fond of and we nip out for a quickie."

"Now I understand", says the patient doctor, "No, hang on" said the bloke. "When I get back to office, my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll sack me."
"Ahh...", said the doctors, "now I see..." "No, there's more", said the man, "when I get home, my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and sex again afterwards."

"So, whats your problem then?" ask the doc.

"Well....", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

Edward Cullen and his two vampire friends walk into a vampire bar.

The first vampire friend orders a "Blood screwdriver",
The second friend orders a "Blood on the rocks",

Then Edward asks the bartender for a cup of boiling water,
"Just a boiling water" says the confused barman
"yes please" says Edward
Still confused the bartender obliges and gets Edward his water

After his water arrives, Edward reaches down his pants, pulls a tampon out of his vagina and starts dipping it in the cup and says, "I'm making tea"

to understand the real "gender" of the actor

to understand the real "gender" of the actor

I always hated weddings because old people come over and poke me saying "You're next".

They stopped when I started doing it to them at funerals.

I don't see why people expect female linesman to be worse than male ones.

I mean, if there is something women are good at, it is pointing out mistakes made by men.

I met these beautiful Thai girls in a club last night. Although they have very thick make-up, We really hit it off and eventually I plucked up the courage to asked them back to my place. Things were going really well but when they started stripping I had the shock of my life.

They had vaginas.