What lies on the ground 100ft in the air?

A dead Centipede.

sir, i cannot brain this one

100 feets in the air la. it died and its terbalik with all the feet up lol

Calling out your ex-girlfriend's name during sex is a nice way to show your current girlfriend that you won't forget her either after you leave her.

lol..i keep thinking that feet as a measurement unit..thats y i didnt understand

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busylunchtime. They got behind a very fat business woman who had a pager with her. After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly,

"Wow, She's fat!"

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet. A couple more minutes passed by and the little boy stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced;

"Her bum is this wide!"

The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.

Just then her pager began to emit a "beep, beep, beep"

The little boy yelled out,

"Run for your life, she's reversing!"

LMAO!!!

hahahahah what a kid... if this were to happened when i was there, i would laugh my ass off on the floor.. hahah

Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife.

I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she says

"Remember, you have a wife."

^or in some cases "remember, u have a girlfriend"

insta-flaccid

What is the lightest thing in the world?

A penis...even a thought can raise it...

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."

hahah this makes my day

very nais

Russell was at his Mum's when she said "Russell, you're 29 years old now, when are you going to find a decent girl, one with morals and not the usual tarts you seem to attract and settle down"


It was at this point the girlfriend left the room in tears.

'Russell, u're getting old now *frown* and u're not married *more frown* y don't i find some nice girls for u huh?'

good joke

A guy was out for a jog one day and was heading along the side of a busy road.

A few minutes into his jog he came across a woman lying at the side of the road. She was in a bad way and it was obvious she had been in a road accident.

He checked her for ID and found that she only lived around the corner from where the accident had happened.

He quickly ran round to the house and banged frantically on the door.

The woman's husband answered the door and the jogger quickly said "sorry pal but your wife looks like she has been hit by a bus".

The husband replied "Aye I know, but she's got a lovely personality"!


This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Feb 19 2011, 11:09 PM

er..?

"hit by"