say that ..it has been proven by scientist that it's harmful to baby! make up a story..say..can lead to permanent damage to internal organs!

phythia, will try that but i think she'll say u bluff~!

the other side effect is blood thinning... if it dun strengthen baby's heart i think bb could bye bye due to blood thinning i dunno... am i being disrespectful? sometimes i really wonder wat wrong did i do... co sleep kenot... baby will stick to u like super glue later on... nurse to sleep kenot... baby next time need ur nipples to sleep... always cradling baby kenot... later bb needs cradling if not cry cry cry... i think i'll first...

really you are such a patient and good DIL
i would hv complained to my hubby and also told my MIL off. I dont care if hubby gets sandwiched, he should stand up for the truth and not just some traditional beliefs. Disturbing family harmony? ask your hubby to stay in your parents house and see how he likes it...

I think yr baby might hv been having digestion problems thats why he could not sleep... no doubt, since u already gave him his first solid feeding indirectly... not sure if your baby's digestion is ready for any kind of complex carbo or not

as for today's air beras feeding, pls tell yr MIL abt the sleepless nights and how harmful it is for your baby's tummy

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Added on March 15, 2011, 2:11 pmu know my MIL suggested to give 'nestum' in baby's milk at 2 months, cos he used to be urinating often (like HELLO?), and crying for milk at nite (duh!). I buat dunno, but one day she told hubby oso...

Thank god hubby is very logical and hands on with baby. During our paed visit, i purposely asked abt giving nestum to baby at that age and he told no solids till 6 months cos baby digestion is not properly developed.

After that when MIL mentioned 'nestum' again, hubby told her politely.

Get your hubby to be more hands on and aware on childcare.

This post has been edited by qarezma: Mar 15 2011, 02:11 PM

Your MIL is very lucky to have a DIL like you you and very very lucky we arent' her DIL as I would definitely wage a war!

I think it's about time for you to be firm. Especially letting your husband know and saying that this is your child..not hers.

qarezma, sorry to inform u but this is not his first solid food... his first was braised pork kuah when he was 2 mths old... altho it's just a finger dipped wif the kuah... wat can i say? hb dun say anything... i just have to keep my mouth shut... the other time i tried to say... can c mil unhappy... it was coz she wanna give him some traditional mixture bought from chinese herb store for his "scare"... then the last time i told hb abt things mil did... both of them went cold war... mil ignored the bb... hb blamed me for the war... so... conclusion i rather quit my job n watch my bb... eventho i can't stop them at least when the paed/doc/nurse ask wat the bb eaten/drink i can answer... so now i turn to u guys for answer n then hb will always question me y do i believe the replies whereas his parents give me/him/us advice... i dunno if he's in dilemma or i'm in dilemma...

phythia, no use... coz he'll say u n i dunno how to handle bb...

This post has been edited by nicKit: Mar 15 2011, 02:55 PM

Sigh...tell you hb...when he was born...his parents took care of him..now it's his baby..so it should be you and him.

i really feel your pain..and to be honest..i feel very angry for you...sorry yeah..can't help it...wish i can scold them for you..hahahahha

This post has been edited by phythia79: Mar 15 2011, 02:59 PM

haha well said!!

dont say the 'this is your child, not theirs'
With ILs like yours, i think they will get easily offended.. i used that line once, and i tell u they got so angry, it was probably the most serious row between ILs and myself... that was during my 1 month confinement stay with them.. dont want that ever again

apart from keeping hubby hands on and updated with babycare (whatever i read in books or online), I always emphasize to him, while our parents upbringing last time may not have been completely WRONG, it is not RIGHT either. With the developing world and technology, we must keep up with latest findings and BEST PRACTICES with baby, because we dont want any negative consequences... baby is our LIFE.

Always ask questions to your paed.. during our each visit last time, we used to have like 5-6 questions we compile to korek while we are paying the consultation fees... and let hubby be aware

phythia, ya... it's painful yet i can't do anything abt it... it's not like falling out of love kind of ez... sometimes when i'm alone i'ld tell bb that is mummy treating u rite? sorry can't protect u... u always get to drink/eat funny stuffs...

qarezma, hb dun go to paed wif me anymore... so i go alone... actually i go to klinik kesihatan the last visit he asked me if i can handle bb alone... i said y not? my tots were funny ler... if i say kenot tomolo u take mc issit... wat u said r rite... i think i'll use ur quote next time... let's c how... coz i always gets accuse of toking back

all i can say is if i stay firm, it'll b either hb or bb... both r my hands... how? chop them off? chop one off? things will b as serious as separation coz when i stay firm i can b very stubborn... sigh... if u feel me gimme a pat on the back... i'm still lucky so far coz bb still bf

salute the BF part

i know i am also the aggressive talking back type, and it doesnt go well with hubby, he is super sensitive i tell u! So i take the logical and informative approach la.. surely every father/mother want the best for their baby mah...

qarezma, will try to tok the other way round... i've always wanted to say we r born in diff era, our parents r born in diff era n our bb is born now... 50s there's no computer or washing machine n life is hard... 80s after merdeka, life is getting better, got tv n fridge... now 2011 computer, washing machine, LED TV, fridge, freezer... always ask me y i can't hand wash, cook, do house chores... then u give up all the computer n tv then i'll hand wash n cook properly n not face the computer anymore... but saying this will b drastic eh? hehe... last time we fight i emailed (yes email) him that me n bb will b fine wif or without him... if he wants bb to b like him then ask mil to take k of the bb... if he wants an obedient wife then find another wife... all i want is bb... no matter he's ugly or not he's my boy... he was inside of me for 10 mths... so i think that email got into him... but that din make things better la... i just sort of let him know my stand... if one day i kenot tahan anymore that email will b served as my last reminder bad huh? oh ya next time hope to hear from u that ur bf is a success~!

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Added on March 15, 2011, 5:46 pmso despite my protest mil went ahead wif the mixture... i already compromised saying just give him a bit... "he din sleep well last nite" she said "it's just air beras mixed wif it... besides it's not the real thing... it's imitation/fake of it... just a bit... air beras is mild one... won't harm the bb... if i could i wouldn't give him drink... it's coz his heart is weak that he sweats cold... this will help him... if u dun do now it'll b too late... i'm not that rajin la..." i felt so helpless that i wish i could cry my heart out but only in silence... of coz i wasn't happy so my face wasn't happy... tonite will tell hb n c wat he says... but man, i soooooooooooooo... dunno wat to say... perhaps u can feel how i feel... no words can describe it... i'm his mum... can't i say no? u guys can say no n stop me but y couldn't i?

This post has been edited by nicKit: Mar 15 2011, 05:46 PM

thx i am gonna gear up better BF knowledge the next round

how did your baby behave last night? How she knows abt the weak heart all, she is heart surgeon or what.. haiz just go to the paed and get it sorted out... feels so sick listening to some illogical reasoning la...

i guess from the beginning your MIL got so much power, she really knows how to push u to do something... some more reading from the other thread, looks like your MIL is indeed the head of the family. Difficult situation for you as u are living with them already... sigh.. hang in there... i dont know how to advice u to stop her some more... i would say talk to your hubby.. hehe but here go again huh

qarezma, u're rite abt here we go again... told my hb when he came back from work... mana tau we're diff channel... i got ignored... wat did i do wrong? bb so small n u guys want to give him funny funny things... if like that then just give him normal meals now la... y bother bb food?? sigh... seriously i really feel like taking bb away n move out... there's nothing wrong wif the inlaws... they treat me fine... i'm not a slave in the family... i understand i need to do part of the housework n learn how to cook coz i'm a woman that is married (i'll quote phythia's "it's their upbringing") but can't i have bb for myself? if u haven't read previous posts before this they give him durian~! faint... he was quite behaving last nite but he's restless... his head, arms n legs will do sort of dancing like panic... before this seldom c him do for consecutive days... only once a while... tried to nurse him to sleep but couldn't... had to wait for him to b tired of the dancing then i can nurse him... sigh...

yeah, i read abt the durian stuff.
I dont blame you or your ILs, true enuf your upbringing and lifestyle is different, and this is sort of a clash of different people... i know and cant imagine how would it be if i were to stay with my ILs permanently, i will go MAD!

hang in there... try to soothe him your best known method...

qarezma, u know breaks my heart? he said bf i oso wanna win... this i oso wanna win... is this a competition? my heart asked... sigh...

tell him why he is so shallow take this as a competition? isnt it your life, your baby, your family together? if compete, what u get? u only want the best for your family and baby... it is a win-win situation

aiyoo your hubby mentality so sad la

Not to be disrespectful but there's a good reason why he's still staying with his momma

qarezma, mayb me n hb already biasa wif arguing n c who wins... that's y he say like that... sigh...

syd, at first i tot no harm la living his parents... then my mum warned me abt living wif inlaws... i tot nah... but then it's a diff story... last time i told my hb, ask our son to get a house before married... if live together better state the rules n wat i will n won't do clear cut from beginning rather than suffering at the end...

but i guess wat my fren say might b logically... i just married into the family n before we all comfortable or understood wif each other *bam* i got preggy... therefore becoming conflict after bb born... dunno how much of it is true but i'm kinda starting to eat it... coz it happened to her own sis

ok la usually when hubby and i argue oso he will say y i always want to win, so i tell him it is our life together, i am not winning a prize or something, it is for the better of our live, why see who win or lose? having said that.. there are times when i give in to hubby's idea oso if they are better than mine

no dear, it is not that process.. it is just the simple fact abt living with your ILs. Ask your mom back, why she warned you earlier.. it is like that. The bestest of the DIL and MIL still can argue... they are both not wrong, but they are both woman of different personality... arguments are bound to happen.. worst still if u got your hubby's sister living in the same house oso... same case there... woman vs woman is the worst kind of world war

nicKit..i'm so sorry to hear...just hang in there. I just hope nothing negative turns out.

qarezma, my mum was saying how can two tigers live in one mountain? ya... nothing is like a woman's wrath...

phythia, cross finger lo...