your definition of whining sure is pretty loose ...

I don't find myself crying ... maybe you're trying to project? lolol

unfortunately, what a girl finds hot in a guy is subjective.

no I don't believe God has chosen someone for you ... you choose who you're gonna be with.
no you shouldn't be out there headhunting for someone, but you shouldn't be sitting at home doing nothing hoping he/she would show up either.

Moderation, people, moderation.

That is a gentleman and a GENUINE guy ... not necessarily a nice guy

because they think they're entitled to a certain manner of treatment but don't give out the same treatment to others. it's a two way thing, you can't put all the blame on one party.

I unna stan xD
@selectt, noob13 makes a good point. This article is to make guys more self-aware of what their standards are and should be.

the problem with personalities like the "nice guy" is that women take advantage of it ... so I'm never surprised when I hear about situations like this and the guy is practically crying because of what she did.

you have to learn to accept things up to a certain point. you cannot just follow absolutely everything she says, because then you're sending her the message that she can do whatever she wants and you will just follow.

There are some things that you don't want to do or you just cannot accept her request to do something for her ... and you say so. Don't worship the ground she walks on. Feel lucky that she has chosen you, but don't become a doormat just because you think that is what makes her happy.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Apr 12 2011, 10:25 PM

how is it a death trap?

you do what you believe is right for you... why are you worrying so much about what she MIGHT think? you're not a mind-reader, if she has something to say she should say it. Same applies to you.

those two sentences already contradict each other. You say it's not worrying about what she might think but you don't want to do something she might think is wrong ... you're gonna be one of those little b**** boyfriends aren't you? LOL!

unfortunately, those are rare.

there's always a right and a wrong, it's just definitions that differ. I think open marriages are wrong, but others think it's grey area or even right.

why would you wonder whether you're being you? are you that far gone into Doormat-dom?

"you have nothing to lose" applies to what you bring to the table in the relationship, not what you lose afterwards trying to make it work. What have you got to lose by getting into a relationship? You gain love, trust, commitment, money is a trivial matter (as long as she's not a gold digger) ... what do you lose really?

I admire people who treat every relationship they get into like it's the last one .. but you have to have your head on your shoulders too. You can't sit and wonder if she was the one and that you'll never find someone like her again, because that is utter bullshit.

I don't believe in soulmates, I don't think they exist at all because of the fact that the whole idea is so very selfish. You can be with whoever you want to be, if both sides can love, trust, commit and compromise.

then she wasn't right for you in the first place.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Apr 13 2011, 12:01 AM

this is why I posted the article. People in CC like to call me a b**** who doesn't know what she's talking about (I don't know everything, but I sure know something) and that I'm really harsh with people who start threads in here. Why?

Because if you tell them flowery things about how the other person is wrong and all that, they will NEVER learn! Everybody who has commented in this thread has related somewhat to what has been said and some have even realized the type of person they are and now want to be different than the "nice guys" portrayed in the article!

So many of you are afraid of losing your partners ... jealousies abound and people constantly controlling what their partners do just to attempt to eliminate the possibility that their partner might leave them. Why? If they leave you, they weren't worth being with anyway!

I know it's difficult for people to see that ... but the main reason why they take such a long time to get over the past is because they keep hanging on to it!

no problem

I think it's more of the fact that people tend to do whatever it takes to keep their partners without actually considering the fact that their partners aren't right for them ... then they come in here whining about how they're being taken advantage of.

Well duh.

but that's not a good way to go about anything. if you make decisions emotionally, you are going to ruin yourself.