Some clarification regarding raw denim.
Your pair probably doesn't have any contrast fades due to the first wash. It isn't a school of thought like you said, just results. If you skip the first wash for say, 6 months then chances are you would probably get some nice fades and whiskering and such. That's just the nature of dry denim.
You could also wash before wearing, sure. However most times this causes the denim to wear more uniformly resulting in less contrast to your fades like what happened here. Of course, this might not happen. But consensus is that it's more or less bound to if washed before wear.
I'm no expert when it comes to dry denim, but here's my advice. On purchase, always do a pre-soak. Just throw it in a tub or something for an hour or 2 then dry. This will eliminate the starch and shrink your denim with very minimal dye loss. Results being, you get it slightly softer and a more accurate feel for the shrunken/actual size. Then just wear until it becomes too mucky to wear. Wash inside out with very little mild detergent on gentle cycle. Repeat until they fall apart.