parents sometimes can really b a burden.
if parents hav enough money left for rest of their lives, dey shouldn't burden their children by asking money sommore.
so call taking care of money for children is bullshit, we're not kid any more.
the more money the children hav, the more likely he/she is to success @ career.

if future parents in law insist wan ping kam as token of appreciation, den fine, i'll giv.
but little do they know, i'm gonna minus the ping kam bck out from supposedly monthly allowance they r getting from me.
eg, supposedly, i play to giv in laws 500/m. dey insist ping kam, ok, i'll then quietly drop the allowance to 300 - 400 a month.

i calculated dat my future wedding (if there is any), would cost triple digits......

sorry to offense
you are selfish to me
when we were small, will our parents ever think that we are their burden?
when they are old now, they become burden to us?
i understand some folks nagging a lot and sometimes very stubborn, but still, they are our parents.
so do our couple's parents, we should respect them, same as we respect our couple.

You will never know until you become a parent.

This post has been edited by ItsMyUsername: May 1 2011, 12:47 AM

Seriously, rm500 per month ? Buying food, go pasar and pay all the bills enough ka ?
My bro already giving my mom rm500 per month now.

We don't need to pay for the cars and 2 houses but it's still not enough.
My mom go pasar buy pork meat already spent at least Rm50+, what about the fish ? the vegetables ? Rice ?
Go Carefour buy daily use stuff already Rm200+

House got dogs ? Like mine, I got 4, dog food ? Shampoo ?
When we sick go clinic see doctor ?

Rm500 ?? Seriously, damn little la, somemore want to cut it until Rm300-400.

Wth? 1888 2888 888!? is shit -.-''

Me 7 years back also give 8888 lo...and tot it was 'standard'....dint know got lower 1...zzz

My mom 20 years ago, ping kam also 5k d...

So how much do you want your future husband to pay for you?
How much do you think you are worth?

ts im on your side,my mom married 20 years ago ping kam also rm4k back then,rm4k back there is alot of money somemore my father also not that rich that time,but what to do love ma. i think rm6k is ok cos KL rate is like that,its not about the money or sell daughter cos this is the tradition unless both side agree that the tradition can void then its ok

No need
My parents not so chinese traditional 1 because last time they were forced to do a lot of things that they don't like so they do not want us to be like that too.

no offence, just a little miss understanding......
wat i mention earlier is dat "it is selfish for parents to request money from children even if dey already hav well enough money". <------ dis is burden
but if parents do need your money to live on, dats different story, dat is part of the responsibility of kids to feed & giv money to parents (including in laws). <-------dis is responsibility, not burden

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Added on May 2, 2011, 5:11 pm500 is just a quick example that slip out, there r many factors take into count, such as:

1) do parents has som sorts of income after retired? (such as rent, bond)
2) how many sibling u hav. (of coz, more siblings mean average will b less per person)
3) whether u live wit parents o not. (or ur if dey take care of ur kids)

so conclusion not every family is like urs.

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Added on May 2, 2011, 5:14 pmdis whole "standard" thing is still stupid.....
in the end, it's all about 'air muka' again......"see every1, my daughter is expensive, coz she's pretty, good, & got class"
bragging tools to frens & relatives again....

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Added on May 2, 2011, 5:15 pmgood for u....
i like the way ur parents think.

This post has been edited by tech3910: May 2 2011, 05:15 PM

@tech3910

No offense. IMHO, what is a value for selling a child to a parents would you think?It may be 1k, or 10k or even 100k or even 1million? When a parents let a guy married their daughter, what is their feelings especially for their mum? Will my daughter will be good after married?Do you know the ping kam they got may return back to their daughter or perhaps saved it for their daughter case need it in future?

However, it depends on your capability in term of $$ to give to your parents.

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Added on May 4, 2011, 8:48 amI will write them a cheque for the agreed ping kam. And a ear ring from my mum for my wife. Will expedite this coming end May.

This post has been edited by Gary1981: May 4 2011, 08:48 AM

No offense Gary, but I find your reasoning for pingkam very demeaning and disrespectful to the groom, not to mentioned stupid and worthless.

You talked about the feelings of the mum when marrying her daughter.
You are not being specific but I'll assume that you mean the concerns and worries the mum will have about how the bride's life will be upon her marriage.
Now that is fine, but how is money going to elevate the concerns?
A rich but useless guy can pay a lot, a poor nice guy cannot. So it the rich guy going to be a better husband?
No, the mum (or parents) should already know the groom from the dating stage. That should be how the parents determine how good a person the groom is. Not with money (unless all they care about is money).
And the other reasoning you have about saving those money for their daughter, why is there a need for that?
Why can't the bride and groom save their own money? If they can't do that on their own, then they shoulnd't get married in the first place.

Are we still living in the age where the daugthers stay at home until suitors come knocking for the hand in marriage? When parents know nothing of the guy except for what the matchmaker said about him. Where money will measure the groom's family standing.

I am surprised that despite being the internet generation, the youngsters are still so mindlessly traditional.

@xecton

"what is a value for selling a child to a parents would you think?It may be 1k, or 10k or even 100k or even 1million?"

Apologize for not being specific. My above phrase is meant to people that comment the ping kam that request from the parents are relation to selling their daughter. To sell a child is not only abt 10k, 100k or whatever. There are no specific value to raise a child.

non taken, i'm very open to advice, idea or criticism.

the bolded part, dis is the excuse most widely use.....
but most of the time, in the end....."$ cannot bring in coffin, y dont i just gamble it b4 i die".

Gary......marriage is not selling or buying daughter.......it is the bonding of 2 individuals.
if it is selling, den meaning after he married the girl & giv ping kam, den he has total control on her & even can restrict her from seeing her families ever again?

this is not the old days any more.
wen the guy married the girl, he al bear the responsibility of taking care of the in laws as well, including financial.
asking for ping kam, is like the story of killing the chicken who lays golden eggs.

This post has been edited by tech3910: May 4 2011, 12:16 PM

The discussion is not moving on coherently, but never mind....
So in response to your answer, what is the pingkam for?

it is depends on your affordability.
wat is the point of asking 10 - 20k if the guy family cant afford.
the parents will only make the new couple suffer....

Hello,
What is the recent market rate for ping kam in KL/Pj now?

Hi TS. I just stumbled this. It's 2025 now .just wondering if u're still happily married or divorced ??

lol why necro this old thread

looking back, i just realise the young generation are still believing in this tradition.

luckily, i didnt have to go through this in my marriage.

looking at this thread and looking at a high number of ppl supporting TS, no wonder other communities put a negative stereotype on the chinese community and associating it with money, money, and money.

As a chinese also, i feel ashamed how some can just think about money, money, and money only.