gosh I read the first 10page, too.
Honestly, if I am your gf, I would have dumped you before the relationship even reaches 1 year.

Come on,even after 8 years you "never know which was her primary, secondary school and favourite places, I would have explored her childhood with her." u don't date 8 years for nothing.

It seems like she really got nothing...no undestandings , no love and care, no one call away bf, no one to gossip and share life's ups and downs 247. Gosh, I WON'T want to be in her shoes.

Her family probably hated u, too, and could've advised her to break up with u secretly, but she stayed on, and never put any pressure on u. But U instead, pressured her to "fit in", indirectly (through your teachings).

And to me, she was practically single throughout the 3 years u did ur PHD. U're relationship IS DYSFUNCTIONAL from the start. 5minutes a week.. nono, ur relationship by right is less than even 5years..from the amount u spend/communicate with each other.

sidenote: My cousin and her bf 8 years together, and they know each other thoroughly. From each other's favourite past time, to the detergents they use.

and your family is DAMN BLOODY TRADITIONAL. Stop emphasizing u're the only son and your dad has high expectations on u.

U should bring in your sister , too. Is ur sister not part of the family? Must u be the only person who inherits everything?

It's the 21st century we're living in. My family is similar to yours, brother gets all the guidance he needs, whereas I got nothing, and boy was I pissed all the time. But learnt not to care.

Even I got more balls than u.I rebelled and got slapped on my left cheek by my dad until I almost got deaf on my left ear. My other gal cousin ranaway from home..in the end our parents realised their mistakes and changed for us instead.

In conclusion, stop being 'tied to your PARENT'S apron.' I know u have to respect them but u need to be respected , too, that u are old enough to decide what u want in life. Not be their puppet.

Your parents are going to leave u one day, and the one that has a higher probability is your partner. If u do end up getting together with someone to please your parents, and when they are gone, u and your "future" partner might not last. Then comes divorce and division of all your hardwork (money, property..etc).

I think its best if u are absolutely sure that u can spend more time and EFFORT with your ex..only then u try getting back with her. Otherwise, nope, stop wasting her time. Girls do get pressures, too, if the guy's suitable for us for eternity. Cause our biological clock is ticking.

So, if u can't change anything at all...work all hardcore now, get buried in all your business deals....retire at age 50, being all filthy rich, and get young 20 year old chicks / or a 20 year old chick to marry.

good luck, and sorry for the super long reply.

This post has been edited by mic.darlin9: Dec 2 2009, 12:00 PM

Experiences and exposure..not conflicts. The practicals , not theories from books. Application, not memorization. Learning, not spoon-fed.

He had conflicts with his dad but still never changes. He had conflicts with his ex, but he's still the same. He had conflicts with his mum, but all he did was sulk and stormed off.

Well, don't generalize Asians , please. Immaturity comes from the way we are brought up, whether protected or kicked to the 'wild' to survive, regardless of Caucasians, Asians and animals.

well, u did great.
your story is organised. don't know why some people get all confused.

I think she really still have feelings for u, but if its true that James is her current bf...then I would really pity him, cause it would really hurt to have a current gf/bf running back to their ex, and completely erase u from their life.

If i am her...there's so much to think through. it is risky, dating u. she doesn't have all the time in the world anymore if u were to disappoint her again.

but she's not me,and u definitely understand her better than me. So do things base on ur instincts and all the best.

This post has been edited by mic.darlin9: Dec 7 2009, 02:34 AM